FASTING EPIPHANIES

1. Eating certain things was a form of rebellion for me.

2. The food industry, like the government, lies like a rug.
3. When you flood your body with the things it needs, it stops pestering you for crazy crap.
4. When you flood your body with the things it needs, it really can heal itself.
5. My life is not over. It really is NOT too late to be the person what I always wanted to be.
6. Having people you can always count on to be there for you during something difficult can make ALL the difference.
7. Friends are friends even if you have never seen their faces. I never really believed that before.
8. OLD DOGS CAN, IN FACT, LEARN NEW TRICKS!!!
9. Making great choices for my body and for my family is a HUGE RUSH!
10. (This one is borrowed from my friend Jana. It was two different ones for her but I see them as closely related.) There is absolutely no other way to obtain the clarity of thought that is needed to face what caused weight issues without a long term fast. AND A juice fast will force you to take a look at core of your very being, and it will be the hardest and most rewarding thing you will ever do for yourself in your life.

Day 33: ONE WEEK OF JUICE FASTING TO GO

Had a super busy weekend with the grandkids and spent 2 hours working out in the pool again today:) My goal for the next few weeks is to get really regular with my exercise. I bought a 10 class pass for the aquacize class. It's fun and it's a good workout. I do some laps before and after too so I get in a good workout. 

My juice fast is nearing it's end; only one week to go. But I know this will not be the last juice fast I do. I suspect I will juice fast regularly. I haven't decided for sure how often or how long but I'm thinking maybe 5 days a month or maybe even 10 if I get into trouble with food. I have a good plan in place and I don't have ANY desire to eat the way I used to but I do have the holidays looming so I'm not going to underestimate the temptations that will abound. 

Just today, I went to the store and they had one of my favorite seasonal treats right by the checkout. Helloooo Candy Corn. LOL Yes, I used to love Candy Corn. Honestly, now, the thought of it makes me a little sick. In a few weeks, I will have a much bigger hurdle. I plan to have a delicious but super healthy Thanksgiving dinner for my family but there is one thing I haven't decided on yet - my Mom's dressing. It is probably the biggest and most dear tradition for our family Thanksgiving. I can make healthy desserts and I can certainly make some healthy salads and veggie dishes and a healthy version of the turkey. But Mom's dressing is kind of sacred to us. Cameron wants to make a small batch so everyone can have a smallish serving. Part of me thinks that is the best solution. But all that bread and eggs and cornbread and stuff.... That isn't the way I eat now. I know Mom is proud of what I am doing now and would tell me that silly old dressing is meaningless but I can't feel that. 

So, in other news.... I love reading and viewing websites about different views about nutrition and health. I am deeply convicted to the path I have chosen and I know that it will keep leading me to greater and greater health and wellness. That doesn't mean that I know what path is right for anyone else. When I see people getting hateful about Veganism or about Paleo or about Atkins or whatever, it just turns me off to whatever they are advocating. The funniest thing is when someone who has tried to talk me into weight loss surgery or gone out with me for some uber fattening treat on many occasions tries to say that what I'm doing is too drastic. I've said it before but it bears repeating; killing myself with food was drastic. This is sanity and health and joy. I'll stick with that thank you. So here is my thought for the day: 

DAY 29: 4 Week results from Friday, Sep 20, 2013

So this morning we weighed in for our official 4 weeks results and here they are: 
Mom (started 340)  313.6 (-26.4)
Gini (started 288)  261.4  (-26.6)
Harmoni (started 303)  275 (-28)

I continue to feel so good that it seems surreal. Yesterday I went swimming at 8:00 am and swam for an hour. At 9:00 an aquacize class started so I did that too! Then I showered and dressed and went grocery shopping - no electric buggy involved. Today I have my 4 year old grandson and 6 year old granddaughter for the day and overnight. I haven't had one moment of feeling over-fatigued or one moment of pain. I was worried I overdid it yesterday and would be in pain today or at least sore but nope! I'm going swimming again this afternoon:) 

Gini and Harmoni are eating veggies once or twice a day and having juice twice a day and still losing. I fixed them some fish and baked sweet potato slices the other day and they LOVED it. I think that may be my first non-veggie meal next month:) 

I've been looking for motivational images and I found one that is perfect. Well, I enhanced it and added the text to make it the perfect one for me:) 
 

DAY 24 - It can't be this easy? Actually, it CAN. from Sunday, Sep 15, 2013

Two things in the last couple of days have been staying in my mind. First, I read an article from here on Sparkpeople, well linked here anyway, about writing a different story and creating a different persona for ourselves in order to achieve different outcomes. I think it was from Psychology Today. Then, I was reading in Alejandro Junger's book, "Clean," where I got the quote on the following picture. (I made the meme on Picmonkey which I LOVE.) 
 

I've been talking to people about this way of life and people are both impressed and skeptical. Understandable. We are so conditioned by Conventional Wisdom World to believe that it CAN'T BE THIS EASY. We must surely have to combine certain foods or at least macronutrients in just the right balance or at least count calories and so on. After all these years, can it really just be this simple and this easy? And yes, after 3 weeks, this is EASY. 99% of the time at least;o) Of course, I'm not battling other people in the same home who insist on eating differently. God bless those who do! They are warriors!! But since I can create a safe haven here in my home and only have to face the temptations when I go places, I can put on my armor for those encounters and then come home and relax and enjoy it:) 
 
So I am writing a different story for myself. I am taking a different road so that I can come out in a different place. I am the kind of person who eats super healthy stuff and truly enjoys finding cool new recipes for yummy raw, plant-based foods. And as a result I am the kind of person who is getting thinner and healthier and more vigorous by the day! And I will keep doing that because I am constantly seeking out foods that we can enjoy that will keep us healthy instead of waiting for the day when I can go back to McDonalds or Hamburger Helper. I am THAT kind of person. True story.

DAY 19 - Back Among the Living from Tuesday, September 10, 2013

CAUTION, I know I'm going to sound like a crazy oversell infomercial here but every word is exactly true. It's my experience so what can I say. 

A month ago, I had literally given up on my life. I was so weak, in so much pain and so depressed that I literally lived in my bedroom. My grown kids did my shopping for me usually because it was too depressing to have to ride those motorized scooters in the store. I could barely make it to my loveseat from my bed (about 6 feet away) and I would just sit there reading, knitting or playing facebook games all day every day. I hurt all the time. I had to take several medications and pain relievers upon waking to even be able to think or sit up. No exagerration. Just the way it was. WAS being the key word. I slept until 10 or 11 each morning and slept very poorly. Did not feel rested ever. 

Now, I wake up at 7-7:30 naturally, no alarm. I am OFF all meds, including OTC pain relievers. I have NO PAIN. I get up and make juice, clean up the kitchen, get online for a little while and then go swim or clean on my wreck of a house or whatever I feel like doing. I go shopping and WALK through the store on my own. I had started developing holes in the retinas of my eyes (a side effect of the Myasthenia Gravis) and sunlight felt like I was being stabbed in the eyeballs, even with my perscription sunglasses. THe sunlight didn't hurt my eyes today! 

My 19 year old has had chronic allergies year round and chronic acid reflux as well. SHe has had multiple surgeries on her ears and still has hearing loss but she had strangely been left with no sense of smell after the last surgery. Yesterday I handed her a juice that had cacao bean and banana in it and she said, I can really smell the banana. I said yeah it smells yummy. she said, "MOM! I can SMELL the BANANA!" I was like, OH MY GOSH! THat kid hasn't smelled anything in a couple of years! (It was kinda cool cuz she didn't mind cleaning the litter box;o) Just kidding. Also she is off of all allergy meds and acid reflux meds with no symptoms. 

I can't even express the difference in the way I feel physically, mentally and emotionally. I am me again. Hello girl, haven't seen you in YEARS. How the heck are ya? 

Answer; I'm Fan Freaking Tastic! I know I will lose a LOT of weight. I know people will start to see the changes and comment about how great I'm looking, how much weight I've lost etc. But I am telling you in all sincerity that even if I never lost another pound, I would continue to juice veggies and fruit for the rest of my life. I am no longer on a rapid decline to my death at the age of 51. I am 100% back among the living. 

IN OTHER NEWS: My hubby was home for the weekend for the first time in 3 weeks. First time home since we started juicing. The first morning I was standing in the kitchen showing him how to make the juice and I noticed he was just kinda staring and shaking his head. I said, "What?" He said, "I'm looking at you and I still can't believe it." I said, "Twenty pounds doesn't show that much at my weight but thanks." He said, "No. I mean, you're still standing there. You're standing there and doing stuff and talking and not holding the counter and nearly in tears. I'm seeing it but I still can't believe the change!" Have I mentioned what a sweet man my hubby is. Never criticizes me. Always supportive. He said the same thing several times through the weekend. Just couldn't get over it. 

So hubby wants to lose 30 or 40 lbs and make sure his blood pressure is normal for his physical in November so I sent my juicer on the road with him. Three days and he has lost 8 lbs, no caffeine headache as of today and feeling great. He is modified juicing, meaning he has a big salad for lunch. How awesome is that? 

But Natalie, your juicer? Well, I went back to the liquidation place where I got my Hamilton Beach juicer. No more of my kind. So I spent $20 more and got a fusion juicer. Oh my gosh I love it!! It is super quiet and produces way more juice then the Hamilton Beach Big Mouth I had. I'm still saving up for the Omega juicer but until then this one is pretty dang awesome. I also saw a Cuisine Art food processor for $50 that I will go back for on payday if it is still there. I LOVE liquidation outlets:) 

That's it for today. I have boxes to go through and floors to clean and energy to burn! Have you had your juice today?

Two Week Results from Friday, September 06, 2013

Our official 2 week totals are: 

Me 20.5 lbs gone 
Gini 21 lbs gone 
Harmoni 23 lbs gone 



I am feeling more and more at ease and comfortable with this as a new lifestyle. Not straight juicing permanently or anything but definitely healthy whole-foods, plant based diet. Not straight Vegan but I am so over poisonous, processed JUNK posing as food. The other day when we ate, (can't remember if I posted about it but we were left without anything to juice one day - lesson learned - plan better!) it was quite obvious that our taste buds have already changed. We can actually taste food again and even though we were only eating fresh fruits, veggies and some boiled eggs and a bit skinless chicken breast boiled in broth, our taste buds have changed dramatically. We didn't need to add a bunch of salt or sugar for things to taste "right." And it took a WHOLE lot less to fill us up. 

We have all heard the statistics about losing the weight too fast makes it more likely that you will put it right back on but I have come to believe that putting the weight back on has a whole lot more to do with what you eat after you "finish your diet" than what you ate while you were "dieting" or how fast you lost it. I am not on a diet. I am retraining my body to a different way of eating. I'm reminding my body (and my body is reminding me!) that it is perfectly capable of healing itself and functioning beautifully as long as I give it the nutrients it needs. 

Did I mention that my blood pressure is now normal WITHOUT MEDICATION? That's in two weeks, folks. Two weeks. Doctor says keep checking it daily and take a pill if it goes up but so far it hasn't gone up in 5 days. And I haven't had to take pain reliever upon waking for almost a week. That's after a couple of years of waking up in terrible pain every single day. I haven't taken a pain pill of any kind in a week. So let the naysayers say what they will. I know when my body is singing. And me? I'm just gonna keep singing along.

Day 11: Happy Labor Day! from Monday, September 02, 2013

I have Alabama's Working Man song running through my head. Props to the working men and women like my hard-working hubby, Robert. 

We are still juicing strong here:) In fact, my oldest daughter has decided to add a juice every day for all those nutrients while she is pregnant and nursing and then after to do a juice fast/reboot to get the baby weight off. She usually has a pretty hard time getting back to pre-baby weight so hopefully this will get her back in top running condition much faster. 

I am starting to see the change already in my girls. Their tummies are a little trimmer plus, they both have battles with acne and their faces are really clearing up. I am much stronger today so the MG is slinking back to it's little cave. Hopefully, before all is said and done, I will convince it to slink off into the twilight, convinced it can no longer live in such a healthy body as mine:) 

I have noticed something extraordinary. For the first time ever, I don't have cravings. I, like most anyone who is over 300 lbs, have been on many diets. Some fill you up better than others but NONE ever made the craving for certain foods go away. Not that I can't think and remember how much I enjoyed nachos or mac n cheese or whatever but I don't CRAVE them. When I see them on tv or think about them, I can easily turn my mind to something else and move on. I have a couple of theories about that. Just theories, mind you;o) 
1) Maybe when we just absolutely flood our body with what it actually NEEDS and only what it NEEDS, we stop craving junk. 
2) Maybe doing this and seeing the effect it has and that we actually ENJOY it, gives us a more certain knowledge than we've ever had before that we CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING. I've thought I could. I've told myself I could. I don't think I ever really KNEW I could. For real. 

For anyone who is curious I thought I would post a couple of my juice recipes. I don't make exactly the same juice twice. So many veggies, so little time. LOL and I don't juice for the beautiful green or orange or red or purple color. There are plenty of beautiful recipes on rebootwithjoe if you are interested in that. Most of the time, my juice comes out kinda brown cuz I mix colors but I am more interested in flavor, cost and using what I have on hand. So... 

Breakfast Day 11 
4 apples 
2 cucumber 
1/4 med watermelon 
1 lg mango 
6 strawberries 

Lunch Day 11 
2 cucumbers 
2 green apples 
1 large bunch spinach 
4 lg leaves romaine 
4 stalks celery 
4 radishes 
1 clove garlic 

I use a lot of cucumbers. Some things give more juice than others and some things have a stronger flavor than others. Cucumbers make a lot of juice and are mild in flavor so it can be added to almost any juice to give more volume and a milder flavor. 

I haven't decided on our dinner juice yet but I know it will be tomato based.

DAY 10: Going strong from Sunday, September 01, 2013

Not much to post today. My weight this morning is 320.8 so still going in the right direction:) I am feeling stronger today but still not going to push it. I really want to be able to swim when Tuesday rolls around. I am still juicing, still feeling so fantastic about this lifestyle change and still mentally and emotionally charged and positive! 

I did discover on the juicing boards over at rebootwithjoe.com that we can make a veggie broth from the stuff left over after juicing the veggies so we can have a warm cup of broth on occasion. I LOVE this idea and my first attempt at broth is in the crockpot right now. I'll let you know how it turns out. It is basically some nice flavorful veggie pulp simmered in water with a pinch of sea salt and other spices and herbs. I'm looking forward to trying it since warm broth is a nice change from cold juice all the time. 

Day 8: What a week! from Friday, August 30, 2013

So after one solid week of NO solid food, the girls and I had each lost around 17 lbs. Funny that it is the same amount for each of us since we have such different body types. Harmoni is actually the least overweight of us as she is 6'3" and has REALLY large bone structure. She can't even always fit a man's wrist watch, much less a woman's and her shoe is size 14. Gini is closer to my height at 5'8" and NEVER ate veggies but she is totally rocking the juice without one complaint! She is hypoglycemic so we are watching that but it has done great with the juice. I am 5'6". So, as of yesterday (since I didn't post yesterday) our stats are: 

Me: Down from 340 to 322.4 (-17.6lbs)
Virginia: Down from 288 to 271.4 (-16.6lbs)
Harmoni: Down from 303 to 286  (-17lbs)

I am so proud of my girls I could burst. My son and dil are doing this to but they are adults and I'm not tracking them. But I really couldn't be more proud of my son. He was a worst of the worst soda addict, never ate veggies and lived on cheesy pasta type stuff, chili dogs and pizza. I know his start weight was near 400 lbs and he has been doing great even though he WORKS IN A PIZZA RESTAURANT!! He has to prepare pizzas and desserts and so forth while just drinking juice! And he has cold-turkeyed the soda!! NOBODY who knows Cameron would believe he would be able to do this but he is and I am one proud mama. 

My two slim daughters are really happy that we are doing this too and my oldest is asking me about how to incorporate juicing just for health benefits if you aren't overweight. Yay for my grandkids sake!!! But good luck getting my son-in-laws to go along. LOL My poor dil, Stef, is having to do this while spending 5 days a week at my oldest daughter Bonni's house. She has to prepare food for the boys and is there when Bonni comes home and immediately starts cooking. I definitely would not want to be around yummy cooking odors the first week especially. It doesn't bother me most of the time now but it would have at first!! 

I am definitely planning to go through September just juicing. The kids are definitely on board for at least another week and then we'll talk about whether they want to continue or add in a healthy meal each day. And my hubby wants to learn how to do this and take a juicer on the road with him when he comes in next week! So, this is going to be one healthy family! 

On the down side, I am having a big MG flareup. It is my own fault as I went out in 100 degree weather with no AC in the car. That is a big no-no for MG. I'm lucky it didn't hit my respiratory system and really screw me up. (Hospital not likely to let me juice;o) It's mostly just large muscle failure right now so hopefully a day or two of rest and staying cool and drinking plenty of water will get it back under control. I've talked to an awful lot of people with autoimmune disorders who say that once they stick out the first couple of weeks of juicing, their symptoms are waaaay decreased if not eliminated. But they always seem to flare up and get worse briefly at first so I was expecting it and then went out in the heat anyway. But I just wanted to pick my own veggies, darnit! LOL Anyway, this too shall pass. I can't swim over the weekend anyway as the pool I go to is closed until Tuesday for the holiday. Just going to enjoy a quiet (and COOL) holiday weekend at home with my juice:) 

Sorry this one was so chatty! LOL My spirits are high in spite of the MG, can ya tell? 

Day 6: A WORD ABOUT THE COST OF JUICING $$$ from Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I am really really happy with my juicing so far. I have had some intermittent detoxing going on which is pretty yucky and intense but I will spare you the details. Trust me, you don't want to know;o) I have lost 17 lbs in 6 days. It's kinda freaky to think I would be lucky to lose that much in two months on a standard diet. Harmoni has lost 17 and Gini has lost 16:):) 

I wanted to be totally honest in case anyone reading this is thinking of doing a juice fast... It isn't cheap. I have been looking into juicers and I will definitely be upgrading my juicer since I think a better quality juicer that will net more juice from the produce will pay for itself in no time. I went to the store yesterday and spent $80 on about 3 days worth of produce. Now, bear in mind, I am preparing juice for 4 people here. I definitely wasted some produce the first few days since we were finding out what things we each liked and didn't like. I definitely need to go for produce every 2 or 3 days since I can't afford spoilage. I will definitely be looking into kitchen storage options that keep produce fresh longer. We never bought much produce before (yes, our diet was THAT bad) so I don't have much in the way of produce storage gadgets. Most of our food before was in the freezer or in boxes and cans on the shelf. So this is really a HUGE change around here. Of course, I used to spend anywhere from $20 to $60 per week on fast food so I can't complain too much.

On the bright side, I spend less time cleaning the kitchen and we produce a lot less garbage.  If you compost your pulp or use it in recipes, you wouldn't produce much garbage at all. I clean up the juicer and rinse our glasses after we have each juice which takes maybe 10 minutes. Tops. Piece of cake. Meal prep is really quick too but since we were living off of convenience foods, it was pretty quick before too. I really have NO desire to bring that junk back into my house or my family's lives. I can't wait to learn how to use things like quinoa and tofu. But for now, I LOVE my juice!!!

Day 5: Not tired:) Not in pain:):):) from Tuesday, August 27, 2013

One thing that is becoming apparent is that my sleep is way better. I am going to sleep and sleeping through the night for the first time in a loooong time. I was having trouble going to sleep and would lie there awake til 3 or 4 or even 5 am and then sleep fitfully til at least 10 am. Feeling like a mac truck had run me over when I woke up, not really being able to function til 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Now, I'm asleep by about 11 or 12 and up by 6 or 7. today I slept til 8am after going to sleep at about 12!! I haven't slept deeply for 8 hours in years. At least not without medication:/ And I am able to dress and make some juice and tend to the animals without taking pain reliever and sitting around for a couple of hours waiting to feel semi-human first. You have no idea how big that is for me. No idea. My problem now is kind of a good problem since it has a solution; I have way more energy these days but I still have VERY limited strength. I have to build up my strength more slowly than a lot of people but I know I CAN do it. I AM doing it. Do you KNOW how many muscles you use swimming? 

I am really enjoying planning the healthy foods we will add in as we switch to mixing juices with food. Dr. Fuhrman, thankfully, has plenty of simple and quick options since those are the most practical and realistic for us. There will be times when we spend a great deal of time in the kitchen trying out fancy vegetarian recipes but I am not someone who has ever really enjoyed cooking so the simpler the better for me. But who knows, as we learn all this new stuff maybe one of the girls will discover a love of cooking healthy, whole food meals:) A mom can hope, right? My two grown, married daughters are decent cooks. Cheyenne even enjoys it. 

I've been thinking about my girls a lot today. They have stuck to this with next to no complaints and are doing great. They are both obese at such a young age that this is possibly one of the most important tasks I've undertaken as a parent. They are both ready to launch, you know? They were homeschooled and we have exceptionally close relationships so they aren't in quite as big a hurry to leave home as some kids. But they are both planning college, jobs, an apartment to share and fixing up my old Ford truck to share. Once they are out on their own, I will have a substantially reduced influence on their food choices/lifestyle (next to none, lol). Right now, I am either setting them up for a lifetime of better eating habits, losing the weight, being more active and fit and thus having a better quality of life in whatever path they choose or if I give up and go back to eating the way we used to eat or start making excuses for not sticking to the plan etc, I could be setting them up for a damaging path of extreme yo-yo dieting. So that is yet another motivation to keep going and never give up. And the bottom line is that I have to do this for me. Even if they fell off the wagon or rebelled, seeing me keep going and succeeding and being able to function more normally and enjoy life again would be the best lesson I could give them. Example is ALWAYS the best lesson. 

I am really enjoying planning the healthy foods we will add in as we switch to mixing juices with food. Dr. Fuhrman, thankfully, has plenty of simple and quick options since those are the most practical and realistic for us. There will be times when we spend a great deal of time in the kitchen trying out fancy vegetarian recipes but I am not someone who has ever really enjoyed cooking so the simpler the better for me. But who knows, as we learn all this new stuff maybe one of the girls will discover a love of cooking healthy, whole food meals:) A mom can hope, right? My two grown, married daughters are decent cooks. Cheyenne even enjoys it. 

This picture is 6 years old but it is me and my girls, Gini and Harmoni:

Day 4: T.I.R.E.D from Monday, August 26, 2013

Not much to say today. I am down 12 lbs and my daughters are down 13 (Harmoni) and 9 (Gini). I am still feeling good, probably a bit more alert than is usual for me lately. I am really wiped out this evening so I'm going to get to bed early and hopefully get more sleep than I've been getting lately as well. Last night I still just slept for 6 hours but I slept a lot deeper than usual. I fell asleep on my bad shoulder though so it's flared up now. Swimming was great as usual but I'm pretty sore. 

I want to remember for future reference just how it feels right now to try to function normally. I want to remember that if I sit on my tail all morning and then go for a swim, I am so tired I can barely make it through the produce section at the market. Literally. My body feels like it was filled with lead. Mentally I'm great but physically I really am just completely spent just from a 30 minute swim followed by 30 minutes at the market. Cleaning the kitchen will have to be passed off to my girls. When I think I'm not making progress fast enough I need to remember exactly how a day like this felt. I know myself well enough to know that a few weeks or months from now, I'll go swim for 20 laps, go grocery shopping, take the kids to a movie and then clean my kitchen and then gripe and complain about how I shouldn't be so tired. Maybe I should make a video blog. 

I have since learned that extreme fatigue is completely normal and happens to most everyone at around this point.  It lasted longer for me than for most people probably because of my Myasthenia Gravis.  This was totally common detox symptoms.

Day 3: Where's the Drama from Sunday, August 25, 2013

Day 3 well underway and I don't know whether to be relieved or concerned. Everything I've watched or read about juice fasting mentions that you need to be prepared for a really bad day or two around day 2-4. Middle of day three and none of us have had anything like that. Everyone here is in good spirits, amazed at how little hunger we are experiencing and dropping weight like crazy. Water weight, I know.

I feel like I have to always qualify that. I say, "I've lost 8 lbs already. But I know it's just water weight." Even then, I wait for the lecture. It is amazing how many (usually overweight and clearly unhealthy) people need to let me know that ALL the experts agree that if you lose weight too fast, you will just regain it. And losing weight too fast will make you lose all your muscle. And that kind of weight loss is just water weight and will come right back. There are people who lecture me about doing something "so extreme" with teenagers (17 and 19) while these same people would be SOOOO supportive and kind if I elected to have gastric bypass surgery. I know because many of them have asked if I've looked into it.

I need to make a tee shirt that says, "I am an educated person. I don't play fast and easy with my health or that of my family. I did my research. And my research is just as relevant as yours." Funny how whatever expert a person relies on is much more reliable than any expert who disagrees with them. I'm including myself here. There is so much contradictory information out there, we all have to decide which line of thinking we believe is most worthy. The low-carb, paleo, Atkins, whatever people are quite sure that Dr. Campbell's China Study is whack. The whole foods people believe the FDA and their pyramid is whack (waving hand in air here - "Me, me!") and the PC police spouting conventional wisdom are probably the most annoying and sanctimonious of all. I respect anyone trying to find a healthier way of being. I am not trying to tell anyone else that their chosen path is the wrong one and that mine is the right one. If asked, I explain what I am doing and why. That's it. Is it too much to ask for the same courtesy from others? I know a lot of people on Paleo and that is great as long as it works for them. I have a dear, intelligent friend who swears by the blood-type diet. She is feeling better so that's great.

It's kind of like religion or politics people. Feel free to share what you believe with me but don't act like I'm doing something wrong if I don't think/believe the same way.

Hmmmm.... well, there's that drama after all! Just in my head and not my gut! LOL

And here are the "before pictures" I took of me and the girls on Friday, Day 1:

Left - Gini 288; Center - Me 340; Right - Harmoni - 303

Day 2 from Saturday, August 24, 2013

Day one is in the can and I'm feeling good:) Just had my morning juice which was really quite yummy with cucumber, melon and citrus. The girls love that one too. I am clearly shedding some water weight really quickly. Wore a path to the bathroom. LOL That is a very good thing since the fluid retention has been becoming a bit alarming lately. I was either going to have to see the doctor for yet another perscription or find a natural way to take it off. Which I have! Score! 

Boy you do go through the produce with this! I got what I thought would be 3 days worth and have already had to go back for more of a lot of things. Cucumber lightens up the green drinks nicely so I almost always use at least one and apples sweeten them up so I've gone through those too. And the kale and spinach go fast as well. Carrots too. Carrots and cucumbers are the best bang for your buck since they taste nice and give quite a lot of juice and are relatively cheap even organic. 

Three of my grandsons are coming over today (the three biggest ones in the picture below and they are going to have some adjusting to do. "What do you mean grandma has no candy, no crackers, no chips!!" LOL But when grandma can go to the park with them again or the library or the zoo... they will be thrilled. And so will I.

My beautiful grandchildren:

Psyched!! from August 22, 2013

I am so psyched! I got my juicer and my scale and a WHOLE bunch of fresh fruits and veggies and gave the juicer a little test run. I just juiced some cucumber, pear, carrot and romaine and the kids all tried and said.... (drumroll please) YUM! They all said yum!!!! MY kids! Harmoni even said she could see herself craving that stuff... I was floored. I know that we are where we are meant to be, doing what we are meant to be doing. I am so blessed to have my family all so ready and willing to jump right into the deep end with me. We are all going to record our "before" pictures and measurements and our blood pressure. We had blood work done not very long ago so we'll have that for later comparison as well. I plan to weigh just once a week, and I know that my loss may go a bit slower than the average bear because I have hypothyroidism. That's okay. I really truly am in this for the health benefits and the energy and vitality. I know the weight loss will need to be a part of that but it can happen the way it needs to. I will give my body the things it needs and have faith that it will do the rest. 

It is amazing how the times in my life when I do things that feel, on the surface, like such radical, "crazy" things to do and that break so completely from "the norm" or the way things are traditionally done that God makes it so very clear to me when I am actually doing what He had in mind all along. It was that way when we started talking about homeschooling twenty-some years ago. At first it was, "Are we crazy?" Then it was, "Maybe we are crazy but it's what He wants from us." I don't usually get "religious" on a public blog like this but that is huge in this. I would never have had the nerve to do something that goes against all conventional wisdom and feel so completely at peace about it. I was actually really shocked when my son said, "This just feels natural; like it's what we are meant to be doing." MY son! Cameron! The uber carnivore, pop chugging, fatalistic guy actually said that! Well, the homeschooling turned out to be one of the biggest blessings of my life so here's hoping....:) 

So, the swimming. I hadn't gone in a long time and I am so weak and so in pain that I have been afraid to even try. By the time I have dressed for the public, I am worn out. Rest a bit. Make my way to the car, worn out. Getting into the building and dressed for swimming, so worn out that I was afraid I would embarrass myself by falling before I could hit the water. Step into the water and... I can move without pain!! Five minutes later, I can conquer the world!!! I can't explain how water affects me. I have been that way since I was a little kid. I joke that I must be descended of Poseiden because of the affect it has on me. I only stayed in for about 20 minutes because I had to go get my supplies (juicer, food etc) and I would have to shower and dress before that, but that was the nicest 20 minutes I've spent in weeks. I'm back to being lucky to complete one lap without stopping but that will change.  I promised the girls we would go at least 3 times a week. I can't wait to get back to being able to swim 20-30 laps like I could a few years ago. I have to say it was kind of satisfying to watch the lean, athletic looking swimmers see me lumbering in, obviously in pain and debilitated and then when getting out they'd look at me differently or even sometimes say, "You are a good swimmer!" Why yes. Yes I am;o) 

It's Different This Time - from Sunday, August 18, 2013

I know we've all heard that before. Well, for me, it damn well better be different this time because I seriously doubt there will be another time. My body is failing fast. I am weaker and fatter and sicker than I have ever been; than anyone should ever be. I am not really sure what exactly I weigh. A few months ago I weighed at the doctor's office at 324. I'm pretty sure I've gained a few more since then.  [Working scale revealed I was at 340.]  I can literally barely get from my bed to the car. I spend my entire day on a loveseat 6 feet from my bed. I am on a bunch of medications that make me feel like crap and now I'm having symptoms of congestive heart failure. I have never put a lot of faith in the traditional medical community but it's amazing what you'll give in to when you are actually afraid for you life. I am 51 years old and I want to do some more LIVING before I die!! 

I have tried before, obviously. I tried Atkins and WW and just tracking food and trying to stay in the traditional healthy guidelines here on SP. All my life I've heard, "Make incremental changes. Small changes add up to big changes." I reduced my salt, I quit drinking soda years ago, I quit using added oils and other fats, (Boy do I miss deep fried okra!) I cut waaaay back on "whites" like white bread, potatos, rice, sugar. This has all been over the course of 25 years or so. In those years, I have gone from overweight at 220 lbs in my late 20s to over 335 or so now. I'm sick of people looking at me as if I must hoover cookies into my mouth all day. And most of all I'm sick of sitting in this house and feeling helpless and useless. I'm sick of being a horrible example of how to live a life to my kids, two of whom are still at home. No more small changes. Now, EVERYTHING changes. I'm gonna die or I'm gonna LIVE. 

Friday (Thursday is grocery day - my son goes for me) I am starting a juice reboot a la the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Boy doncha know that title caught my attention. I thought they made a documentary about me!! LOL I watched that. I watched Forks Over Knives and I watched Food, Inc. I did my own research. I read more books than I'm going to list here right now. I have chosen my path. I will do a minimum 10 day juice fast, actually planning for a 30 day but we'll play it by ear. After the juice reboot, I will start the 6 week plan in Eat To Live. I am still trying to learn how, in my area, I can avoid GMOs and such but I will just do the best I can to get whole, unmodified foods. As I become more mobile, I can shop at the whole foods stores in Tulsa instead of just the supermarkets here in my small town. 

So, how is it "different this time" for me? I don't give a craphat about conventional wisdom any more as it has gotten me to this point of being literally fat, sick and nearly dead. I don't give a tinker's damn about how I look or what other people think of how I look. I am doing this so that I can live. I am doing this so that I can enjoy living again. 

I am not the least bit worried I won't stick. I'm not weak (mentally) and I'm not stupid. Show me something that makes sense and that actually works in the important ways and I WILL do it. And I have an advantage in that I very rarely leave my house right now. The food that is brought in is picked up for me by my son and he follows the list I give him to a tee. I also will have an advantage that for the first week at least, everyone in my house will be doing the same thing. We are using this next few days to get rid of ALL perishables in the house and putting all canned goods into storage. There won't be anything in this house that isn't on that eating plan. Do I feel guilty for my poor 17 and 19 year olds having to give up their lunchmeat and hot pockets? Nope. I feel good about doing this FOR them. My 17 year old has high blood pressure and weighs 280 lbs [Once I got a working scale we discovered she was actually up to 303lbs.] (she is 6'3" but still) My 19 year old has high cholesterol and weighs 260 [This one turned out to weigh 288.] or thereabouts. My son and dil are living with me right now but they are both nearing 400 lbs! They are having trouble conceiving a child mostly because of their weight and I fear that my 29 year old son will have a heart attack before I do!! I am showing them that getting your body the nutrients it needs to function correctly and to heal itself as God intended it to all along, you do what you need to do. It's priority one. Period. 

So. That's where I'm at today. I've been on diets before but that person is gone. That person tried and tried and failed. This one is succeeding. This one is doing, not trying.

The Beginning - A Near Death Life

This is the story of how I came back to life.  About 6 weeks ago, I wrote in my journal about giving up.  About losing my faith and believing that all that was left for me was a not so gradual decline into death.  I told God (no I wasn't raised to try to tell God what to do but I was that low) that if He had any more plans for me He had better get on with them.  My mother had the faith of a giant and instilled the faith of generations of women into me.  It was not easy to admit that I was losing that.  But my condition was such that it was just a simple matter of common sense to see that I wasn't going to last long and that the journey to the end wasn't going to be much fun.  

Now this is a story of hope and triumph and victory over obesity, illness, premature death and loss of faith and hope.  It is about learning to be my own advocate, do my own research and take charge of my health and my life.  But to give you an idea of what a miracle this has been, you have to have a clear picture of where I started.  I know it will sound crazy.  I know that some will not believe how bad it was or how good it is now but that isn't my problem.  I am writing this blog in case anyone, any one person, might be helped or encouraged or inspired by what has happened to me.  I make two promises to whomever may be reading this.  I will blog at least once a week, usually more, and I will be 100% honest.  I will try to figure out how to do an occasional youtube video but I'm a total newb at that so give me a chance to figure it out.  I will post before pictures that I took on August 23 when I started this journey and I will post during pics every few weeks and eventually, I'll post after pics although "after pics" is a bit of a misnomer since I don't believe this is a journey with an ending.  This journey is how I've chosen to live my life from now on.  But once I reach a healthy weight, BMI or whatever, I'll post something we will call an "after" pic;o)

So, let's go back a few weeks.  The following are word-for-word excerpts from my personal journal.  I am usually a very private person and NOBODY would ever see this but, as I said, if it helps one person...

July 30, 2013
"I'm not sure what the catalyst was but I've just sorta stopped living.  NOT suicidal; not stopped caring... Just don't have any hope of anything ever getting better for me personally.  ...I need hope and I need it now.  Whether there is life after death or not, I am not done with this one; or at least I don't want to be. There are so many things I don't want to leave this life without having done/seen/experienced.  Sort of a bucket list but SO much more important. ...Mostly I don't want to die with THIS being the mom/grandma/example that my kids and grandkids are left to remember."

"I don't DO anything with my days anymore.  I just vegetate.  I have physical issues; real, medical, painful, frustrating, physical issues.  I am in serious pain All. The. Time.  So I don't do much which makes me weaker.  So I sit here weak, in pain and feeling helpless and hopeless, getting weaker and more hopeless every day."

"Here is my pathetic daily routine:
Noon - wake up and take meds. Sit in bed for an hour while meds take effect so I can make it to the bathroom and then back to bedroom loveseat.  Harmoni brings me coffee and breakfast from the microwave.  I then get on the computer and play a couple of facebook games in three different profiles so I can feel "busy."  I also watch a few shows on Netflix or Hulu while I knit.  Knitting is my therapy.  It keeps me sane.  Sort of. 
Harmoni will later bring me lunch.  I will make it to the bathroom a couple more times in the day and once in a while even make it to the kitchen to get my own sandwich or can of something for dinner.  If it has to heat for more than a couple of minutes, Harmoni will bring it to me.

Once a week, I go to Walmart and ride the 'electric chair of shame' because I can't walk through the store.  This is the store I used to work at so it is especially humiliating.  I stop at the Post Office and a couple of places to pay bills where Gini or Harmoni will run in for me since getting in and out of the van is so hard for me.

I go to bed around 3 am and might get to sleep before dawn.  I sleep very poorly and am still exhausted when I wake whether it is 9 hours later or 3 hours later.

The end.  That is my day.  Every day."

Wow is it humbling to write that in a public forum.  Those who don't know me personally can't imagine how amazing it is that I would share that with anyone.  ANYONE, much less everyone.  Now for a few facts.  At the time I wrote that stuff, I was a 51 year old mother of 5, grandma of 9, married to a sweetheart of a truck driver since 1987, in small town Oklahoma.  I am 5'6" tall and weighed 340 lbs.  I have Myasthenia Gravis which is an autoimmune disorder, and the tumor in my chest that often accompanies it, as well as a history of blood clots, bone on bone knee, completely trashed shoulder from tearing the rotator cuff several times and not getting treatment leaving it with scar tissue, arthritis and bone spurs, high blood pressure, hypothyroidism, high cholesterol and Paget's disease of the bone in my pelvis.  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia years ago but the pain and fatigue of that little joy-pill was so buried in the pain and fatigue from all the other stuff that I forget about it.  And to kind of top it all off, I had started having some pretty scary symptoms of congestive heart failure.  I didn't realize it at the time but that is often a complication of Paget's. 

So now I think you have the pathetic picture of where I was a few weeks ago when suddenly, very suddenly, everything changed.  EVERYTHING changed.  I have tried most of the diets that everyone else has tried from Atkins and Weight Watchers to tracking my food and activity on Sparkpeople.  Sparkpeople was by far the most helpful.  I highly recommend it for the tools and fellowship available no matter what path to health you choose.  

Now on to the POSITIVE stuff because, trust me, nowadays, my life is a very positive place!  I'll make this part brief and then just get to posting the progress blogs.  I started a blog on Sparkpeople and I'm going to start by reposting those here to bring you up to date and then I'll take it up from there with current blogs.  So when you see a blog that is dated September 24 but the title says it is August 25 - Day 3, you won't be confused hopefully.

So what happened was this.  I got on Netflix like I usually did.  For no clear reason at all, since I am NOT usually a viewer of health or food related documentaries, Netflix "recommended" Forks Over Knives and Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  VERY unlike myself, I watched them.  And then I watched Hungry for Change and Vegucated.  I then read Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, The China Study by T. Colin Campbell and Clean by Dr. Alejandro Junger.  I also looked up every bit of research for and against a plant-based diet, The China Study, Veganism, Raw-food living and Clean eating.  I have ridiculed and condemned vegetarians and especially ethical vegans my whole life.  I grew up eating fat-fried everything.  But I knew by the end of the first documentary that God himself had led me to this path and that I could abandon it at my peril.  I KNEW it.  It was a really strange feeling and almost beyond description.  You will just have to trust me that it was different from any path I had ever entered upon for weight-loss.  I actually felt, REALLY felt for the first time that it was "all about health dummy!"  Weight loss was to be looked forward to but definitely secondary.  It was an immediate transformation the likes of which I have never before experienced.  I haven't had a single moment of doubt since.  

So that brings us up to where my Spark blog began so I'll let that tell the story for a bit and then start up again with current blogs.  Sorry this first one was so long.  They won't usually be this long.  If you've read this whole thing, thank you for joining me.  I'm enjoying the ride more than I can say.