DIABETES IS A CHOICE AND I CHOOSE TO SAY NO

I've been watching a series of documentaries this week called iThrive.  It's about the pandemic of diabetes that is currently happening in our world and what can be done about it.  It features all the experts that I trust and follow as well as a few that I find shady and a couple that I find truly misleading.  There was literally nothing in this that I hadn't heard before but I DON'T mean that as a criticism of this series and I DO recommend watching it if you get a chance, especially if you aren't aware that diabetes is a choice and can be reversed most of the time.  The doctors who treat diabetes 2 patients with a WFPB, SOS free diet improve their numbers and reduce medication every time and completely reverse it most of the time if the patient is totally compliant.  
(*WFPB - whole-food, plant-based; SOS no salt, oil or refined  sugars)

It's always hard for me to hear the data on diabetes because, in my mind, it is pretty much criminal how many people are left to suffer and die horrible deaths from diabetes when it is completely reversible if caught early, can be greatly improved if not reversed at any time and it is affecting millions more people every year.  It is one of the leading causes of death in this country and many others.  And, while it used to be a disease of the elderly and pretty rare when I was a kid in the 60s and 70s, it is as common as dirt now and rapidly becoming a disease that affects little children far too often.  But mostly, it hurts to watch a series like this one because I watched my sweet Mama become blind, crippled with neuropathy, go on dialysis for the last 14 years of her life (unusual really for someone to last as long as she did after going on dialysis) and eventually die at the age of 68 looking and feeling more like 98 from this terrible disease.

Mama was a nurse and a very determined woman who had overcome alcohol addiction, given up cigarettes cold turkey after 30 years of a pack and a half a day, went back to college at 48 after her first heart attack and graduated Magna Cum Laude even though her previous education only consisted of completing 8th grade and vocational school.  This is a woman who followed her doctors' orders.  If she had been told that changing to a diet of mostly fruits and veggies could reverse her diabetes, I promise you she would have done it.  She actually loved vegetables and grew a huge garden when we had enough space.  She would eat an onion just like an apple and snacked on the raw veggies as she was chopping them up for dinner. And I'm telling you, the woman could have happily lived on potatoes.  She could have been a STAR McDougaller.  Unfortunately, she was also a Southern woman who learned to cook in Texas.  She was chopping those veggies to smother them in butter and/or cheese and to be a side dish to a big slab of meat.  EVERYTHING was either deep fat fried or smothered in sauce, cheese or butter.  She could make scratch biscuits and sausage gravy in her sleep.

Diabetes is definitely one of the things I always "knew" I would end up with.  It is rampant in our family.  My brother David is suffering with it now.  One of the people in the documentary, sorry I can't remember who it was, said that you can't save the people closest to you and boy is that true and SO frustrating!  My brother won't listen to me.  He is one of the tough guy, "we all gotta die sometime" types who would rather enjoy his food than good health.  And that is exactly how it is!  Diabetes is a choice most all of the time.  (Please note that I am only speaking of type 2 diabetes.  Type 1 can also be improved with this lifestyle but isn't AS reversible as type 2 and the causes of type 1 are not as clear.)  It is incomprehensible to me that anyone would literally choose certain foods over good health once the information is made available to them and I tend to think they just aren't allowing themselves to believe it so that they can justify to themselves continuing with that behavior. Plus, they don't seem to acknowledge that they are not only choosing an earlier death but also suffering a great deal more while they live.  But that is a whole 'nother blog.  I'm getting off on a tangent, which I definitely tend to do when the subject of diabetes is raised.   Anyway... I always knew that I would end up with diabetes.  After all, I was told over and over that I had the genes for it and because I was obese, I was at even higher risk for it.  Doctors told me numerous times that I was "showing signs" of being pre-diabetic and were amazed with each of my 5 pregnancies that I did not test positive for gestational diabetes since I was obese, genetically predisposed and had really large babies.  I spent my life feeling like a ticking time bomb.  But I now know that I never have to suffer my mom's fate.  I can choose differently.  Genes can be expressed or turned off with lifestyle and food choices.  My family history is not my fate.

So watching this series was hard for me.  But it was also really, really good for me.  It was another kick in the keester to get myself back on track.  I have been feeling more and more strongly that I need to do a juice fast, possibly interspersed with a bit of water fasting to get myself back on the path to weight loss and excellent health.  I have, as I have mentioned previously, gotten off track.  Fast food and processed food has once again begun to represent a large proportion of my intake.  And lately, I have even started giving in to cravings for totally non-compliant foods.  I've had actual binges with increasing regularity and I'm too ashamed to admit what my weight is up to at this point.  I'm not back to my heaviest and I'd like to keep it that way.  It's time.  NOW.  Today.  I haven't eaten anything yet today and I am ready to get this party started again.  Today is a blank slate waiting for me to write upon it.  I must choose to write "health" or "harm."  I remember how incredibly well I felt when I was 100% WFPB.  I remember how much energy I had.  I remember how clear my mind was.  I remember how great it felt to walk long distances or work out and feel my body responding like a body is supposed to!  I have to remember those things because they are not true today.  But TODAY I change that.  So thank you Jon (the fellow who made the iThrive documentaries) for a much needed reminder that I didn't "fix" my problems forever by eating right for a couple of years.  I have to give myself the highest possibility possible for excellent health and avoiding the darker side of my genes every single day.  I can still develop the heart disease, diabetes, and cancer that are lurking in my genes if I don't choose to disable those genes every single day.

REWARDS AND PUNISHMENT

One thing I have known for a long time on an intellectual level but that I recently felt slip into my working reality is that each time I feed myself, I am choosing whether to punish or reward myself.  I ate some donuts yesterday.  I haven't eaten donuts in years and they were in my home (VERY rare occurrence) and I thought, it's been years - literally years.  I can have a treat.  But was that a treat? NO!  It was a punishment!  I harmed myself!  You don't reward yourself by harming yourself.  I KNEW I was harming myself.  I know too much now to fall for the old, "just this once, I deserve a treat now and then" bullshit.  I DESERVE to lose this weight and feel vibrant, energetic and healthy.  I DESERVE to enjoy my life with little fear of heart disease, diabetes or other diseases causing me to lose my quality of life.  I DESERVE to give myself every opportunity to be around to see my amazing grandsons grow into amazing men, fall in love, become husbands and fathers if they choose to and to make the world a better place.  In the big picture, who the hell cares about the mouthfeel of a donut?!  But I ate the damn thing because I have slipped more and more over the last 2 years into addictive thinking.  I dwell on fears and worries, I obsess over food continually.  There is rarely an hour in the day when I am not thinking about what I could "get away with" eating.  I've redeveloped the habit of hitting a drive-through or buying something at the deli every time I go out!  "Well, at least it's just a bean burrito."  "Well, this horrible meal won't do as much harm if I don't eat anything else all day."  Bitch please!  I  have slipped backwards a lot more than I ever thought I could and it is time I acknowledged that fact.  It is also time I recognize and deal with the food addict aspect of my problems.  I honestly wish I could afford to enroll in Chef AJ's Ultimate Weight Loss program but she generously shares a lot of information and support for free so I'll be taking advantage of that.  I know from experience that I cope better if I jump straight into the deep end rather than inching in toe first so... this is me, jumping into the deep end again.  Today, smoothies and salads and veggie soup.  The plan is to do that until Friday or Saturday.  And then to juice fast or water fast throughout the rest of March.  I won't use budget as an excuse to quit.  If I can't afford produce to juice then I will simply water fast.  That is free.  This is the best way I know to reset my taste buds and get the addictive crap out of my system and reboot my enthusiasm for this lifestyle.  I will blog every morning to keep myself accountable.  Even if it is just a line or two, I'll post something.  Even if I have to say I screwed the pooch, I will post something.  Pass the noseplug, I'm jumping in.