DIABETES IS A CHOICE AND I CHOOSE TO SAY NO

I've been watching a series of documentaries this week called iThrive.  It's about the pandemic of diabetes that is currently happening in our world and what can be done about it.  It features all the experts that I trust and follow as well as a few that I find shady and a couple that I find truly misleading.  There was literally nothing in this that I hadn't heard before but I DON'T mean that as a criticism of this series and I DO recommend watching it if you get a chance, especially if you aren't aware that diabetes is a choice and can be reversed most of the time.  The doctors who treat diabetes 2 patients with a WFPB, SOS free diet improve their numbers and reduce medication every time and completely reverse it most of the time if the patient is totally compliant.  
(*WFPB - whole-food, plant-based; SOS no salt, oil or refined  sugars)

It's always hard for me to hear the data on diabetes because, in my mind, it is pretty much criminal how many people are left to suffer and die horrible deaths from diabetes when it is completely reversible if caught early, can be greatly improved if not reversed at any time and it is affecting millions more people every year.  It is one of the leading causes of death in this country and many others.  And, while it used to be a disease of the elderly and pretty rare when I was a kid in the 60s and 70s, it is as common as dirt now and rapidly becoming a disease that affects little children far too often.  But mostly, it hurts to watch a series like this one because I watched my sweet Mama become blind, crippled with neuropathy, go on dialysis for the last 14 years of her life (unusual really for someone to last as long as she did after going on dialysis) and eventually die at the age of 68 looking and feeling more like 98 from this terrible disease.

Mama was a nurse and a very determined woman who had overcome alcohol addiction, given up cigarettes cold turkey after 30 years of a pack and a half a day, went back to college at 48 after her first heart attack and graduated Magna Cum Laude even though her previous education only consisted of completing 8th grade and vocational school.  This is a woman who followed her doctors' orders.  If she had been told that changing to a diet of mostly fruits and veggies could reverse her diabetes, I promise you she would have done it.  She actually loved vegetables and grew a huge garden when we had enough space.  She would eat an onion just like an apple and snacked on the raw veggies as she was chopping them up for dinner. And I'm telling you, the woman could have happily lived on potatoes.  She could have been a STAR McDougaller.  Unfortunately, she was also a Southern woman who learned to cook in Texas.  She was chopping those veggies to smother them in butter and/or cheese and to be a side dish to a big slab of meat.  EVERYTHING was either deep fat fried or smothered in sauce, cheese or butter.  She could make scratch biscuits and sausage gravy in her sleep.

Diabetes is definitely one of the things I always "knew" I would end up with.  It is rampant in our family.  My brother David is suffering with it now.  One of the people in the documentary, sorry I can't remember who it was, said that you can't save the people closest to you and boy is that true and SO frustrating!  My brother won't listen to me.  He is one of the tough guy, "we all gotta die sometime" types who would rather enjoy his food than good health.  And that is exactly how it is!  Diabetes is a choice most all of the time.  (Please note that I am only speaking of type 2 diabetes.  Type 1 can also be improved with this lifestyle but isn't AS reversible as type 2 and the causes of type 1 are not as clear.)  It is incomprehensible to me that anyone would literally choose certain foods over good health once the information is made available to them and I tend to think they just aren't allowing themselves to believe it so that they can justify to themselves continuing with that behavior. Plus, they don't seem to acknowledge that they are not only choosing an earlier death but also suffering a great deal more while they live.  But that is a whole 'nother blog.  I'm getting off on a tangent, which I definitely tend to do when the subject of diabetes is raised.   Anyway... I always knew that I would end up with diabetes.  After all, I was told over and over that I had the genes for it and because I was obese, I was at even higher risk for it.  Doctors told me numerous times that I was "showing signs" of being pre-diabetic and were amazed with each of my 5 pregnancies that I did not test positive for gestational diabetes since I was obese, genetically predisposed and had really large babies.  I spent my life feeling like a ticking time bomb.  But I now know that I never have to suffer my mom's fate.  I can choose differently.  Genes can be expressed or turned off with lifestyle and food choices.  My family history is not my fate.

So watching this series was hard for me.  But it was also really, really good for me.  It was another kick in the keester to get myself back on track.  I have been feeling more and more strongly that I need to do a juice fast, possibly interspersed with a bit of water fasting to get myself back on the path to weight loss and excellent health.  I have, as I have mentioned previously, gotten off track.  Fast food and processed food has once again begun to represent a large proportion of my intake.  And lately, I have even started giving in to cravings for totally non-compliant foods.  I've had actual binges with increasing regularity and I'm too ashamed to admit what my weight is up to at this point.  I'm not back to my heaviest and I'd like to keep it that way.  It's time.  NOW.  Today.  I haven't eaten anything yet today and I am ready to get this party started again.  Today is a blank slate waiting for me to write upon it.  I must choose to write "health" or "harm."  I remember how incredibly well I felt when I was 100% WFPB.  I remember how much energy I had.  I remember how clear my mind was.  I remember how great it felt to walk long distances or work out and feel my body responding like a body is supposed to!  I have to remember those things because they are not true today.  But TODAY I change that.  So thank you Jon (the fellow who made the iThrive documentaries) for a much needed reminder that I didn't "fix" my problems forever by eating right for a couple of years.  I have to give myself the highest possibility possible for excellent health and avoiding the darker side of my genes every single day.  I can still develop the heart disease, diabetes, and cancer that are lurking in my genes if I don't choose to disable those genes every single day.

REWARDS AND PUNISHMENT

One thing I have known for a long time on an intellectual level but that I recently felt slip into my working reality is that each time I feed myself, I am choosing whether to punish or reward myself.  I ate some donuts yesterday.  I haven't eaten donuts in years and they were in my home (VERY rare occurrence) and I thought, it's been years - literally years.  I can have a treat.  But was that a treat? NO!  It was a punishment!  I harmed myself!  You don't reward yourself by harming yourself.  I KNEW I was harming myself.  I know too much now to fall for the old, "just this once, I deserve a treat now and then" bullshit.  I DESERVE to lose this weight and feel vibrant, energetic and healthy.  I DESERVE to enjoy my life with little fear of heart disease, diabetes or other diseases causing me to lose my quality of life.  I DESERVE to give myself every opportunity to be around to see my amazing grandsons grow into amazing men, fall in love, become husbands and fathers if they choose to and to make the world a better place.  In the big picture, who the hell cares about the mouthfeel of a donut?!  But I ate the damn thing because I have slipped more and more over the last 2 years into addictive thinking.  I dwell on fears and worries, I obsess over food continually.  There is rarely an hour in the day when I am not thinking about what I could "get away with" eating.  I've redeveloped the habit of hitting a drive-through or buying something at the deli every time I go out!  "Well, at least it's just a bean burrito."  "Well, this horrible meal won't do as much harm if I don't eat anything else all day."  Bitch please!  I  have slipped backwards a lot more than I ever thought I could and it is time I acknowledged that fact.  It is also time I recognize and deal with the food addict aspect of my problems.  I honestly wish I could afford to enroll in Chef AJ's Ultimate Weight Loss program but she generously shares a lot of information and support for free so I'll be taking advantage of that.  I know from experience that I cope better if I jump straight into the deep end rather than inching in toe first so... this is me, jumping into the deep end again.  Today, smoothies and salads and veggie soup.  The plan is to do that until Friday or Saturday.  And then to juice fast or water fast throughout the rest of March.  I won't use budget as an excuse to quit.  If I can't afford produce to juice then I will simply water fast.  That is free.  This is the best way I know to reset my taste buds and get the addictive crap out of my system and reboot my enthusiasm for this lifestyle.  I will blog every morning to keep myself accountable.  Even if it is just a line or two, I'll post something.  Even if I have to say I screwed the pooch, I will post something.  Pass the noseplug, I'm jumping in.

ONE YEAR RESULTS ON JUICING and WHOLE, PLANT-BASED FOOD

So it's been a year.  In some ways it seems that it can't possibly have been that long but mostly it just seems like it has to have been longer.  Not in a bad way...  in a "this is just how I live and completely normal" kinda way.  I can't imagine not eating this way.  Yesterday my 18 year old, Harmoni, saw some horrible food advertised on tv and said, "I sometimes wonder why we ever wanted to start eating like that to begin with.  Now it feels like I should have always wanted to just surround myself with fruit and salad and juice.  Why would I NOT?!"  Made me a proud and happy mom, I'll tell you that.  (You should hear her go OFF when pharmaceutical commercials come on. LOL)

So on my one year anniversary I completed a 5K with my gorgeous and amazing oldest daughter, Bonni. It was literally surreal.  This was me, Natalie, at a 5K in the late August heat!  I won't go all into just how sick and in pain I was one year ago, I described that pretty thoroughly in my early posts.  We all know I was headed for a wheelchair and an amputation and not long for the world the way I was headed last year.  This post is my victory song.  This post is about JOY.  But standing there in the heat, waiting in line for my packet for about 2 hours, the old Natalie couldn't have even been outside on a day like that much less on my feet the whole time.  Here is a little vid I took while standing in line and a pic of the goofy gear we put on for this GlowRun.  A year ago my main focus when out in public was to remain as invisible as possible.  I didn't want to subject anyone to noticing me any more than necessary.  As you can see, that doesn't exactly describe me now;)

The little glow tubes we made our glasses and necklaces out of came in our packets but they were duds.  No glowing:(  So I bought the dreads and the bracelet and got my face painted.  We then had another hour to wait in 95 degree heat in a big park for them to start lining people up for the start of the race.  So we go looking for someplace to get some water.  Well, no luck.  They only sold beer.  At the 5K.  In AUGUST.  No joke.  I am thinking of writing to them about that because that is dangerous.  Most of us brought a bottle of water but only one.  We assumed water would be available at a 5K!  That is not only foolish but dangerous.  Thankfully I am very conscientious about staying well hydrated.  The only water available that entire hot afternoon and evening (nearly 5 hours altogether) was one 12 oz bottle at the halfway point and one at the finish line.  And many people stayed for the after party as well so even longer for them with, I'm sure, plenty of beer:/  But enough griping about that.  Once it got dark, they lined everyone up at the starting gate and boy were there a LOT of people!  They had people start in waves and since I'm pretty slow compared to most of these youngsters, we joined the last wave - wave 6.  So that means we stood in line for another half hour. LOL  In my old life I was extremely claustrophobic and a bit agoraphobic and really, really needed my personal space.  I couldn't stand to be in big crowds; couldn't stand to be bumped and jostled.  I would have full blown panic attacks.  But there I stood in the middle of the road with hundreds of people crowding up to the starting line and all I could do was thank God for bringing me there.  For allowing me to fulfill the dream that began a couple of years ago when my Bonni took up running and, one day after watching the Biggest Loser, she said to me, "Wouldn't it be cool if we could do one together some day?"  Inwardly I wept because I fully believed that it would never be possible.  I knew how rapidly I was declining but I hadn't told my children.  It would become obvious to them soon enough.  But my God wasn't done with me yet.  And when he placed the way before me, I took it without hesitation and guess what...

There  you have it.  My celebration of my rebirth.  My declaration to the world that I am back.  That August day in 2013 when Fat Sick and Nearly Dead popped up on my suggestions in Netflix, I knew immediately that everything was about to change.  I NEVER EVER took pictures of myself.  But I took one that day.  I had my kids help me out to the yard and I took a picture.   I knew I would need the proof one day of how far I had come.  I knew I would need to remind myself from time to time of just how bad off I was.  I usually didn't write doom and gloom in my journal but I had written very openly of my despair just the week before.  God knew I would need to remember just how far I had sunk into that despair.  The way was prepared before me in so many big and small ways.  It is really amazing to look back on.

I still have a long way to go.  Anyone want to put money on how far I will go by next August?  I'll be riding horses again on a regular basis I can promise you that.  I'll be completing more 5Ks with and even without my daughter and this time I will run them the whole way.  Me with the tore up, bone-on-bone knees and the leg with damaged circulation that would need to be amputated and TWO crippling bone diseases in my back WILL be running 5K.  Running is actually starting to feel good to me now so I know I'll get there.  I feel like I have probably lost about half the weight I will eventually need to but I know that as long as I keep my tunnel vision locked on my health that the weight will take care of itself.  Over the past few months there have been periods where I maintained my weight loss for a while and then got into "reboot mode" and lost some more and then maintained for a while again.  How fantastic and liberating to know that I have the tools I need to do both. To lose and to maintain.

I knew I would need to put together a new progress picture when I hit one year.  My last one was done at about 9 months I believe.  I was a bit worried I would feel let down as would my friends and family since I haven't lost all that much weight in the last 3 months.  I don't know exactly how much since my scale quit working and I'm not going to replace it for a while.  I need to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak, and focus on health and joy instead of numbers on a scale.  But I dutifully went into the bathroom to take my progress picture.  As I was taking it I thought, "I should probably change into some nice tight jeans to hold that gut in.... except my jeans are all baggy so I'd have to borrow some from my daughter, Gini. ... Oh ugh that double chin is just never going to go away...  Wow my hair has gotten long!"  And then I looked at the picture.  I pulled up the picture next to that one I took last year and I wept.  I look like me again.  I am excited about losing more weight, sure.  Big time!  But I really have to stop under-valuing what I have already done.  A few observations... my hair has NEVER grown very fast.  I couldn't believe how much it had grown in that year.  And because of hypothyroidism, I didn't have any outer eyebrows at all and now they are coming back!  And best of all... sorry if this is TMI, my boobs stick out further than my gut again!  Been a long while for that!!  LOL

So even though I had intended for that to be a test run and I would fix my hair and put on cuter clothes and then take the one I would share with people, I just used that one.  It's real.  It's me.  And for today I'm 100% happy with that.  Now bring on year number 2!  Life is good on da juice!!!

Plateaus, Set Points and Other Boogeymen

I have said many times that even if I never lost another pound, I would continue to eat a plant-based diet and drink green juice because it has given me back my health.  I would reassure others who hit weight plateaus for a week or two to just keep at it and the weight would start to go down again.  Our bodies sometimes need time to adjust to this new way of being and doing, especially if we have been very overweight for a very long time.  I had been from 280 to 340 for a couple of decades.  So mid-March when I hit a plateau, I had to put my money where my mouth is so to speak.  I hit a plateau.  I hit 265 and my body froze, looked at me in horror and said, "Are you kidding me?  We're melting like the wicked witch after she got watered down by Dorothy! This ain't right!!!  Do you WANT to disappear?  What if there's a famine?  This is dangerous!  You can't just go losing weight willy nilly I tell you!"  
It didn't help that I had several extra-curricular stress activities pop up during this same time frame.  If you don't know or understand what the stress hormone, Cortisol, can do to weight loss efforts, look up Dr. John Bergman on youtube.  He explains it better than anyone else I've seen.  
So for a couple of weeks, I was totally zen about this plateau.  Seriously.  I really didn't let it bother me because I understood what was happening.  I had hit a lower weight than I'd seen in at least 15 years.  When it had been a month, I started to get worried in that scared, secret, small place inside me that has always feared this new found health and energy will be ripped away.  Right at this same time I was getting super busy trying to pack and clean to move out of this house finally.  After several months of planning to move, we are finally actually moving.  We HAVE to be out of this house by the end of the month even if it means camping out at the lake until we can find something else.  Long story....  anyway, I was extremely busy and having to use every coping mechanism I had not to let the stress get to me.  We had a very, very hard winter financially along with some other life stressors so it was no surprise, really, that the weight loss stalled.  Knowing and understanding that and dealing with seeing that number stay the same every day are two different things.  Actually, it didn't stay exactly the same.  My weight, as with most people, can fluctuate 3-5 pounds in any given week which is the main reason I usually weigh daily. So I had hit that 265 for about 2 days when my weight started doing a gentle rollercoaster up and down and up and down from 266 to 269 for weeks.  So I put the scale away.  I didn't want worry over that number to pull my focus away from the main thing which is my health.  I just played Dory and kept on swimming... and eating my plants and making my juice.  As Spring came on strong, I did what I had always planned to do and shifted more to raw fruits and salads and less soups and starches. Not a big shift but just a bit more of this and a bit less of that.  It felt right.  I felt a boost in energy almost immediately.  
I was out of town for over a week and got home last Wednesday night.  Thursday morning I decided to pull out the scale and see where I was at and it said 266.  Okay.  Saturday morning, 264.  Hey!  Monday morning, today, 261!  Yeah!  Bye-bye plateau!  I learned from you.  I let you be and you let me be and now we must part ways.  See ya!
That plateau lasted nearly two months.  I learned that I really do have the power of my convictions within me to put my health first.  I really felt that my body would eventually begin to seek a healthier weight once again.  But I knew that if it didn't or if it took a year or two for that to happen, I would be okay in the meantime as long as I continued to flood my body with real nutrition.  I learned some valuable lessons about myself.  I have said many times that how I feel is far more important than how I look and I proved to myself that this was true.  I've said that I have learned to trust my body.  Now I've proven it.  I've also proved to myself that if the scale becomes a detriment, I can just put it away.  
I recently watched a video shared by my friend, Lori.  It was posted by a bariatric surgeon and explained how our bodies will establish "set points" at a very high weight.  He went into the anthropology of it all.  His point was to make us feel hopeless to lose the weight without surgery.  FALSE.  The problem is that most people hit those points where their body is trying to adjust to the changes you've made, the weight loss slows or stops so they tighten down on the calories even more.  They starve their cells which makes the body freak out even more.  "Starvation!  She's trying to kill us!"  If you hit your plateau - or your new "set point" - and you just keep FLOODING your body with amazing nutrition, your body WILL relax and realize that it is safe to allow more of that weight to go.  Truth.  Doctors selling hopelessness to line their pockets make me sick.  Right up until I drink my green juice or eat my bowl of fruit or salad.  THAT makes me very, very well:)
JUICE ON YA'LL.  WE GOT THIS!!

Spring Update To Juice Fast or Not to Juice Fast...

Wow, I have really neglected my blog.  I have started making more and more videos and people are actually watching them and I sort of "get it out of my system" in the videos so I just don't think to come blog.  I will try to remedy that.  Also, at the end of this blog, I have a new progress picture for you:)
I am still on this amazing journey.  I tried another juice fast in March and made it less than 3 weeks.  I had a little budget crisis and a whole bunch of stress the 3rd week of March and just decided to go back to modified.  It's cool with me because I don't feel a need to prove anything to myself or anyone else at this point.  I am just continuing on my healthy path.  It's all part of the journey.
I did discover that letting the stress of life get to me does impede my weight loss even if I don't eat wrong over it.  I have been on a plateau for about 3 weeks now, just running up and down the same 3 pounds.  Frustrating.  But then I remember that I am struggling to get the weight loss going again to get me into the 250s when this time last year I was struggling to stay OUT of the 350s.
So where I am at right now is trying to figure out exactly what approach will be a good overall weight loss approach within what I'm already doing.  I am in this for the long haul.  I still need to lose 100 lbs or close to it (I'm 264.. or 5... or 6 lol) so I want to find the plant-based approach that is the perfect balance for me between optimum weight loss and what works with where I am right now in life.  We are moving at the end of the month (finally!)  so my house and kitchen are a disaster.  I am feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do before the end of the month too so I just need it to be simple.  Honestly, if I wasn't on a budget crunch, I would just do an all raw, high fruit cleanse for April.  I just can't afford all that fruit.  So I've been playing around with options and for the first two weeks of April. I'm doing the following:
2-4 days a week of juice ONLY - Sunday, Monday, probably Tuesday and maybe Wednesday.
On the other 3-4 days, I will have 1-2 juices and 1-2 healthy, plant-based, raw meals, 1 plant-based, cooked meal, and as much as I want/can afford of fruit, nuts and seeds.  I will try for healthy, home-made dressing on my salad but if I need to use a premade dressing, I will.  No stress this two weeks. This will not be very structured or  well-defined.  These food days are pretty much what I have been doing when not on juice fast this whole time.  Will this plan break through my plateau?  We shall see.
I would love to do a food journal here but I can't promise that to be honest.  I am writing down what  I eat in a little notebook though.  At the end of two weeks, I will switch up some things and see what affect it has on my weight, energy, mood etc.  Not sure yet exactly what I'll switch up.  May try 7 days of all juice except 1 raw meal.  That would be a pretty big switch up.  Or I may just cut out the bottled dressing altogether and start being more structured with exactly how much I allow of the fruit and nuts.  We'll see.  Who knows, since I will be actually coming up on the time we move during that portion, I may want to do all juice 5 days a week or something.  Stay tuned!
My new progress picture is taken with my two youngest daughters who have been on this journey with me since day one.  In this picture, I have lost 75 lbs and Harmoni and Gini have each lost in the area of 45-47 lbs (can't remember which is which to tell the truth.)  We went for a walk together and a friend was waiting at our house when we got home and took this pic for us.  The pics on the left are us when we started back in August.  The butterfly is to cover where Harmoni's top had ridden up and her pants were low cut so her belly was showing which she was self-conscious about.  She is SOOOO long-waisted that she has this problem a lot.  Poor kid has heard, "Harmoni!  Pants up, shirt down" so many times in her life it's pathetic.  Anyway, we are feeling fantastic this Spring!  How about you?

Exciting Plans for March

So, February is over and I'm glad to see it go.  The weather is gradually getting better and better although there are still way too few sunny days for my taste.  We are supposed to get ice and frigid temps for Sunday and Monday but then it is supposed to warm up to normal temps for this area and time of year.  So with the majority of the really cold stuff behind us, I am confident enough to go ahead and start another juice fast.  I'm juicing at least through March and maybe part or all of April.  I'm calling this my March Juicing Madness!
I reached my second 10% goal in February so that was a huge victory that put me at 275.5 and I actually got down to 273.  But overall February weight loss was quite slow.  I believe that it is probably normal for our bodies to hold onto the weight tighter when we are exposed to frequent subzero temps as a safety mechanism and I was definitely exposed.  Not as in, "Baby It's Cold Outside" so I'll stay in my house where it's nice and warm.  Oh no!  I'm talking cold as in my house is a pile of crap and you can't keep it warm.  Cannot.  I have been freezing my assets off this winter.  But I just feel in my bones that my body is ready to start letting it go again so as a kick start, I'm back on Da Juice!  I have my brain in juicing gear so that I'm not even looking at or thinking about the chewed stuff.  That is the hard-to-describe difference between wanting to do a juice fast and having it just not take off like I did earlier this winter and a juice fast that is working for me.  I'm in the zone baby.  
I'm really pumped because the 10% goal I'm working on right now is to go from 275.5 to 248.  Making 248 will put me just 8 pounds away from having lost 100lbs.  So I've been hoping that I could hit 248 by the end of March but now I'm thinking that I will go on into April however far it takes to actually hit 100lbs gone.  I'm really going to hit 100lbs gone!  Like within the next few weeks!  How exciting is that?!
I made a youtube vid about my March plans that I've also posted here on my blog and I am getting ready to upload one about willpower.  I said I didn't believe in willpower and a friend said she was curious about that and I should make a vid so I did:)  It'll be up shortly.  I don't usually feel like I really articulate what I'm trying to say in these videos which is frustrating for me as public speaking is another one of those things that I used to be good at:/  But it is a personal challenge I've set for myself.  It's almost therapeutic.  
So that's where I'm at for March.  I'm planning to weigh in on Fridays so I'll at least post progress blogs on Friday or Saturday of each week.
JUICE ON! WE GOT THIS!!!

Is It My Amazing Willpower? BHAHAHA!

I am in an online group who set a goal each quarter of the year to lose 25lbs with the goal of ultimately losing 100lbs in one year.  I started my journey in August of 2013 so I didnt start this particular challenge until the last quarter of 2013.  So from Oct 1 to Dec 31, my personal challenge (it is NOT a competition) was to get from 310 to 285.  I did that.  Nearly exactly that.  So now for the first quarter of 2014, my goal is to get to 260 by March 31st.  I'm already to 274.  I KNOW that I will reach my goal.  The sad fact is, I won't have much company.  Very few reached their goal last quarter and very few are looking good for this quarter.  The MOST important thing, of course, is that most participants lost some weight. And equally important is that they are mostly still trying as we all know my policy is that you don't fail until you quit.
The thing is, I have to sometimes remind myself not to feel guilty for succeeding where so many others who are trying SO hard fail.  Does that sound crazy?  I find myself downplaying or just very quietly recording my success unless someone else in the group brings it up.  I've made no secret of my methods but I don't try to "push" them on anyone else.  So there are people on there using all different sorts of approaches.  I mean some of these people count every bite, track it on their calorie tracker and work out like a beast and make sure they have a "calorie deficit."  They work hard for every pound lost!  Each person has their own idea of what a "healthy diet" looks like and that is fine.  The thing is, I honest-to-goodness have to fight feeling guilty because what I'm doing is so easy to me.  I don't feel like I'm having to really "fight" for it anymore.  It is comfortable and easy.
On the other hand, I do occasionally have to fight off mini waves of panic that at any time now it will all be ripped away.  My plant-strong diet will suddenly stop healing my body.  My body will suddenly stop seeking a healthy weight and releasing the fat.  I will once again find myself "fat, sick and nearly dead." The great thing is that the scared little girl who fears these things is growing paler, weaker and quieter with each passing day.  I know that this fear is just born of a sad, sick past.  It isn't real.  It isn't a part of my today or my tomorrow.  I can ignore it and it will go away.  Once in a while "ignore it and it will go away" actually works in our favor! LOL  Seriously though, if we don't feed our fear, it will wither up and die.  If we indulge in it and feed it (with our time and attention) it will grow stronger.  Don't feed the fear!
So, the qustion is, how can I succeed after all these years with my abysmal track record when so many other are failing?  Am I smarter? No.  Am I blessed with a better metabolism? BAHAHAHA!!  Do I work harder? Not in most cases!  Some people I know work super hard at doing everything "right" with painfully little to show for it.  Do I have more willpower? No.   Only two things come to mind to explain this.  One, I hit my own personal rock bottom which put me in the perfect position to be truly willing to do whatever is required.  Most people look at my life style and only focus on what they would have to give up.  They immediately zero in on whatever their particular weakness is.  "No steak?!" "No doughnuts?!" "No McDonalds?!"  NO WAY!!  Whereas my focus is on NO PAIN! NO WEAKNESS! NO WHEELCHAIR! NO STROKE!  NO HOSPITAL! NO MORE SIZE 28!  So when someone asks me if I'll never have a cookie cake or a pizza ever again, I can calmly, truthfully and with no regrets say, "Not if you paid me!"
The second thing is much simpler for me but resisted by so many because of the pervasive lies we have been fed as a society about diet and nutrition.  It's the plants.  That's it.  Beginning, middle and end.  It's. The. Plants. Plants heal and nourish.  Fake foods and chemically and genetically modified crap posing as food destroy and damage and disease.  Plants heal and nourish.  It. Is. The. Plants.

February Plans and Some Reflection On My Weight History

So after a VERY depressing Superbowl and yummy and healthy but overly plentiful game day snacks, I am ready to get this ball rolling again.  I was planning to just flatout juice fast through the month.  But since the weatherman has revised our 2 week fore cast to stay below freezing the entire time with lows in the teens and single digits, I'm not sure I can face how cold I feel on just juice.  My house only stays about 50degrees when it's this cold and I have no hot water now (long story) so I have to heat up water in an electric pot to clean my juicer and jars.  We will be out of here by the end of the month but, of course, it will probably start to warm up by then.  And I've spent too many years waiting for the perfect conditions to do what I need to do.  So I WILL juice in February in spite of all the challenges I face.  But I will probably also have a bowl of veggie soup now and then when the cold gets to me.

I'm predicting that my weight will start with a 2 and a 6 by the end of the month.  Oh, I'm 278 today. I haven't seen a 260-something in about 8 years.  Maybe 10?  I know I got down into the 240s in 2000 when we lived near Grand Lake which was the lowest I'd been in many years at that point. I hadn't been below 220 since the 1980s.  And I hit the 260s I believe within a year or two of moving away from Grand Lake.  I know I was battling to get out of the 280s from '05 if not longer.  So even being in the 270s is a huge victory. For nearly 2 years I fought hard to lose the weight and get healthy but I didn't realize yet that the food I was eating was making that impossible.  When the doctor sent me to physical therapy in Spring '09, I had been fighting the 280s for a while already.  I found renewed hope in the progress I made with my physical therapist and started really trying to "eat right" according to conventional wisdom and I was working out like a BEAST.  When the PT maxed out on my insurance, she told me I should start swimming.  So I did.  I joined the Y and went swimming 3-5 times a week and was going upstairs and working out on the machines for 30 minutes 3-5 times a week as well.  In spite of all that work, I never got below 280.  I got in good enough shape to go to work again which was awesome.  Started doing cell-phone tech support.  I fought my way through the MG flareups and the increasing pain in my back, hips and legs.  In February of 2012, my truck broke down and I walked the mile and a half to work when I couldn't find a ride.  The walk home was all uphill and was killer on my pain areas.  I could only take that for so long and had to quit my job.  I was having more and more MG flareups and the pain in my back and hips was getting unbearable.  There were times I couldn't stand in the mornings until pain relievers took effect.  Those times became more and more frequent until that was my everyday condition.  In early 2013, I had already been diagnosed with high blood pressure and hypothyroid and was on medications for those.   The doctor convinced me to go back on blood thinners to postpone the amputation of my bad leg as long as possible.  I was giving up.  I figured I had hit my wall and my good years were past.  When I was diagnosed with Paget's and told that the combination of the location of the bone disease and my weight, which by this time was about 320, the bones in my pelvis and hips were becoming deformed, I was trying hard to accept that a wheelchair was in my near future.  That was about a year ago.  I put on another 20 pounds to top out just over 340, became seriously depressed and just gave up on life.  Last summer, I had become so weak and in such constant pain that I rarely left my bedroom.  I began having symptoms of congestive heart failure.  That's when I decided to stop fighting and just die.
So that brings us up to where I started this blog.  I saw "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" and "Forks Over Knives" and decided to live.  And in 5 months, I've undone the damage from the last 5 years of rapid decline, gotten off of all medications.  And I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that the next year will undo more like 20 years worth of damage.
I turn 52 a week from tomorrow and I will hit that day feeling better than I have in years.  And I'll hit 53 feeling better than I have in decades.  I was planning to do another progress picture on my birthday in my new jeans just because it felt so amazing to be able to wear jeans again but... my new jeans are already too big!!  Maybe some size 20 jeans will be my birthday gift to myself;o)  I started out in a 28 so that isn't too shabby.  But I won't buy any if I can't find them discounted because I know I won't be able to wear them for long.  Now that is my kinda dilemma.
JUICE ON!!  PLANT-STRONG FOREVER!

If You Are Juice FASTING, Then, for Heaven's Sake FAST!

Okay, I'm gonna rant a bit so prepare yourself.  And remember that this rant applies to the old Natshell as much as to anyone else.
I have heard SO many people say, "I don't like vegatables."  And I've even heard quite a few say, "I don't like water."  Let's be clear here.  What you are saying is that you have become so addicted to artificial crap posing as food and drink that your body has forgotten what it really needs.  That, in my humble opinion, is the best and most important function of a juice fast.  It gives your body the chance to get out from under that addiction and remember what it really, biologically, needs so that it will start telling you that this is what it wants again.
Those of us who have been through some juice fasting tell newcomers not to worry because their taste buds will change.  It's truth.  The same is true of the water.  There are some people who try to baby people along and tell them to do whatever is easiest for them.  "Just drink tea or flavored water." "Don't worry about giving up your coffee if that is too hard for you."  "I'm sure a diet soda once in a while won't be the end of the world, at least you'll be getting some healthy juice too...."  I tell people similar things sometimes when I sense that they are really not mentally prepared to deal with their addictions.  But here is my honest to goodness bottom line.  Here is where what Natalie really believes departs from what kind Natalie isn't going to push on others.  When I'm in a public forum, I am pretty good at feeling out where someone is mentally and emotionally and I don't generally push.  I'm not God and I'm not the world's leading juicing expert so I encourage people to find their own path and make their chosen path work for them.  Here's the not-so-kind truth why I say and act that way.  Everyone out there has the same resources I had to find the truth.  Everyone has the same responsibility to themselves to find it.  And everyone out there has to live with their choices.  Meanwhile, here on MY blog, I can be blunt about what I've learned and about what I believe without worrying about hurting anyone's tender feelers. So, are you prepared now?  This isn't the Natshell you are used to....
SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP.  JUST DRINK THE JUICE AND THE WATER.  Your body was not designed to crave coffee or that poison crap called soda.  It was designed to NEED and CRAVE pure water to survive!  Your body wasn't designed to crave a cheeseburger.  It was designed to crave plants.  Give it a chance.  Give it a tiny little chance to get out from under all the addictive S.H.I.T. that our illustrious scientists have created to cause it to crave those things and you will be ASTOUNDED by how fast it will switch to doing what it was designed to do.
In case there is anyone out there who hasn't yet come to accept that the food industry intentionally hooks us on unhealthy crap, don't take my word for it:

You haven't been able to "eat in moderation" or use "portion control" any more than a crack addict can "control" himself with crack.  It's addictive.  And if you don't believe the higher ups at the food giants know this and use it to sell more more more, then  you are too naive to waste my time on.  So with you, I'll be gentle and kind in another place and time.  For now, those of you who can handle the truth, suck it up, recognize you are being used and abused and do what you would tell any alcohol or drug addict to do.  Step away from the crap that is hurting you.  Replace it with what can make you healthy and strong.  If you don't "enjoy" it in the beginning, just "take your medicine" and have faith.  You will come to enjoy it.  You will come to crave it as the life-giving substance that it is.  Your body knows.  Once you clear out the crap, you can trust your body to tell you what it needs.
Let's not forget that sometimes old, sick tapes can still play in our heads and tell us that we "deserve" to "enjoy" the junk that Barbie and Ken are having at the family picnic.  After all, look how sexy they look!  Just remind yourself that what you really deserve is health, freedom from disease, depression and obesity.  What you really deserve is to live into your 90s with vigor and purpose.  And it doesn't hurt to remind yourself that you can "enjoy" things that don't hurt you!  Do I feel deprived when I'm having a vegan, raw chocolate brownie at the party while others are having TollHouse cookies?  Hell no!  I'm getting the great hormonal boost of the raw chocolate without the heaping dose of poison on the side!  Thanks anyway;o)  And it doesn't hurt to remind yourself that in 40 or 50 years, Barbie and Ken will probably either be pushing up daisies or toodling around a nursing home with their walkers while you are doing 5ks or (if you are me) trail riding with your grandkids.
One more little bitty rant and I'll return you to your regularly scheduled easy-going Natshell. Promise.  When you are on a juice fast.  FAST on JUICE.  "Is it okay to add a bit of meat so I'll get enough protein?" No.  "Is it okay to take a bunch of chemical pain relievers because I have a headache?" No.  "Is it okay to have my coffee in the morning since it's liquid?" NO!  Go ahead and do those things if you want.  But DON'T call it a JUICE.... FAST!  Caffeine, meat and chemicals are some of the precise things your body is having to try to recover from in detox!!!!  If you are still using those things, or having a super healthy weight watchers frozen dessert to keep from feeling "deprived" or having "just a bite" of the kids mac and cheese, you aren't juice fasting.  You are giving your body some great nutrition.  You are giving your body a chance to battle the effects of those toxins.  Giving your body a fighting chance is a good thing.  But it isn't a juice fast.
(Big sigh.)  I feel better now.
Oh and, for those who care to know, I'm juicing February starting the minute the Superbowl ends.  I have my healthy snacks and my salad and I am READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!  Go Broncos!!!!
Oh and my birthday is Feb 11 so I will be having a super yummy, satisfying and indulgent vegan healthy meal on that day.  Is that a "planned cheat?"  NO!  It's a planned healthy meal.  I DON'T CHEAT!
Okay, NOW I feel better.  Let's just say that some Dysfunctional Eating Societies posing as juicing support groups are making me a bit cray cray.  But I'm aaaaallll better now;o)

JUICE ON!!

JANUARY JUICE AND CHEW DAY 10

So with the van broke down, it was late evening before we got any groceries.  We usually get our groceries on Thursday afternoon so we were out of just about everything!  No greens!  No carrots!  No oranges or lemons!  It was pretty crazy so  I didn't have any juice today:'(  I did take my water way up.  I was a bit constipated for the first time since I started this whole thing and I realized that with the cold weather I was literally, even with herbal tea, only getting about 20oz of water each day.  No bueno.  I ended up just doing a lot of snacking and water drinking today.  We'll see how that plays out on the scale tomorrow and the next day (I don't believe results of what we eat today always show up immediately.)  So without further ado...

Weigh-in this morning 280.6
76oz water
Large salad
Grapefruit
3 tangerines
1 banana
Quinoa with red peppers and spinach - 1.5 cups
Small apple
1 oz raisins
1 cup popcorn

I suspect my calories were low today.  That definitely might slow me down a bit but maybe with the increased water I'll be okay.  Anyway, I feel like my body felt sufficiently nourished.  As I said, it was just a lot of snacking.  I prefer when I divide my eating into some semblance of meals but I'm not really concerned.  I have a lot on my non-food "plate" right now and I'm keeping it healthy, which is the bottom line.  But I have to say I really can't wait to get up in the morning and get my juice on:)  Speaking of which, JUICE ON!!

January Juice and Chew Day 9

Day 9
4 pints juice
3 tangerines
1 banana
1 boiled egg
1 large baked potato with Mrs. Dash

I'm a little overwhelmed by my non-food related life today so I'm going to leave it at that for today.
JUICE ON!!  Everything is better with juice!  Even all the sh** the world throws at you.

JANUARY JUICE AND CHEW DAY 8 Or The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

So, not juice fast day 2 and not day 1 again.  I'm postponing my hardcore juice fast for a week or two.  Hubby isn't snowed in anymore but his truck broke down so now they have him put up in a motel in Indiana while he waits his turn for the shop to fix his truck.  Around 200 other guys are waiting for the same thing.  Some new fuel they have made him use in the truck gels up when it gets too cold.  Yup, trucks broke down all over the North half of the country.  Him not moving for a week means my grocery budget will be VERY tight.  Also, when the pipes thawed out, there was a burst pipe in the bathroom.  Long story but it won't be fixed for at least a few days so we have the water to the house shut off.  Not shut-off valve in the bathroom - retarded right?  See why I'm moving?  So clean up will be challenging this week too.  So we'll just go ahead and do what I've already been doing since the 1st.  It's cool.  I'm feeling very zen about it.  The facebook group I LOVE,  Reach4Raw, is doing a 90 day juice and chew challenge so I'm just travelling along with my rawfriends there:)  I'm eating healthy, drinking juice and losing weight so it's all good.

J&C Day 8
Weigh in - 281.8
3 pints juice
3 tangerines
1 LARGE salad with greens, tomatos, mushrooms, green onions, cucumber, sprinkle of sunflower seeds and light balsamic.
I did a 20 minute Sparkpeople resistance band video and discovered that my right leg is still very much weaker than the left.  It wasn't as bad after I finished physical therapy but over the last 3 years being so horrible health wise, it has gotten really weak again.  (I had a massive blood clot in that leg that damaged the veins and also the right knee is the one that is trashed.)  So I have a goal now to rehab my right leg.  I finished the video but was not able to do all reps on the right leg and my form sucked!  So room for improvement:)

On a personal note, I was really excited when Kitten the Juice Pirate joined my group on rebootwithjoe.  She is SUCH a huge inspiration for me and one of the first examples of what you could do with this lifestyle.  I posted on Reach4Raw about this and got lots of great responses but I was so touched I can't even tell you when my friend Taffy said that I was her Kitten the Juice Pirate.  That I was to her what Kitten was to me.  Wow.  I am floored.  The day before, I posted my progress picture and had a few people say that seeing that gave them the inspiration to get on with it and start juicing and eating raw!  Me!!  Inspiring people!!!  On top of all the really stressful stuff that was going on I have to confess I shed a tear or two.  But we'll just say that was emotional detox and keep that between you and me okay?

JUICE ON!!

Winter 2014 Juice Fast Day 1

First off, I have to start by saying my heart goes out to those affected by this insane cold front that has blanketed the nation.  Many areas are getting down in the 30 below area!!  Here in Oklahoma it was in the single digits most of the time for the last two days.  Windchill last time I checked yesterday during the day was around negative 12 degrees.  My main source of heat is out so we have portable electric radiator style heaters.  They do all right when it is in the 20s or 30s but single digits are too much for them.  It was 35deg in my house when I went to bed last night.  It is supposed to get up in the 40s and 50s for the rest of the foreseeable forecast so we're fine here.  But so much of the country is just frozen. My husband is snowed in at a truck stop in Gary, Indiana.  And this cold is apparently hard on heating systems because my daughter and several friends have reported their heat going out.  However, my main thoughts and prayers at a time like this are for the homeless.  The shelters are just woefully inadequate, at least around here.  I feel bad because I didn't take any hats and scarves to the shelters this year at all.  The last couple of winters have been so mild it sort of fell off my radar.  So my knitting challenge for the duration of my juice fast is going to switch to just making as many hats as I can, both adult and infant, as well as scarves and glittens.  If they report another cold front headed for us, I'll take them to John 3:16 shelter.  If not, I'll send them to the reservation.  (To make the time pass faster during my juice fast, I'm knitting for charity.  When I set myself a knitting deadline, the time always flies by.)

Now, my report for Monday.  I have to report on the previous day, obviously, since I can't know for certain what all I will do today!  So, weight will be current mornings weight.  Food will be from the previous day.  Got that?  So tomorrow will read "Day 1 - Again"

MONDAY, 6 Jan 2014
Weigh in: 282.3
Juice: 3 pints
Liquids: 16oz water, 16oz broth from cabbage soup with pepper
Food: 1 banana, 3 tangerines, 1 baked potato with salsa

Detox symptoms: Yes!  My eyes are all gummy and I have a headache and some nausea.  Someone just asked me yesterday if I experienced nausea last time and I said, "No, not really."  And then in the wee hours of this morning, bam.  Nothing too unbearable, but not all that pleasant either.  I also feel pretty upbeat and cheerful from some fool reason.  But I do feel like the glitches on the reboot website are maybe more than I can handle right now without ripping someone's head off so I'll wait a while to log in.

And, by the way, it is up to 40 degrees inside my house!  Whoopee!  I am planning to also include any workouts I get in on these posts but I didn't do any yesterday.  Maybe today or tomorrow at the latest it will be warm enough for me to take off some layers (ha! I typed lawyers at first - I'll take off some lawyers) and work out with my resistance band:)

Stay warm everyone.  And pray for those who can't.

Progress Pic As Promised

Okay, so this is not exactly earth shattering but there is a difference.  Pic on the left is August 23rd, 2013 at 340.  Pic on the right is January 2nd, 2014 (that's 4 months and 10 days) at 287.

I was going to try to use the same clothes but it was too freaking cold!  It was hard enough to take off my jacket for this one.  and the next one probably won't even be able to be in the same spot since we are moving soon. (Thank God!)  The only measurement I'm going to share right now because I am being lazy, is that my waist went from 52" to 45" so far but trust me, my hips, legs and upper arms are all smaller too.  Now... bring on the next 50!  Now THAT will be a progress pic!!

So for my daily update that really will hopefully become daily:/  Friday and Saturday, I had a couple juices along with a couple pieces of fruit and a big ol' salad.  Today, I'm having more juice, less fruit and a veggie soup that I'm mostly just taking the broth off of.  It has herbs and spices, very little salt, cabbage, mushrooms, squash, green beans and a few stray carrots.  It's yummy:)  I plan to scoop out the veggies and put them in the blender for a cream soup for the girls and I'll set back the broth for me.

Weight this morning 284.
Exercise - 0 (I usually don't exercise on Sunday.)

JUICE WITH ME!!

Welcome 2014!

This is the first time I can ever remember being happy on New Years.  Usually New Years, like my birthday, is an occasion for me to try very very hard not to fall into a terrible depression; or at least to not let it show to my family.  People talking about their New Year's resolutions just reminded me that I had let yet another year go by without doing anything to change the dismal direction of my life.  Thank God for Joe Cross and his movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and for all the other wise and wonderful people and resources that it led me to.  Dr. T Colin Campbell and Dr. Esselstyn among others.  Today I can honestly post this on facebook and mean it!  (As I, in fact, did;o)

That pretty much sums up how I feel about New Years.  I lost 54 lbs during the last 18 weeks of 2013.  And I have every expectation that I will lose double that during 2014.  That will put me at the weight I graduated high school in 1980.  I don't know what my final ideal weight will be but I know that will be an unbelievable victory and that I will be in radiant good health.  I have reclaimed my dreams and plans.  I think of 2013 as the year I came back to life.  If you read my blog, you know that this is not hyperbole.  Now here is how I think of 2014:

I am not one for big, involved New Year's resolutions but I have made some plans for the new year.  I eat a clean, healthy diet but I am still growing and learning in this lifestyle.  I am not fully raw, just high raw and I am not even 100% vegan.  For now, this is cool with me.  Maybe I'll "evolve" beyond this and maybe I won't.  But I really do feel a need to both track my food for my own benefit and to be accountable.  So I plan to start posting here daily instead of randomly.  I may frequently only post what I ate and what specific exercises I did but there will be something every day unless my computer or ISP goes down.  I'll also post my weight every Friday.  And everyone has been after me to do progress photos since I've lost over 50lbs now but trust me, since I started at 340, 50lbs isn't a dramatic change to the naked eye.  But I'll do them. I'll try to do them and post them tomorrow.  And I will post progress pics every 50 bs or every 4 months, whichever comes first or seems to make more sense at the time.

And, for the record, I am starting another juice fast Friday.  I will go to the store tomorrow for supplies and start juice only the next day.  I am committing to 30 days of nothing but juice. Period.  After the 30 days, I'll decide on a weekly basis.  I'm hoping to go 90 days.  I may end up having a one day a week salad and I will be having a special, healthy, vegan meal at a great restaurant for my birthday on February 11th but hopefully I can do 90 days other than those exceptions.  I have no problem with making up my own rules about my juice fast as I have nothing to prove to myself this time.  I am just pushing for as much health and weight loss as I can possible get in the next three months.  I have things to do and horses to ride come this summer so we got to get this party started!!  

Hopefully, my third long juice fast will be late this summer when I have a garden of my own to harvest and I'll be juicing as fresh and organic as it gets.  Yeah babay!  JUICE ON my friends!  2014 is Going. To. ROCK!!

But But But... Tough Love

Nota Bene: if you don't like reading long blogs, cut to the last paragraph. That's the long and the short of it.

Okay, lets start by getting the provisos out of the way.  First, I am addressing people like me.  People who are morbidly obese with multiple serious health problems that are connected to that obesity and have decided to address the problem with a whole food/plant based diet.  Many of us watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and also incorporate juicing into our quest for healthy bodies.
Second, I am NOT addressing people who truly, literally do not have control over their own environment.  It's not all that common and you need to really look at whether or not that is true and not just a cop-out.  But if you really are not in control of your home environment then stop reading or understand that I'm not really speaking to you.  Work environment is much more commonly out of our control but not nearly as critical either.

Another group I really can't address in this post is a large one.  In my interactions with people seeking better health and/or weight loss, I see many, many more come and go than those who stay. Most people just aren't ready.  They just haven't hit their own, personal, rock bottom yet.  When it becomes uncomfortable they make a beeline for the mac and cheese muttering, "I can do it with portion control and working out like Jillian Michaels.  I don't need no stinkin' vegetables."  Cuz, that has worked out so well for them in the past:/   Heaven knows there is plenty of propaganda out there to feed their desire to choose an "easier" path or to even just continue on the one that is killing them.  Everyone likes to hear good news about their bad choices so when the media spouts off crap about how we really have to eat dead animals or how chocolate is a health food, it's easy to grab onto that. Anyway, that's another soapbox entirely.

Right now, I want to address people like me.  You're obese and unhealthy and truly committed to changing that.  You have come to believe that a WFPB lifestyle is the best medicine out there.  You are making changes and seeing progress.... and this is where SO  many insert a "but."

But... it's the holidays.
But... my family is visiting.
But... my girlfriend doesn't want to give up chips and ranch dip so it's there in the cabinet taunting me.
But... I still need to fix cookies for my kids or I'm a bad mom.
But... my husband deserves fried chicken because he works so hard.
But... I have to go out to dinner with clients a lot.
But... nobody wants to see a veggie tray at the party.

When people who are just as sick and fat as I am/was say things like this, I want to ask them just how important this is to them.  For me, it was literally life or death.  If you've read my early blogs you know I don't exaggerate.  So many people describe situations just as dire, nearly as dire or even more dire than mine was and then turn around and say, "Oh I have to fry chicken and bake cookies."

I believe we need to look at two things when we find ourselves letting these "buts" interfere with our best intentions.  First, how important is this to ME and second, how important am I to the people around me.  How much can I reasonably expect from those nearest and dearest to me.  Here is where I start to sound harsh but bear with me.  I know that I am lucky.  Blessed actually.  I didn't know how my family would handle it but, to be honest, my family is a matriarchy.  My hubby is a truck driver and I'm a bossy, independent type chick so it works for us. In other words, I worried I would meet opposition but I.  Didn't. Care.  Once I knew that I had finally found the answer, I knew that I would follow through with it whether they liked it or not.  I have kids from 17-32 and I wanted to influence them but I can't control them so I figured I would do what I had to do for me, require of them what I needed and leave their own bodies to them.  I have been absolutely astounded how readily my family has not only embraced and supported my needs but followed my example.  I have not exactly been a shining example to them in the physical/health department so they had every reason to shrug this off as "Mom's latest attempt" but they recognized something in the way I talked about it and in the evidence I presented and they have been on board 100% from day 1.  I have NOT, however, been all that surprised that they had no problem with all the junk food and processed foods going bye-bye.  If I told them I had developed a deadly allergy to cotton that was leaching away my health and energy, they would be right in there helping me find all the hidden cotton in our house.  Because they love me!  I would have expected nothing less.  If you can't depend on your family to support you in your own fight for your very life, then what is wrong with that picture?!

So what if your family isn't on board?  Get tough! It's your health people!  In many cases it is how long you will be around for them and it is definitely how you will feel and function during that time.  Sit them down and watch Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and, even better, Forks Over Knives.  Tell them that you want to look better, feel better and be around to annoy them in your old age!  Say flat out, if you love and value ME, you will support me.

I don't want this to be too long for anyone to get through so I'll cut this part short.  If you have grownups who don't have the issues you have, look at two things.  Do they actually need or benefit from the foods that were making you fat and sick?  Does it really make you a bad mom/wife to refuse to prepare foods that contribute to diabetes, obesity, cancer, heart disease?  So Susie isn't overweight? Yet?  Most of us were thin at some point.  The groundwork was laid while we appeared to be healthy.  If they are healthy and fit, let's keep them that way!  And if the hubby really has to have something like fried chicken or chips and dip, they are adults, they can go through the drive through.  Same goes for adult children.  They have to decide for themselves.  But they should have enough concern and respect for you to support your effort to create a clean, healthy environment.

Here is my bottom line.  Yes, I realize it sounds pretty harsh.  If your family will not support your need to eliminate junk food and food that trashes your health from your home, then you have some deeper problems than weight.

And my other bottom line (hey, who says there is only one bottom line?) is that no matter how thin or fit your family appears to you, if you have discovered that certain foods are deadly, why would you continue to feed them to your family?  If you've come to understand that a high consumption of sugar, animal protien, saturated fats... whatever, creates terrible health problems over time, then tell me again why you are a bad mom if you don't give it to your kids?  You don't have to make the change completely overnight but I can't understand why you wouldn't start transitioning them to healthier and healthier foods.  That is what my daughter is doing with her boys.  I'll let ya'll know how that goes;o)  But, trust me, you aren't a "bad mom" if you refuse to feed a diet laden with sugar and salt and animal fat to your growing children.  Frankly, if the children are dictating what goes on the dinner table then we have a case of the inmates running the asylum.

Now about all those other "buts," if you have to eat out with clients, is it really going to make them lose respect for you in your professional capacity to eat a salad instead of a steak?  To leave the butter and cheese and bacon off of your baked potato?  If others at the party don't want a veggie tray... okay!  More freggies for you!!  And more of the junk they are scarfing for them.  If your family is visiting, visit some vegan chef websites and find some really impressive recipes to show them just how tasty your diet can be.  Sure, go ahead and fix PopPops favorite casserole but offer a couple of really yummy things they've never tried before with it!  It gives you some healthy options and shows them that you aren't starving yourself on rabbit food;o)

I really want to add one last note to those who have somewhat dysfunctional families.  You know who you are.  You read this and think, "Yeah, try telling my husband that.  He would start bringing home Kentucky Fried Chicken and eating it right in front of me while taunting me the entire time."   "Try telling my mom that this is healthy.  She is just as overweight as me but she would start bringing my favorite fattening treats over every weekend and telling my kids that I don't love her because I won't eat her thoughtful gifts."  Yes, some families are dysfunctional.  If these things are a problem, you probably know you have other issues besides food to deal with.  You, my friends have to advocate for yourself.  You have to love you.  You have to realize that a healthy you can work on your families dysfunction better if you are in a healthy body.  Especially since WFPB diets also make you think better and feel emotionally and mentally stronger.

Okay so THIS is actually my bottom line. (Yes, really! Why do you doubt me? LOL) Do what you need to do to get healthier. You count. YOU matter. Advocate for yourself, even with your own family, employers, clients. Unless you have some pretty extraordinary circumstances, clean up your environment. Your family won't die from lack of deep fat fried food. Require those who love you to show it. Become fierce about your own well-being. I know many people (myself included) who have spent November and December losing an extra 10 or 20 lbs while the average american gains 8 or 10. For the first time in many years, January 1st will be a time to celebrate all I've accomplished and plan for all I will accomplish in 2014. My only regret is that I didn't start way sooner in the year! I don't for one second regret skipping the pumpkin pie or sugar cookies.  And I don't regret refusing to contribute to the poor health choices of others either.

There Are No Magic Bullets, But There Are Miracles

Every time I find myself describing my journey to someone new, I realize just how much I sound like an infomercial or like I'm just caught up in the pink fluffy honeymoon cloud of a "new diet" but I've never in my life stuck to a diet for this long much less been in the "honeymoon" phase of it for several months and going strong.  This has most definitely settled into lifestyle mode.  

 So that begs the question, how can a simple change of diet create the incredible changes I've experienced.  Well, lets look at a few things.  First, getting the disgusting mess the local grocer passes off as meat and animal products that I was eating - hormones, puss in the milk etc - out of my body.  Just removing those has to help. If I had changed to homegrown, grass fed, lean cuts and healthy prep and still ate the meat, I would be better off but still not as good as just getting the animal protein out of my diet. (If you aren't following me here, read the China Study and/or watch Forks Over Knives.)  I'm 90% animal protein free.  I still eat a serving of fish 2 or 3 times a month, have a bit of organic chicken or turkey in the crockpot soup once or twice a month and I have an organic, cage-free, hormone free, preferably locally grown boiled egg a couple times a week.  I don't know if I will eventually eliminate those or not.  Even the China Study noted that the cancer growth and other bad effects weren't triggered with a low intake of animal protein.  So I'm good with this for now.  

 Next, let's note that my diet went from very near zero fresh fruit and veggies to a good 75% freggies.  That alone had to be a huge shock (of the good variety) to my system.  At this point, every system and cell in my body has to be singing for joy.  It's like, "Halleleujah! She's finally giving us something to work with!"  
Now let's add the fact that I juice and blend a lot of freggies and add really nutrient dense, natural additives like ground flax etc.  Now you are taking the great nutrients that your average healthy eater would consume in a day and putting all those nutrients into one serving.  You are literally just FLOODING your system with nutrients it's been deprived of for decades.  

 Our bodies are amazing self-healing machines but we take a machine that has the ability to repair itself and even regenerate on its own but we deny it the building blocks it require to do that.  And then we wonder why we fall apart.  So what do we do?  Instead of handing it those high-quality, sound and solid building blocks that God gave us in abundance, we give it man made imitations made of cardboard and chemicals.  And then we wonder why we fall apart!

 One last thing to consider that really just makes our body sing is that even when I was eating a salad or drinking juice before, it was made and packaged and stored and shipped and stored again before I ate it.  If I had ever gotten ground flax in something, it had probably lost most of it's nutritional value before it got to me.  Now, I grind my flax seeds, throw that into the soup or smoothie and consume it.  No nutrional loss there.  Again, tons more nutrients hitting my body than it is used to.  And next year is really going to take it up a notch as I will be able to just go to my own garden and pick the veggies as fresh as fresh gets:)

 So if I sound like a crazy infomercial sometimes; if it sounds crazy to say that I went from depressed, barely able to walk across a room, in constant pain and a mental fog every day of my life and then literally became pain free, regained my energy, improved health conditions dramatically, started losing weight at a steady pace and regained a much higher degree of mental clarity all within days of starting a juice fast and now I'm still feeling fantastic just as much after 4 months of a clean, plant-based diet, you can understand that I'm not promoting the latest fad or a magic bullet or even a "diet."  I'm just saying to eat the way God meant you to.  Eat the abundance of things he gave us to thrive on.  If that includes meat for you then at least make that a smaller ratio of your calories and make it fresh, untainted by a disgusting industry and prepare it in a healthy way.  
 It's not a miracle... and yet it is the biggest miracle of all.  How miraculous that those plants include all those crazy nutrients that really can heal, regrow, vitalize and maximize the potential of every cell in your body.  The things your doctor throws his hands in the air over and just writes another script for?  Your creator gave you the cure.  When the few doctors who have actually studied the topic of healing through nutrition say, "Sure, a plant based diet would help my patients but they won't follow it so I just give them a pill instead."  You can shout, "I'll do it!  I'll heal myself with nutrition!"  Maybe more doctors will seek out that information and share it with their other patients if they have patients coming in with dramatic improvements and telling them, "I don't need those pills, doc.  I stopped taking those months ago."  I am praying that by the time my grandkids are grown, they will defy all those predictions about the newest generation of children dying younger than their parents did. 

The Real Thanksgiving

So for those of us trying to live a healthier life and lose weight and regain vibrant health, Thanksgiving can represent a challenge.  I must have been asked at least 85 times in the past week how I would "handle" it and even asked for advice about how best to handle it for others.  That's new.  I still haven't gotten used to having other people act as if my opinion on topics of health and weight loss really matters.  LOL  Everyone really has to decide for themselves.  Some people have complicated family situations to consider and I would never presume to get in the middle of that!  But, as usual, my real, deep down feeling is that family should value your health and well-being enough to make some concessions or even (gasp) just support what you are trying to do.  I can't imagine not having a family that supports me like that.  And that is probably what I'm thankful for this year most of all.  My husband is one in a million.  He supports me through all things.  He epitomizes "in sickness and in health" and "for better or for worse."  My kids and grandkids bless every day of my life and don't hesitate to do anything in their power to support my efforts.  So how did I "handle" the challenge of Thanksgiving?  

​I have had a great Thanksgiving with my two teenagers.  I am so proud of them.  I told them that if not having pie or rolls or something was going to make them feel deprived or like this lifestyle was too hard, I would get them some.  They both said NO!  And Harmoni (17 year old) said, "The main thing I'm most thankful for this year is how happy you are just living every day now." My hubby is on the road but we are used to that.  We have a nice meal when he gets home and we don't celebrate Christmas until Epiphany so that he can be home.  I told my grown kids that since Thanksgiving meal was going to be turned on it's ear that they should probably just spend it with their inlaws.  I hope to be so used to this lifestyle by next year that I will make them a feast to remember that I won't hesitate to eat as well.  I'll be spending some time with my oldest daughter and that new baby boy next week and I'm definitely thankful for that!  I'm really thankful that all three of my grown kids have found really amazing and wonderful people to share their lives with.  Both son-in-laws and my daughter-in-law are really awesome.  I honestly couldn't have chosen better for them myself.  I have NINE beautiful, healthy, intelligent grandchildren.  God has blessed me beyond measure.

Thanksgiving was really my Mom's holiday as she was an amazing cook in the old-school Southern cooking style.  I see her in my daughter Cheyenne.  I always miss her so much on this day but part of me is glad she isn't here to see what terrible condition I have let myself get into.  At least I have felt that way every Thanksgiving until this one.  I know that she would be so proud of the changes I've made, the things I've learned and the rest of the family for their unwavering support.  A few weeks ago when people first started talking about Thanksgiving, my first thought was, "Oh no! Mom's stuffing and apple pan dowdy and heavenly hash!"  Fixing her recipes always made us all feel closer to her.  We knew that she was there with us in spirit.  Well, the day came and we ate our small serving of roast turkey and roasted veggies and lots of fruit.  We even had a special treat that Cameron brought us; gluten free, dairy free cookies!  I do NOT feel like I missed a thing.  Rather, I feel more thankful and more blessed than I have in many years.  And that, my friends, is what Thanksgiving is about, not turkey or pie or cornbread dressing.  

Three Types of People You Meet in Juicing Communities

I have watched all the youtube videos and read all the blogs I could find by and about people who lose weight juice fasting and/or a whole food/plant-based diet/high raw diet etc. Yes. A lot of people do regain the weight but the ones who have the courage to come back and tell you what went on will tell you exactly why. (Check out Steve Crider's latest videos STEVE CRIDER YOUTUBE CHANNEL- love that guy because he is honest and never gives up!) They regained the weight because they went back to eating whatever they used to eat that made them fat in the first place.  If you do what you've always done, you will end up where you've always been. I read and watched and researched and read some more.  I saw that many people regain the weight with juicing and WFPB diets just as they do with WW, Atkins, South Beach and Weight-loss surgery.  I took all that in and used it to motivate me to really research and plan so that when I was finished with my first actual juice fast, I would have a solid plan in place for what I was going to eat for the rest of my life to continue to lose weight and eventually maintain a healthy weight, feel great, live an active and joyful life and love my food all at the same time. And I have. I NEVER would have believed that I would love eating like this and I sure as heck never thought I would LOVE eating like this. I grew up a country girl. We raised our own beef, chickens, and pork. I showed livestock in the shows and went hunting with my dad. Vegans and vegetarians were extremist nutcases. (Note - Personally, I still think PETA is nuttier than fruitcake.) Well, call me nutty because I am now very near vegan and I LOVE what I eat every single day. And my two teenagers have gone along for the ride and are losing weight as well and they love the food too! And my 19 year old was one of those kids who never touched a veggie other than a tomato or canned corn EVER before we started this. (No! I'm NOT counting french fries.  That is a fat, not a veggie, in  my book.)

Here's the thing. I really believe there are three types of people around juice fasting communities. Those who think they want this, try it and, within days or maybe a couple of weeks at most, decide it is too hard. Even though detox has been explained to them, they may become certain that juice is making them sick.  They drop out and are never heard from again.  Then there are those who throw themselves into it and white knuckle their way through a nice long juice only fast while counting the days til they can once again hit the Burger King drive through or pat themselves on the back for having more veggies on their pizza than they used to. They lose a ton of weight and then promptly gain it all back. It is absolutely true and can't be repeated often enough; If you do what you've always done, you end up where you've always been. One hundred percent accurate!  Funny how that works:/  

Then there are those who use the time on juice fast to allow the process to fundamentally change them. If you are one of these people, you come to realize that this doesn't just change what you are doing for a few days or weeks or even months; it changes everything. It is physical, mental and emotional. You discover things about yourself that you didn't know before including inner reserves of strength. You educate yourself. You discover that your weight gain had nothing to do with lack of willpower and that you've been duped by a huge industry into becoming addicted to things that harm you in order to make them richer. You get pissed and You. Change. Everything. And you love it! Free of all the salt and sugar and chemicals, your taste buds come back to life! You rediscover that the foods given us by our creator actually are wonderful to the taste without all the chemicals and that foods that aren't over-processed and overcooked and genetically modified taste better and sustain our bodies the way they were intended to be. You relearn what healthy feels like. You rediscover having energy to burn.  You realize the miraculous thing that the human body really is!  It begins to heal itself!  I have a number of friends who have gotten off of blood pressure medication just as I have and off of asthma meds and acid reflux meds like my daughter has and even off of INSULIN!  The body can and will heal and regenerate itself if you flood it with all the nutrients it needs.

I'm NOT saying everyone has to give up meat or dairy or gluten as I did. But it is certainly wise to very cautiously add those substances back in and pay attention to the effect on your body.  Most of the ones I know who are still losing or maintaining after a long period of time have definitely made whole-food/plant based foods the center of their diet. And I literally do not know one who has maintained while still eating a processed, junk-food based diet. I really, really recommend you check out Dan Miller's web page here: DAN MILLER WEB PAGE  or go to DAN MILLER JUICING & PLANT-BASED FOOD  and look over his discussion thread there.  I'm in there as Natshell:) Dan has been at this a long time and has more knowledge and information available on this topic (not to mention succes at losing and maintaining for a long period) than anyone else I know of and he is great at answering questions.

I assume most people who find my blog have already watched Fat Sick and Nearly Dead but if you haven't, do so!  I also strongly recommend anyone who hasn't already, please watch Forks Over Knives. If you are a reader, read The China Study, The Pleasure Trap, Wheat Belly and Clean. Check out youtube videos and websites by Dr. McDougall, Dr Fuhrman, Dr Esselstyn and Rip Esselstyn, Douglas Lisle and Robert Lustig. Let one discovery lead to another. Make it your business and your top priority to discover what food/long-term diet will best serve your weight and your health once you aren't juice fasting anymore. Shouldn't your health and well-being be a top priority?  Lots of people do regain weight after juice fasting. But YOU don't have to be one of them.