DIABETES IS A CHOICE AND I CHOOSE TO SAY NO

I've been watching a series of documentaries this week called iThrive.  It's about the pandemic of diabetes that is currently happening in our world and what can be done about it.  It features all the experts that I trust and follow as well as a few that I find shady and a couple that I find truly misleading.  There was literally nothing in this that I hadn't heard before but I DON'T mean that as a criticism of this series and I DO recommend watching it if you get a chance, especially if you aren't aware that diabetes is a choice and can be reversed most of the time.  The doctors who treat diabetes 2 patients with a WFPB, SOS free diet improve their numbers and reduce medication every time and completely reverse it most of the time if the patient is totally compliant.  
(*WFPB - whole-food, plant-based; SOS no salt, oil or refined  sugars)

It's always hard for me to hear the data on diabetes because, in my mind, it is pretty much criminal how many people are left to suffer and die horrible deaths from diabetes when it is completely reversible if caught early, can be greatly improved if not reversed at any time and it is affecting millions more people every year.  It is one of the leading causes of death in this country and many others.  And, while it used to be a disease of the elderly and pretty rare when I was a kid in the 60s and 70s, it is as common as dirt now and rapidly becoming a disease that affects little children far too often.  But mostly, it hurts to watch a series like this one because I watched my sweet Mama become blind, crippled with neuropathy, go on dialysis for the last 14 years of her life (unusual really for someone to last as long as she did after going on dialysis) and eventually die at the age of 68 looking and feeling more like 98 from this terrible disease.

Mama was a nurse and a very determined woman who had overcome alcohol addiction, given up cigarettes cold turkey after 30 years of a pack and a half a day, went back to college at 48 after her first heart attack and graduated Magna Cum Laude even though her previous education only consisted of completing 8th grade and vocational school.  This is a woman who followed her doctors' orders.  If she had been told that changing to a diet of mostly fruits and veggies could reverse her diabetes, I promise you she would have done it.  She actually loved vegetables and grew a huge garden when we had enough space.  She would eat an onion just like an apple and snacked on the raw veggies as she was chopping them up for dinner. And I'm telling you, the woman could have happily lived on potatoes.  She could have been a STAR McDougaller.  Unfortunately, she was also a Southern woman who learned to cook in Texas.  She was chopping those veggies to smother them in butter and/or cheese and to be a side dish to a big slab of meat.  EVERYTHING was either deep fat fried or smothered in sauce, cheese or butter.  She could make scratch biscuits and sausage gravy in her sleep.

Diabetes is definitely one of the things I always "knew" I would end up with.  It is rampant in our family.  My brother David is suffering with it now.  One of the people in the documentary, sorry I can't remember who it was, said that you can't save the people closest to you and boy is that true and SO frustrating!  My brother won't listen to me.  He is one of the tough guy, "we all gotta die sometime" types who would rather enjoy his food than good health.  And that is exactly how it is!  Diabetes is a choice most all of the time.  (Please note that I am only speaking of type 2 diabetes.  Type 1 can also be improved with this lifestyle but isn't AS reversible as type 2 and the causes of type 1 are not as clear.)  It is incomprehensible to me that anyone would literally choose certain foods over good health once the information is made available to them and I tend to think they just aren't allowing themselves to believe it so that they can justify to themselves continuing with that behavior. Plus, they don't seem to acknowledge that they are not only choosing an earlier death but also suffering a great deal more while they live.  But that is a whole 'nother blog.  I'm getting off on a tangent, which I definitely tend to do when the subject of diabetes is raised.   Anyway... I always knew that I would end up with diabetes.  After all, I was told over and over that I had the genes for it and because I was obese, I was at even higher risk for it.  Doctors told me numerous times that I was "showing signs" of being pre-diabetic and were amazed with each of my 5 pregnancies that I did not test positive for gestational diabetes since I was obese, genetically predisposed and had really large babies.  I spent my life feeling like a ticking time bomb.  But I now know that I never have to suffer my mom's fate.  I can choose differently.  Genes can be expressed or turned off with lifestyle and food choices.  My family history is not my fate.

So watching this series was hard for me.  But it was also really, really good for me.  It was another kick in the keester to get myself back on track.  I have been feeling more and more strongly that I need to do a juice fast, possibly interspersed with a bit of water fasting to get myself back on the path to weight loss and excellent health.  I have, as I have mentioned previously, gotten off track.  Fast food and processed food has once again begun to represent a large proportion of my intake.  And lately, I have even started giving in to cravings for totally non-compliant foods.  I've had actual binges with increasing regularity and I'm too ashamed to admit what my weight is up to at this point.  I'm not back to my heaviest and I'd like to keep it that way.  It's time.  NOW.  Today.  I haven't eaten anything yet today and I am ready to get this party started again.  Today is a blank slate waiting for me to write upon it.  I must choose to write "health" or "harm."  I remember how incredibly well I felt when I was 100% WFPB.  I remember how much energy I had.  I remember how clear my mind was.  I remember how great it felt to walk long distances or work out and feel my body responding like a body is supposed to!  I have to remember those things because they are not true today.  But TODAY I change that.  So thank you Jon (the fellow who made the iThrive documentaries) for a much needed reminder that I didn't "fix" my problems forever by eating right for a couple of years.  I have to give myself the highest possibility possible for excellent health and avoiding the darker side of my genes every single day.  I can still develop the heart disease, diabetes, and cancer that are lurking in my genes if I don't choose to disable those genes every single day.

REWARDS AND PUNISHMENT

One thing I have known for a long time on an intellectual level but that I recently felt slip into my working reality is that each time I feed myself, I am choosing whether to punish or reward myself.  I ate some donuts yesterday.  I haven't eaten donuts in years and they were in my home (VERY rare occurrence) and I thought, it's been years - literally years.  I can have a treat.  But was that a treat? NO!  It was a punishment!  I harmed myself!  You don't reward yourself by harming yourself.  I KNEW I was harming myself.  I know too much now to fall for the old, "just this once, I deserve a treat now and then" bullshit.  I DESERVE to lose this weight and feel vibrant, energetic and healthy.  I DESERVE to enjoy my life with little fear of heart disease, diabetes or other diseases causing me to lose my quality of life.  I DESERVE to give myself every opportunity to be around to see my amazing grandsons grow into amazing men, fall in love, become husbands and fathers if they choose to and to make the world a better place.  In the big picture, who the hell cares about the mouthfeel of a donut?!  But I ate the damn thing because I have slipped more and more over the last 2 years into addictive thinking.  I dwell on fears and worries, I obsess over food continually.  There is rarely an hour in the day when I am not thinking about what I could "get away with" eating.  I've redeveloped the habit of hitting a drive-through or buying something at the deli every time I go out!  "Well, at least it's just a bean burrito."  "Well, this horrible meal won't do as much harm if I don't eat anything else all day."  Bitch please!  I  have slipped backwards a lot more than I ever thought I could and it is time I acknowledged that fact.  It is also time I recognize and deal with the food addict aspect of my problems.  I honestly wish I could afford to enroll in Chef AJ's Ultimate Weight Loss program but she generously shares a lot of information and support for free so I'll be taking advantage of that.  I know from experience that I cope better if I jump straight into the deep end rather than inching in toe first so... this is me, jumping into the deep end again.  Today, smoothies and salads and veggie soup.  The plan is to do that until Friday or Saturday.  And then to juice fast or water fast throughout the rest of March.  I won't use budget as an excuse to quit.  If I can't afford produce to juice then I will simply water fast.  That is free.  This is the best way I know to reset my taste buds and get the addictive crap out of my system and reboot my enthusiasm for this lifestyle.  I will blog every morning to keep myself accountable.  Even if it is just a line or two, I'll post something.  Even if I have to say I screwed the pooch, I will post something.  Pass the noseplug, I'm jumping in.

CANCER - THE BIGGEST BOOGEYMAN OF THEM ALL

In the Spring of 1980, I graduated high school as excited as any 18 year old could be to head off to college in the Fall.  I was scheduled to move into a Freshman dorm in late August.  In July, I discovered I was pregnant.  I was no longer in a relationship with the baby's father, although he has been a wonderful father to our daughter, Bonni, and a good friend to me all these years.   Needless to say, I was not allowed to move into the dorm and had to cancel my classes.  I did make it to OSU.  I just started later than planned.  My gorgeous and amazing daughter has been an incredible gift in my life and is the one with me in the picture of the 5K I ran last month.  I don't regret having that baby for one second.  But let me tell you, being completely single and pregnant at 18 is no picnic.  Believe it or not, I was not "that" kind of girl but the stigma was certainly there.
Of course, none of the boys I hung around with were comfortable hanging around with me as they didn't want people to think it was their kid.  There were two exceptions to that, John and Don.  This post is about Don.  Don was 21 and a student of my mother's.  He was Mexican-American and very good-looking.  We were only friends but he was always there for me.  He didn't care if people thought it was his baby.  When people assumed that he just went along with it and winked at me.  Don had not had an easy life.  He had been on his own, quite literally, since he was 12.  He was really smart in the important ways but wasn't really "educated."  He had gone to job corps to learn a trade and was an ideal student there.  He made sure not to cause any trouble if he could help it because he was so appreciative of the chance he had to make his life better.  He graduated job corps the same Spring that I graduated high school.  He spent weekends and holidays at our house because he didn't have any family and Mom had become a mentor to him.  He was like a brother to me.
We lived in Guthrie at this time and in the Summer, Don got a job in Oklahoma City.  He stayed with us until he got his job and an apartment.  He found a roommate to share expenses and was so proud that he had pulled himself up out of homelessness and was now earning a good living.   I missed him so much that Fall but he would come for weekends and since I was babysitting a lot during that time, he would just hang out and help me babysit. He was fantastic with kids.  I knew he would be a really wonderful "Uncle Don" to my baby and a wonderful father someday.
But none of that was meant to be.
My baby was due on my 19th birthday, Feb 11, 1981.  She didn't come.  Don was planning to spend Valentine's Day with me and be at the hospital with me when she was born but on the 13th, late in the evening, he went to the Emergency Room with severe abdominal pain.  The doctors initially thought pancreatitis.  As it turned out, Don had cancer in his liver.  He was admitted to the hospital on Valentine's Day and I went into labor that day a few hours later.  We didn't know his diagnosis at that point.  I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl on February 15 and on the 16th I expected to go home.  But they had me stay an extra day.  My mom worked at this hospital and my doctor was my best friend, Patti's, dad.  They had chosen to keep me an extra day pending Don's test results so they could tell me he had liver cancer before I was sent home.  They were that worried about my reaction.
I went home with my baby, Bonni, on the 17th and was chomping at the bit to get to the hospital in the City to see Don.  I had a birthday gift for him and he was dying to see the baby.  We had talked on the phone several times and I could tell his spirits were low and I knew Bonni would cheer him right up.  Did I mention that Valentine's Day was Don's birthday?  He was 22.
When I finally got the okay from the doctors to visit him, it had only been a couple of weeks since I had seen him and yet he didn't even look like the same person.  His abdomen was distended and the rest of him looked skeletal.  They had already started him on chemotherapy and he was so sick he could barely sit up.  When he held the baby, his face lit up and all I could think was that this was death saying farewell to life.  I wasn't wrong.
People who know me often wonder why someone as pragmatic as I am absolutely hates Friday the 13th.  I stay home with my family on any Friday the 13th if AT ALL possible.  February 13, 1981 when Don was admitted to the hospital was a Friday.  And on Friday, March 13, they told us (we were put down as his next of kin, much to the fury of him mother who had arrived from Mexico) that the cancer had metastacized throughout his entire body and he was beyond their help.  They sent him home with us to die.  Don died in April.
This was the first time I had ever seen cancer up close and personal.  It happened during an already emotional time for me and left a deep, enduring scar.  I become terrified of cancer.  I lived in mortal fear of cancer touching the lives of my family again and viewed it as my ultimate worst nightmare.  When I was diagnosed with Pagets disease less than 2 years ago, the doctor was concerned about the possibility of cancer and it sent me into an absolute tailspin.  I always knew that if I ever got any kind of cancer that I would want them to treat it VERY aggressively to the bitter end.
My how time changes things.  Over the past year of learning and changing my life, my diet, my health, my outlook, I have read more research, watched more documentaries, read more books concerning cancer than I ever would have thought possible.  I always avoided anything that mentioned cancer.  Some weird fear that if I thought about it, I would be inviting it in somehow.  Nobody ever said phobias were rational.  But I started hearing stories here and there about cancer being halted or healed with the diet I had chosen.  (Actually, it chose me but that is another story.)  So I gave in to my curiosity and watched "The Gerson Miracle."  I was flabbergasted.  Then I watched, "Crazy, Sexy Cancer."  I looked around and started seeing story after story of cancer healed.  Doctors saying, chemotherapy or die.  But they refused chemotherapy and lived!
This week, thanks to referrals from the good people on my favorite facebook group, Let Food Be Thy Medicine, I watched two more amazing documentaries, "Eating" and "Healing Cancer from the Inside Out."  The second one, my 18 year old watched with me growing more furious by the minute.  She is becoming a regular warrior for Whole-Food, Plant-Based nutrition which makes me a very proud mama.
I have spoken many times about all the benefits I've gained from my new lifestyle but one I haven't mentioned because I couldn't think how to make you understand what it means to me, is that I no longer fear cancer.  I could NEVER have said that a year ago.  I would have felt that it was an absolutely certain way to make sure that I was diagnosed with it very soon.  But it holds no terrors for me now.  Don's body was so eaten up with aggressive cancer cells by the time it was discovered that it is entirely likely that no protocol on the planet would have saved him.  But it sure would have been worth a try and I have NO doubt that it would have made his last weeks or months on this earth less horrific than the chemotherapy did.  But the things that I have learned about cancer from these films has removed that horrible, nagging fear that was always there in the back of my mind placing a shadow over every day of my life.
Just a few of the things that I learned from these films.
1.  Everyone has cancer cells in their body.  The question is why does it grow and become deadly in some people and not others.
2.  Animal protein is far and away cancer's favorite food, especially dairy.
3.  Deny the human body animal protein and cancer cells stop growing.  Yes.  It really is that simple.  Why hasn't the public been made aware of that fact with trumpets and whistles and dancing in the streets?  Politics and money baby.  Meat and dairy lobbies are HUGE in Washington, not to mention big pharma.  Do you think the big 3 want people to know that giving up meat and dairy and NOT taking poison from the multi-billion dollar cancer drug industry is the real answer?  Think that is "conspiracy theory?"  Would you like to buy some ocean front property in Oklahoma? Seriously, does anyone out there still doubt that the big money industries pull the strings in Washington?  Really?
4.  Chemotherapy is poison.  It is my personal belief that many of the people who supposedly die of cancer actually die with cancer but they die OF chemotherapy.
5.  There is a reason that clinics like The Gerson Institute are in Mexico or Europe.  In the good old U.S. of A, doctors will lose their license and go to jail if they even suggest there is an answer to cancer other than surgery or drug protocols.
6.  The AMA is just as much a criminal organization as the FDA.  When one of the ladies in Healing Cancer from the Inside Out said that her doctors informed her that if she refused chemotherapy, they would refuse her disability claim, I just about dropped the jug of juice I was making and I thought Harmoni (my 18 year old) was going to choke.  "You have stage 4 cancer and mere months to live but if you refuse chemopoisoning, we will deny your disability claim."  Yes.  That happened.

There is SO much more but you just really really really owe it to yourself and your family to at least watch these videos.  Be open-minded.  Don't allow the crap that has been fed to us by the FDA and marketing experts over decades to stop you from at least thinking about what they have to say.  Is it really scarier to think of giving up your barbecued ribs and milkshakes than it is to think of chemotherapy and radiation?
Cancer is a tricky thing.  There are many, many carcinogenic agents in the world we live in today so nobody can say for certain that they will never get cancer.  I'm not saying that I have suddenly become certain that I can never be diagnosed with cancer.  I did pretty much everything wrong for 50 years so a year on a new diet lifestyle is not insurance.  But I fully believe my risk factor goes down every day.   I know that I am creating an environment in my body that facilitates it's ability to defeat cancer cells as all our bodies are meant to do.  And I promise you, I will NEVER undergo chemotherapy.  If I ever did have to battle cancer I would do it on my own terms with my dignity and quality of life as intact as possible.  I'll take the Gerson protocol over chemo hands down. And the thought of the mere word cancer doesn't terrify me anymore now than the words car wreck.   Sure those things happen but I am doing everything in my power to avoid them.  I am giving my body the tools it needs to win that battle.

THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF... AND KILLED A GENERATION OF PEOPLE

First off, I am down to less than a month until my first ever 5K on my Rebirthday!!!  Can I get a YEEHAW!!  I am completing 5K on a fairly regular basis and walk a couple of miles on the days I don't do the 3.1.  The only reason I'm not at least walking 3.1 miles every day is because my area has been under an "extreme heat advisory" lately.  Since the Glow Run is held after dark, I try to do my walk/jog at dusk but lately I have been  having to wait until around 10 at night or else it is still in the 90s!  Come race day, if it is in the 90s after dark, I'll be able to do it, I just probably won't be able to run as much as I'd like.  But even if I walk the whole thing and it takes me an hour, I will finish it.  And I call this my "first" 5K because I have no doubt whatever that there will be more to come.  I have my eye on a couple in September and October.

Now on to what is on my mind today.  I just had to make a quick run to the nearest store for a couple of spices I was out of.  I needed them for the soup I just put into the crock pot (navy beans, purple potatos, tomatos and squash).  As I was checking out, I noticed the Woman's World Magazine.  It's a weekly that I used to read all the time.  I bought one for the first time in a long time last week because I suspected the diet touted no the cover might have something to do with juicing or smoothies.  It said "CURE FOOD ADDICTION; END JUNK-FOOD CRAVINGS!  LOSE 24lbs YOUR FIRST WEEK!"  If you aren't familiar with this magazine, it has screaming headlines like that for a different diet every week.  Dr. Oz is featured on a fairly regular basis.  Here's a few recent covers to give you an idea:

 

 
 

You get the idea.  Just about every diet plan out there has been featured at least once in this magazine.  They don't try to "take sides" or decide which is best but today, it just struck me, no wonder people are so skeptical when they hear people like me talking about what I've done!!  We are  bombarded every day with a different "miracle cure" for diabetes and obesity and thyroid problems and blood pressure!  And they are all contradictory!  "Fat is the bad guy; avoid fat!"  NO!  Fat is a healthy part of your diet; avoid sugar!"  NO NO NO! "Moderation is the key!"  And after all the extreme sounding, contradictory, complicated varieties thrown at us, boy does moderation just start to sound like common sense!?  But then we try moderation.  We try to just use portion control and take baby steps and just reduce our calories and increase our exercise and we fail and fail again.  Some of us fail BIG!

So some of us (I'm talking about me here) give up.  We begin to really believe that we are just meant to be fat and miserable all our lives.  When we see it happening to our kids too, it's harder for us to accept that maybe they are meant to be fat and miserable but what else are we to do?  We are hardened into skepticism or downright cynicism because of all the loud claims thrown at us every day.  We are beaten down into hopelessness by all the headlines about how little chance we have statistically of really getting the weight off and keeping it off.  Why bother?

The headline today said something about curing diabetes by drinking red wine on the new "Mediterranean Atkins" diet.  I cringed because I have a pretty good idea of what any version of Atkins is going to do to a diabetic over time and it isn't pretty.  But the thing about Atkins was that he got you some pretty impressive initial results and it just felt like he was thinking outside the box.  Actually, IMHO the first ones in a long while to think outside the box and start really looking at how human beings were meant to thrive were the Paleo people.  I admire them for that and I honestly think they are on the right track.  Haven't reached the station yet but on the right tracke;o)  I've written before about that so I won't go there again but I really do think they at least are headed in the right direction getting off of the processed, packaged food train and looking at lifestyle instead of just a temporary diet change to reach a specific goal.

It really is a big problem in this culture that we are so hardened to claims that dietary changes can have miraculous results.  The "diet industry" has created a boy who cried wolf.  We don't believe in any dietary changes because so many false claims have been thrown around.  And that's a shame.  Because dietary change really is the miracle we've all been looking for.  I really hate to think that others will have to get as desperate and near to losing their battle altogether as I did before they take that one last shot at a miracle cure.  And it just breaks my heart to think of all the people who will never grab hold of this life line and take their life back.

As for me, I am thankful every single day for the every day joys of living a normal life, free of pain and disease.  I will continue to share my story whenever I get the chance because word of mouth, one person at a time is really our only hope for the time being.  Eventually enough people will know someone personally who has experienced this kind of healing that enough doctors will get enough pressure to explain this etc etc.  And eventually, the well-being of the population will become more of a priority than keeping Big Pharma... big.

Juice on ya'll.  We got this.  One person at a time if necessary.

Plateaus, Set Points and Other Boogeymen

I have said many times that even if I never lost another pound, I would continue to eat a plant-based diet and drink green juice because it has given me back my health.  I would reassure others who hit weight plateaus for a week or two to just keep at it and the weight would start to go down again.  Our bodies sometimes need time to adjust to this new way of being and doing, especially if we have been very overweight for a very long time.  I had been from 280 to 340 for a couple of decades.  So mid-March when I hit a plateau, I had to put my money where my mouth is so to speak.  I hit a plateau.  I hit 265 and my body froze, looked at me in horror and said, "Are you kidding me?  We're melting like the wicked witch after she got watered down by Dorothy! This ain't right!!!  Do you WANT to disappear?  What if there's a famine?  This is dangerous!  You can't just go losing weight willy nilly I tell you!"  
It didn't help that I had several extra-curricular stress activities pop up during this same time frame.  If you don't know or understand what the stress hormone, Cortisol, can do to weight loss efforts, look up Dr. John Bergman on youtube.  He explains it better than anyone else I've seen.  
So for a couple of weeks, I was totally zen about this plateau.  Seriously.  I really didn't let it bother me because I understood what was happening.  I had hit a lower weight than I'd seen in at least 15 years.  When it had been a month, I started to get worried in that scared, secret, small place inside me that has always feared this new found health and energy will be ripped away.  Right at this same time I was getting super busy trying to pack and clean to move out of this house finally.  After several months of planning to move, we are finally actually moving.  We HAVE to be out of this house by the end of the month even if it means camping out at the lake until we can find something else.  Long story....  anyway, I was extremely busy and having to use every coping mechanism I had not to let the stress get to me.  We had a very, very hard winter financially along with some other life stressors so it was no surprise, really, that the weight loss stalled.  Knowing and understanding that and dealing with seeing that number stay the same every day are two different things.  Actually, it didn't stay exactly the same.  My weight, as with most people, can fluctuate 3-5 pounds in any given week which is the main reason I usually weigh daily. So I had hit that 265 for about 2 days when my weight started doing a gentle rollercoaster up and down and up and down from 266 to 269 for weeks.  So I put the scale away.  I didn't want worry over that number to pull my focus away from the main thing which is my health.  I just played Dory and kept on swimming... and eating my plants and making my juice.  As Spring came on strong, I did what I had always planned to do and shifted more to raw fruits and salads and less soups and starches. Not a big shift but just a bit more of this and a bit less of that.  It felt right.  I felt a boost in energy almost immediately.  
I was out of town for over a week and got home last Wednesday night.  Thursday morning I decided to pull out the scale and see where I was at and it said 266.  Okay.  Saturday morning, 264.  Hey!  Monday morning, today, 261!  Yeah!  Bye-bye plateau!  I learned from you.  I let you be and you let me be and now we must part ways.  See ya!
That plateau lasted nearly two months.  I learned that I really do have the power of my convictions within me to put my health first.  I really felt that my body would eventually begin to seek a healthier weight once again.  But I knew that if it didn't or if it took a year or two for that to happen, I would be okay in the meantime as long as I continued to flood my body with real nutrition.  I learned some valuable lessons about myself.  I have said many times that how I feel is far more important than how I look and I proved to myself that this was true.  I've said that I have learned to trust my body.  Now I've proven it.  I've also proved to myself that if the scale becomes a detriment, I can just put it away.  
I recently watched a video shared by my friend, Lori.  It was posted by a bariatric surgeon and explained how our bodies will establish "set points" at a very high weight.  He went into the anthropology of it all.  His point was to make us feel hopeless to lose the weight without surgery.  FALSE.  The problem is that most people hit those points where their body is trying to adjust to the changes you've made, the weight loss slows or stops so they tighten down on the calories even more.  They starve their cells which makes the body freak out even more.  "Starvation!  She's trying to kill us!"  If you hit your plateau - or your new "set point" - and you just keep FLOODING your body with amazing nutrition, your body WILL relax and realize that it is safe to allow more of that weight to go.  Truth.  Doctors selling hopelessness to line their pockets make me sick.  Right up until I drink my green juice or eat my bowl of fruit or salad.  THAT makes me very, very well:)
JUICE ON YA'LL.  WE GOT THIS!!

Exciting Plans for March

So, February is over and I'm glad to see it go.  The weather is gradually getting better and better although there are still way too few sunny days for my taste.  We are supposed to get ice and frigid temps for Sunday and Monday but then it is supposed to warm up to normal temps for this area and time of year.  So with the majority of the really cold stuff behind us, I am confident enough to go ahead and start another juice fast.  I'm juicing at least through March and maybe part or all of April.  I'm calling this my March Juicing Madness!
I reached my second 10% goal in February so that was a huge victory that put me at 275.5 and I actually got down to 273.  But overall February weight loss was quite slow.  I believe that it is probably normal for our bodies to hold onto the weight tighter when we are exposed to frequent subzero temps as a safety mechanism and I was definitely exposed.  Not as in, "Baby It's Cold Outside" so I'll stay in my house where it's nice and warm.  Oh no!  I'm talking cold as in my house is a pile of crap and you can't keep it warm.  Cannot.  I have been freezing my assets off this winter.  But I just feel in my bones that my body is ready to start letting it go again so as a kick start, I'm back on Da Juice!  I have my brain in juicing gear so that I'm not even looking at or thinking about the chewed stuff.  That is the hard-to-describe difference between wanting to do a juice fast and having it just not take off like I did earlier this winter and a juice fast that is working for me.  I'm in the zone baby.  
I'm really pumped because the 10% goal I'm working on right now is to go from 275.5 to 248.  Making 248 will put me just 8 pounds away from having lost 100lbs.  So I've been hoping that I could hit 248 by the end of March but now I'm thinking that I will go on into April however far it takes to actually hit 100lbs gone.  I'm really going to hit 100lbs gone!  Like within the next few weeks!  How exciting is that?!
I made a youtube vid about my March plans that I've also posted here on my blog and I am getting ready to upload one about willpower.  I said I didn't believe in willpower and a friend said she was curious about that and I should make a vid so I did:)  It'll be up shortly.  I don't usually feel like I really articulate what I'm trying to say in these videos which is frustrating for me as public speaking is another one of those things that I used to be good at:/  But it is a personal challenge I've set for myself.  It's almost therapeutic.  
So that's where I'm at for March.  I'm planning to weigh in on Fridays so I'll at least post progress blogs on Friday or Saturday of each week.
JUICE ON! WE GOT THIS!!!

Winter 2014 Juice Fast Day 1

First off, I have to start by saying my heart goes out to those affected by this insane cold front that has blanketed the nation.  Many areas are getting down in the 30 below area!!  Here in Oklahoma it was in the single digits most of the time for the last two days.  Windchill last time I checked yesterday during the day was around negative 12 degrees.  My main source of heat is out so we have portable electric radiator style heaters.  They do all right when it is in the 20s or 30s but single digits are too much for them.  It was 35deg in my house when I went to bed last night.  It is supposed to get up in the 40s and 50s for the rest of the foreseeable forecast so we're fine here.  But so much of the country is just frozen. My husband is snowed in at a truck stop in Gary, Indiana.  And this cold is apparently hard on heating systems because my daughter and several friends have reported their heat going out.  However, my main thoughts and prayers at a time like this are for the homeless.  The shelters are just woefully inadequate, at least around here.  I feel bad because I didn't take any hats and scarves to the shelters this year at all.  The last couple of winters have been so mild it sort of fell off my radar.  So my knitting challenge for the duration of my juice fast is going to switch to just making as many hats as I can, both adult and infant, as well as scarves and glittens.  If they report another cold front headed for us, I'll take them to John 3:16 shelter.  If not, I'll send them to the reservation.  (To make the time pass faster during my juice fast, I'm knitting for charity.  When I set myself a knitting deadline, the time always flies by.)

Now, my report for Monday.  I have to report on the previous day, obviously, since I can't know for certain what all I will do today!  So, weight will be current mornings weight.  Food will be from the previous day.  Got that?  So tomorrow will read "Day 1 - Again"

MONDAY, 6 Jan 2014
Weigh in: 282.3
Juice: 3 pints
Liquids: 16oz water, 16oz broth from cabbage soup with pepper
Food: 1 banana, 3 tangerines, 1 baked potato with salsa

Detox symptoms: Yes!  My eyes are all gummy and I have a headache and some nausea.  Someone just asked me yesterday if I experienced nausea last time and I said, "No, not really."  And then in the wee hours of this morning, bam.  Nothing too unbearable, but not all that pleasant either.  I also feel pretty upbeat and cheerful from some fool reason.  But I do feel like the glitches on the reboot website are maybe more than I can handle right now without ripping someone's head off so I'll wait a while to log in.

And, by the way, it is up to 40 degrees inside my house!  Whoopee!  I am planning to also include any workouts I get in on these posts but I didn't do any yesterday.  Maybe today or tomorrow at the latest it will be warm enough for me to take off some layers (ha! I typed lawyers at first - I'll take off some lawyers) and work out with my resistance band:)

Stay warm everyone.  And pray for those who can't.

Progress Pic As Promised

Okay, so this is not exactly earth shattering but there is a difference.  Pic on the left is August 23rd, 2013 at 340.  Pic on the right is January 2nd, 2014 (that's 4 months and 10 days) at 287.

I was going to try to use the same clothes but it was too freaking cold!  It was hard enough to take off my jacket for this one.  and the next one probably won't even be able to be in the same spot since we are moving soon. (Thank God!)  The only measurement I'm going to share right now because I am being lazy, is that my waist went from 52" to 45" so far but trust me, my hips, legs and upper arms are all smaller too.  Now... bring on the next 50!  Now THAT will be a progress pic!!

So for my daily update that really will hopefully become daily:/  Friday and Saturday, I had a couple juices along with a couple pieces of fruit and a big ol' salad.  Today, I'm having more juice, less fruit and a veggie soup that I'm mostly just taking the broth off of.  It has herbs and spices, very little salt, cabbage, mushrooms, squash, green beans and a few stray carrots.  It's yummy:)  I plan to scoop out the veggies and put them in the blender for a cream soup for the girls and I'll set back the broth for me.

Weight this morning 284.
Exercise - 0 (I usually don't exercise on Sunday.)

JUICE WITH ME!!

Welcome 2014!

This is the first time I can ever remember being happy on New Years.  Usually New Years, like my birthday, is an occasion for me to try very very hard not to fall into a terrible depression; or at least to not let it show to my family.  People talking about their New Year's resolutions just reminded me that I had let yet another year go by without doing anything to change the dismal direction of my life.  Thank God for Joe Cross and his movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and for all the other wise and wonderful people and resources that it led me to.  Dr. T Colin Campbell and Dr. Esselstyn among others.  Today I can honestly post this on facebook and mean it!  (As I, in fact, did;o)

That pretty much sums up how I feel about New Years.  I lost 54 lbs during the last 18 weeks of 2013.  And I have every expectation that I will lose double that during 2014.  That will put me at the weight I graduated high school in 1980.  I don't know what my final ideal weight will be but I know that will be an unbelievable victory and that I will be in radiant good health.  I have reclaimed my dreams and plans.  I think of 2013 as the year I came back to life.  If you read my blog, you know that this is not hyperbole.  Now here is how I think of 2014:

I am not one for big, involved New Year's resolutions but I have made some plans for the new year.  I eat a clean, healthy diet but I am still growing and learning in this lifestyle.  I am not fully raw, just high raw and I am not even 100% vegan.  For now, this is cool with me.  Maybe I'll "evolve" beyond this and maybe I won't.  But I really do feel a need to both track my food for my own benefit and to be accountable.  So I plan to start posting here daily instead of randomly.  I may frequently only post what I ate and what specific exercises I did but there will be something every day unless my computer or ISP goes down.  I'll also post my weight every Friday.  And everyone has been after me to do progress photos since I've lost over 50lbs now but trust me, since I started at 340, 50lbs isn't a dramatic change to the naked eye.  But I'll do them. I'll try to do them and post them tomorrow.  And I will post progress pics every 50 bs or every 4 months, whichever comes first or seems to make more sense at the time.

And, for the record, I am starting another juice fast Friday.  I will go to the store tomorrow for supplies and start juice only the next day.  I am committing to 30 days of nothing but juice. Period.  After the 30 days, I'll decide on a weekly basis.  I'm hoping to go 90 days.  I may end up having a one day a week salad and I will be having a special, healthy, vegan meal at a great restaurant for my birthday on February 11th but hopefully I can do 90 days other than those exceptions.  I have no problem with making up my own rules about my juice fast as I have nothing to prove to myself this time.  I am just pushing for as much health and weight loss as I can possible get in the next three months.  I have things to do and horses to ride come this summer so we got to get this party started!!  

Hopefully, my third long juice fast will be late this summer when I have a garden of my own to harvest and I'll be juicing as fresh and organic as it gets.  Yeah babay!  JUICE ON my friends!  2014 is Going. To. ROCK!!

Three Types of People You Meet in Juicing Communities

I have watched all the youtube videos and read all the blogs I could find by and about people who lose weight juice fasting and/or a whole food/plant-based diet/high raw diet etc. Yes. A lot of people do regain the weight but the ones who have the courage to come back and tell you what went on will tell you exactly why. (Check out Steve Crider's latest videos STEVE CRIDER YOUTUBE CHANNEL- love that guy because he is honest and never gives up!) They regained the weight because they went back to eating whatever they used to eat that made them fat in the first place.  If you do what you've always done, you will end up where you've always been. I read and watched and researched and read some more.  I saw that many people regain the weight with juicing and WFPB diets just as they do with WW, Atkins, South Beach and Weight-loss surgery.  I took all that in and used it to motivate me to really research and plan so that when I was finished with my first actual juice fast, I would have a solid plan in place for what I was going to eat for the rest of my life to continue to lose weight and eventually maintain a healthy weight, feel great, live an active and joyful life and love my food all at the same time. And I have. I NEVER would have believed that I would love eating like this and I sure as heck never thought I would LOVE eating like this. I grew up a country girl. We raised our own beef, chickens, and pork. I showed livestock in the shows and went hunting with my dad. Vegans and vegetarians were extremist nutcases. (Note - Personally, I still think PETA is nuttier than fruitcake.) Well, call me nutty because I am now very near vegan and I LOVE what I eat every single day. And my two teenagers have gone along for the ride and are losing weight as well and they love the food too! And my 19 year old was one of those kids who never touched a veggie other than a tomato or canned corn EVER before we started this. (No! I'm NOT counting french fries.  That is a fat, not a veggie, in  my book.)

Here's the thing. I really believe there are three types of people around juice fasting communities. Those who think they want this, try it and, within days or maybe a couple of weeks at most, decide it is too hard. Even though detox has been explained to them, they may become certain that juice is making them sick.  They drop out and are never heard from again.  Then there are those who throw themselves into it and white knuckle their way through a nice long juice only fast while counting the days til they can once again hit the Burger King drive through or pat themselves on the back for having more veggies on their pizza than they used to. They lose a ton of weight and then promptly gain it all back. It is absolutely true and can't be repeated often enough; If you do what you've always done, you end up where you've always been. One hundred percent accurate!  Funny how that works:/  

Then there are those who use the time on juice fast to allow the process to fundamentally change them. If you are one of these people, you come to realize that this doesn't just change what you are doing for a few days or weeks or even months; it changes everything. It is physical, mental and emotional. You discover things about yourself that you didn't know before including inner reserves of strength. You educate yourself. You discover that your weight gain had nothing to do with lack of willpower and that you've been duped by a huge industry into becoming addicted to things that harm you in order to make them richer. You get pissed and You. Change. Everything. And you love it! Free of all the salt and sugar and chemicals, your taste buds come back to life! You rediscover that the foods given us by our creator actually are wonderful to the taste without all the chemicals and that foods that aren't over-processed and overcooked and genetically modified taste better and sustain our bodies the way they were intended to be. You relearn what healthy feels like. You rediscover having energy to burn.  You realize the miraculous thing that the human body really is!  It begins to heal itself!  I have a number of friends who have gotten off of blood pressure medication just as I have and off of asthma meds and acid reflux meds like my daughter has and even off of INSULIN!  The body can and will heal and regenerate itself if you flood it with all the nutrients it needs.

I'm NOT saying everyone has to give up meat or dairy or gluten as I did. But it is certainly wise to very cautiously add those substances back in and pay attention to the effect on your body.  Most of the ones I know who are still losing or maintaining after a long period of time have definitely made whole-food/plant based foods the center of their diet. And I literally do not know one who has maintained while still eating a processed, junk-food based diet. I really, really recommend you check out Dan Miller's web page here: DAN MILLER WEB PAGE  or go to DAN MILLER JUICING & PLANT-BASED FOOD  and look over his discussion thread there.  I'm in there as Natshell:) Dan has been at this a long time and has more knowledge and information available on this topic (not to mention succes at losing and maintaining for a long period) than anyone else I know of and he is great at answering questions.

I assume most people who find my blog have already watched Fat Sick and Nearly Dead but if you haven't, do so!  I also strongly recommend anyone who hasn't already, please watch Forks Over Knives. If you are a reader, read The China Study, The Pleasure Trap, Wheat Belly and Clean. Check out youtube videos and websites by Dr. McDougall, Dr Fuhrman, Dr Esselstyn and Rip Esselstyn, Douglas Lisle and Robert Lustig. Let one discovery lead to another. Make it your business and your top priority to discover what food/long-term diet will best serve your weight and your health once you aren't juice fasting anymore. Shouldn't your health and well-being be a top priority?  Lots of people do regain weight after juice fasting. But YOU don't have to be one of them. 

Guest Blogger Reynolds - Surely Juice fasting isn't (gasp) ever difficult!?

Hello Ladies and Germs, it appears to me that contrary to all previous articulated notions to the contrary, doing a juice fast can, for some, in certain specific circumstances, be just a tinge on the difficult side.

Who would have thought? Let's see.... ceasing to chew food after decades of that thrice daily ritual ... ingesting liquids that look like your grandpa in South Louisiana just dipped a pitcher into the swamp to conduct mosquito larvae experiments... giving up our favorite foods of Snickers and Cornflakes on rye and cold Chef-Boyardee ravioli with apricot and dark chocolate pieces... living in a world where inundation from food sellers is more difficult than winning the lottery three times in one week... being ridiculed, criticized and called crazy by our FRIENDS!!! ... having removed from our listening pleasure the melodic sound of freshly produced cellophane wrappers crackling in our fat little fingers... having that little invisible monkey that piggybacks around with you screeching that he is hungry at the top of his lungs ... and the icing on the cake, so to speak, having to wash the dog in the backyard as your sadistic neighbor grills burgers and bacon every night. Then you realized that you've bathed the dog in the back yard four times this week already.

This is a big head game, this juice fasting. It is an exercise in distraction, illumination, redirection, denial and wistfully hoping.

It is all about dealing with THIS hour. Whatever it takes is what it takes. Taking a walk, cleaning the bathroom, calling your mother, vacuuming the car, weeding the roses, reading a book, watching Fat Sick and Nearly Dead again. Whatever it takes. The big thing is you have to believe that rebooting is beneficial and worth the sacrifices. Has stepping on the scale and seeing a smaller number show up, does that spin your top? How about knowing that you just began the process of expelling decades of stored toxins in your body, likely extending your life and making your remaining years healthier? If none of that works, then get creative. Try following a squirrel into a tree and do the squirrel bark at him until he looks mad enough to jump on you. Get creative!

Just please, please........... don't go eat 19 twinkees and a bag of Oreos and expect to feel good tomorrow, or feel good about yourself. It is not gonna happen. We are rooting you on gal. We've walked that walk. It is all about THIS HOUR. So just win this hour. Whatever it takes.

- See more at: http://community.rebootwithjoe.com/discussions/topic/100-lbs-or-more-starting-a-9113-30-day-reboot?p=135#sthash.Ys8JReho.dpuf

Dear Doctor, Why?

I have spoken many times about all the medical issues I faced before starting my journey to self-healing and weight loss.  It was pretty grim.  Over the last few decades, I (and my insurance companies) have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to make my life bearable.  In all those years, I found pretty much zero help or relief.  I just got progressively worse and worse.  The answer to many if not all the problems I was having was as simple as changing my grocery list.  Yes, I spend a little more on groceries now but, recall that "hundreds of thousands" I mentioned?  Not hyperbole folks. So there's expensive and then there's expeeensive.  And there is more than one sort of "cost."  Basically, what's it worth to you?  Expensive is a relative term  A $50k house is a bargain basement find!  But a $50k car is expensive!  What's the value of the thing is a a better question that what is the cost.  So to me, my new diet is not expensive.  For it's value, it is quite cheap.  How much do you spend on perscriptions?  What if your food was your food and your medicine?

First off, I find it laughable when people say to me that they can't afford all this "expensive" produce but it is actually a serious issue for many so let's talk about that for a moment.  I understand tight budgets.  No really, I do.  We have been on the nothing-but-ramen-noodles-all-week diet more than a few times.  I know from broke.  But most of the time in recent months, before becoming whole foods/plant based and juicing (WFPB from now on) we spent around $125-175 per month on food for the family.  We also ate out at least once, often two or three times every week.  It was our payday ritual.   We usually got pizza or Sonic or Arby's or Taco Bell.  Taco Bell and Little Caesars are cheap for those weeks we had a more limited food budget.  But that was an additional $15 to $60 per week or more.  And then let's add up all the stops at Quick Trip for soda and a "snack."  Am I the only one who would routinely spend $5 on #%$!* every time I filled up the gas tank of my car?  I think not.  So I was spending $150-200 per week on crap that was killing me.  Literally.  Literally crap and literally killing me.  Not to mention the money I was spending on medications I no longer need. Nowadays, I routinely spend $180 a week on food.  I haven't spent a solitary dime on fast food, packaged junk or convenience store snacks in 4 months.  Yup, that WFPB diet is just too expensive.  Still think it is too expensive?  Check out Ellen Jaffe Jones.  You can find her on facebook and youtube.  I am not sure if her website is working but she also wrote a book called Vegan on $4 a day.  And then there is this blog: http://homelessformyhealth.blogspot.com/.   Go read it.  Seriously.  AFTER reading that blog, you come tell me that a healthy diet is too expensive.

Now, on to the things that are really on my mind today.  A couple of things I have been hearing lately really have me pissed.   Both have to do with doctors.  First off, why the holy heck in all the years I've been to doctor after doctor, spent many weeks in hospitals and had dozens of very expensive tests done and been lectured about my weight continuously, has no doctor ever, once suggested that I had a leaky gut or gluten intolerance.  Never once has any of them suggested I try eliminating sugar or dairy.  Not ONE medical professional has ever suggested that people who eat primarily a plant based diet have little to no heart disease, cancer or diabetes.  You know why?  Because they know squat about nutrition.  Seriously.  They can't tell you what they don't know.  There is, of course,  the problem of  the bought and paid for research they are being fed by USDA, FDA and Big Pharma plus there is the absolute absence of any real education.  In medical school, our future physicians get a few hours of training in nutrition.  Hours.  NOT class hours or credit hours.  As in your history class counts as 4 credit hours.  No.  A few actual clock hours of their entire education.  Don't believe me? Check this out:

The approximate time devoted to nutrition science over the first two years of my medical education is a measly 6 hours....  James Haddad  [http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/12/nutrition-taught-medical-school.html]  After the first two years they are in actual medical settings as interns and residents.  With live patients.

Your doctor was not taught nutrition unless he went out on his own time and dollar and researched it himself.  Since doctors in training have all that.. ya know... spare time.  And since becoming a doctor, he is consistently fed the SAD conventional wisdom that is killing us all by degrees.  So when people ask me if my doctor is on board with me going WFPB and all the juicing, my response is, "I don't give a rat's tail."  My nutrition is up to me.  

The other thing that set me off was several instances of hearing that what few doctors actually got the memo that WFPB diets can prevent a host of diseases dropped the ball anyway.  Mostly.  There are those few voices in the wilderness but your average physician in your average town or city?  Well, the prevailing attitude seems to be that they don't bother recommending any radical change in diet because patients will likely find it too challenging and won't follow through.  Changing your way of eating is too hard.  Why bother when weight loss surgery is so much easier.  And heck, many insurance plans are starting to cover it now too!  Bonus!  (In case you missed it, insert heavy sarcasm there.)  So if even one doctor over the years looked at me and thought, "Damn woman!  All you need to do is make salad the main dish!  Throw out the cheese and the bread and eat some veggie stew instead."  he or she then decided that I couldn't possibly have the physical or mental fortitude to deal with such advice so they just scheduled the next MRI or bone scan, filled out another perscription and sent me home.  We are being treated like idiots and fools by the people we trust with our lives.  Weak idiots and fools.  Sure lots of people say, "Oh I couldn't do that!"  But the problem is that they don't really believe in it.  If our doctors were educated enough and committed enough to our health to really teach it to their patients, a LOT of them would say, "It will actually give me my health and energy back?! I can do that!"  Some wouldn't.  So for them, doctor, go ahead and schedule that next scan and write that next prescription.  Do what you can to prepare them for the fact that their lives will be shorter and more painful and miserable.  But at least learn what you need to know to give as many of us as possible a shot at real health.  I know the first rule is supposed to be "do no harm" but shouldn't that be closely followed by "do as much good as you possibly can?"  

Thanksgiving Plans

I have been asked by quite a few people how I'm going to handle Thanksgiving.  Thankfully, I have a very uncomplicated, supportive and understanding family so I am under no real pressure to fix or even attend a big, fattening, American fat fest on Thanksgiving. Why do we Americans take everything sacred, every beautiful occasion and turn it into something kind of vulgar and all about consumption. MORE presents, MORE booze, MORE food. (sigh) I'm kind of over it. I want to be with loved ones, eating something that make me feel great and watching some football. For that, I will be extremely thankful. LOL I realize that some people have much more complicated family expectations but for me, it is simple. No traditional meal or comfort food is worth losing what I've gained. I was literally crippled with my weight and with disease so no way am I giving that up for a pumpkin pie or even my mom's stuffing. My Mom has passed and her stuffing is a big tradition for us.  But I promise if you put in a call to Heaven and ask her, she will tell you that my good health and the amazing new habits I have cultivated are way more important to her than any food.  I don't need that stuffing to feel close to her.  I have looked up amazing, beautiful and yummy recipes that will not damage my body that I can celebrate with. All that being said, if you aren't as lucky as I am in this area, you have to decide what is best for you.  A lot of people are juicing right up to Tday and then just letting themselves completely off the hook for a couple of hours during that meal and then getting right back on juice fast. At least that is their plan. I suspect it will be a struggle for a lot of people. I also know quite a few who are going to go to the family gathering and have some nice lean turkey breast and a big helping of salad and some fruit and call it good. Everyone has to make their own decision. For someone who was as bad off as I was and then given a miracle, it is an easy decision. My friend Jana posted a pic the other day that pretty much says it for me. "Don't give up what you want MOST for what you want RIGHT NOW." Natalie Michaele

Just One Bite?

If you have tried a few (or many) diets like I have, you have at some point encountered a certain school of thought that has been on my mind a lot lately.  For example, there is currently a weight watchers commercial where the lovely, thin woman says she WILL sometimes have a cupcake, just not the whole cake.  Many diet books/gurus will tell you that you should not eliminate any particular food.  "Don't tell yourself you can never again eat cookie cake because then you won't want to stick to it."  Right?  You follow me?  That is a very common belief.  If you try to think you can never have this or that special yummy that you love then you'll quit because you can't face life without pizza, or Snickers or whatever.

I understand where this train of thought comes from.  I do.  And I understand that if we talk in terms that are super rigid and unforgiving, some people won't ever start and others won't last long.  Many believe that they are setting themselves up to fail if they don't allow for the occasional indulgence.  I'm not saying that we should never indulge in something diet-naughty ever again.  I'm not saying I won't ever indulge again.  I AM saying that my idea of what is an indulgence has changed.  And I think that for long-term success and happiness in this new lifestyle, that is what has to happen.  And after talking to many, many juicers and recently converted vegans and raw-foodists, etc, that can and WILL happen if you give yourself half a chance.  Pretty much everyone says the same thing, "My taste buds really HAVE changed!" And we all say it with the same tone of wonder and disbelief in our voices and on our faces.  Lets face it, for those of us weighing in the 300s and 400s, we didn't get there by having an appetite for loads of raw veggies.  Those were the things we didn't mind having a bit of with our meat and butter laden mashed potatos and before our cupcake... or whole cake.

I don't need people telling me that it's okay to have a cupcake.  I got to 340 lbs telling myself that.  If I eat really healthy food 90% of the time, then a cupcake won't hurt anything, right?  Well, of course it won't.  But here's the problem: nobody who has gotten to be fat, sick and nearly dead (thank you Joe Cross;o)  has the ability to eat "healthy" by conventional wisdom standards and then occasionally treat themselves with a frigging cupcake.  Truth.  I know I'll take some heat for this view but it's truth and sometimes truth hurts.  If we COULD do that, don't you think we would have already?  Would you tell someone who is a few months after having their last cigarette that just one cigarette won't hurt. It'll make you feel like you can keep going!  Hello Ms Alcoholic who spent a couple years in jail for DUI and got sober 6 months ago, have a drink.  Just one won't hurt anyone and it'll make you feel like you can stick it out longer.  IT'S THE SAME.  IT'S THE SAME. IT'S THE SAME!!!!!!!

If I could have done this the "conventional wisdom" route, I certainly already would have.  Certainly tried often enough.  I tried with Weight Watchers, I tried with Atkins, I tried with tracking and balancing the key nutrients on Sparkpeople (NOT dissing Sparkpeope - it is a FANTASTIC tool/resource that I use every day) and I tried Nutrisystems where they sent me prepackaged meals... including ittle-bitty "healthy" cupcakes.  I tried cabbage soup and some email "pre-surgery" diet that involved lots of tunafish and bananas.  I lost weight with every single plan I tried.  And then I gained weight.  I didn't throw my hands up and just give up and turn around and start going to McDonalds again.  (At least usually I didn't... there were times.)  Usually, it happened something like this:  

Day 12:  I think I'm really going to have to have a little treat at the birthday party or I'll feel too deprived and give up.  And of course, I can't turn down Aunt Mary's special recipe macaroni and cheese or I'll hurt her feelings.

Day 13:  I really shouldn't have had that 3rd piece of cake.  I'll be super, extra good the rest of this week.

Day 14: One little piece of pizza isn't so bad.  I'll eat just salad for supper.

Day 15: What do you mean I gained a pound?!  I have to get down to business and stick to the plan perfectly this week.  Right after I pout with this Sonic meal that I really can't avoid because I don't have time to do anything else today because of x, y and z.

Fast forward to Day 21 by which time I have gradually phased myself right back into eating whatever falls into my hands the easiest.  

Here's the thing, the one thing, the MAIN thing.  We super-fatties don't do Just One Bite.  We don't even usually do Just One Piece.  We might stick to just one at the party (because we fatties aren't supposed to let anyone else see us eat) but then when we get home, we'll have another and usually another.   We "just one piece" ourselves into guilt, shame, rage and yet another 25 or 50 or 80 lbs by that time next year.  And it isn't lack of willpower or lack of character or pure-dee old gluttony; it's addiction.  Addictive substances are added to almost everything the modern American eats.  Yes, even those tasty little weight-watcher's entrees.  It is also a big heaping dose of misinformation.  The people we should be able to trust to tell us what we need to know to feed our families and ourselves in a healthy manner, you know who I mean, the FDA and the Department of Agriculture etc, they lie.  They pander to the money and they lie to us.  Straight up.  

So is it hopeless then?  Do we accept that we can't moderate our own eating.  Fall into the shame and blame trap?  Fail to even try because life is no fun without sugar and deep-fat fried everything? No because we can CHANGE what we crave.  We CAN change what constitutes an indulgence for us.  For real.  I'm not talking about pasting on a smile and pretending that we are just loving having this salad at Olive Garden while the family all eat lasagna and eggplant parmesan.  I'm talking about really, for real finding ourselves loving the taste of clean, fresh, whole, veggies that are not slathered in butter or cheese sauce.  Feeling that we have really treated ourselves to a splurge when we have banana/berry sorbet from our blender.  There really IS a magic pill.  Go cold-turkey on EVERYTHING processed, packaged and made by man for a while.  Become a strict whole food junkie for just a while.  Or do what I did, watch Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and then watch Forks Over Knives and then do a juice fast.  After just a week on nothing but fresh-made veggie/fruit juice, I stopped craving things.  After a couple of weeks on juice, I literally found the taste thought of over-processed junk posing as food (like those little frozen weight watchers dinners and cupcakes) repulsive.  And after several weeks of an almost exclusively juice diet, as we test the waters of what foods work for us and figuring out what we actually like now, we really truly don't like the taste of the same crap that we used to feed on all the time.  When my grandkids were over the other day, their mama brought some food with them since they surely couldn't survive the day on just fruits and veggies.  Harmoni (my 17 year old) and I tasted one of the "chicken strips."  I looked at her and she said to me, "I can't believe that used to be chicken to me.  That's disgusting."  And today, she tasted a little taste of the kind of peanut butter we used to buy and said that it didn't taste good... in fact, it didn't taste like peanuts!  (We use Smuckers Natural peanut butter now.  It's the best stuff!  Nothing in there but peanuts.)  We have found that salad actually tastes really good with some herbs and a tiny bit of vinaigrette on it.  We really don't have to smother it in ranch dressing.  (Read the ingredients on that little bundle of joy sometime.  Ugh!)

So, the point of this not-so-short rant is that, yes, I am pretty hard line.  No I'm not okay with the idea of a bit of birthday cake to show solidarity.  No, I'm not going to pretend it's okay if I ever DO slip up and eat something disgusting.  It's not okay.  I'm not going to beat myself up and dwell on it but I'm not going to say it's okay and I'm certainly not going to plan ahead to do it.  People don't regain all the weight they lose on any eating plan by just turning right around and heading back the way they came, they turn around little by little by little.  They turn around by taking just one bite.  And then a few more.  We all have choices in life.  Every day I make the choice to ONLY eat things my body truly needs.  Think about that for a minute.  How much of what you eat does your body truly need? Answer: Very. Damn. Little.  Every day I make the choice to find comfort, entertainment and pleasure in other ways.  It doesn't have to be through my food.  It sounds so trite to say that feeling this healthy is better than how any food out there tastes.  What's that saying?  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Well, there sure as heck isn't anything that tastes as good as healthy and energetic and getting thinner every day feels.  Nothing.  And I refuse to just-one-bite myself back into the trance of processed, poisonous, addictive crap that 99% of people think is food.  News flash: McNuggets aren't food.  Food is the carrier of the nutrients our body needs into our system.  McNuggets and Totinos pizza and Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup carry a few nutrients on the back of literal poison.  Addictive poison.  I'm over it.

This:

Or this:

My Motivation? It Couldn't Be Simpler.

My 5% Challenge team gave an assignment to write out our motivation for losing weight. Mine is, on the surface, a variation on the same theme as many other people. Health, legacy and looks. In that order. I used to care a lot more about the looks aspect and I still care but not NEARLY as much. I used to say that losing weight for my health was important but inside, I just wanted to look good and not be ashamed to be seen in a pair of shorts. I didn't want to look like a supermodel but I wanted to feel confident in my own skin. Nowadays, I tell people I am motivated by how my girls are learning such healthy habits now and how much more energy I have and (a big one for me) by my desire to be a horsewoman again. Oh man, I can't tell you how much I miss making horses a huge part of my life. But in reality it is much, much simpler. 

After facing life as a near recluse and very nearly bedfast, having to have other people take care of my needs, my home, my chores, etc, I have a very different perspective. When I say the number one thing is to regain my health, you can bank that. I had given up on any hope of getting much enjoyment out of life any more. I was hoping I would have a massive coronary so that my family (and I ) wouldn't have to suffer through years of my gradual decline. I felt that I was a very poor example to my teenagers of how to live a life. I wasn't able to be the kind of grandma that I wanted to be so I pretty much avoided spending more than an hour or so at a time with my grandkids. I had accepted that the "fun" portion of the program was over and I didn't particularly want to hang in there for the sad ending. I've never been into sad endings. 

When I watched the videos that lit that flame of hope once again in my heart, I didn't hesitate. I KNEW it was my last chance. I knew that this was what God wanted, no expected, from me so I did it. The change has been so dramatic, so fast and so unquestionable that there is just no turning back for me. Eating healthy, whole, clean foods and juicing fresh veggies in order to flood my body with the nutrients it has been longing for is the only option for me. 

People ask me how I can avoid my trigger foods or temptation or whatever and they don't understand when I tell them it just isn't an option any more. They think, "Oh sure, easier said than done." But it is easily done now. Yes, I meant what I said; it is EASILY done now. I have faced situations where huge triggers from my old life were offered to me on a platter and I was looked at askance for refusing. Was it hard to say no? Do I deserve a medal for having the courage to look that old favorite straight in the eye and then walk away? NO. Because it was EASY! Would it be hard for me to say no to Meth? Or crack? Or heroin? NO. I don't put poison in my body no matter how much fun someone tells me it is because I value my health, my integrity and my future much more than any momentary pleasure. Yes. It really is like that for me now. I can't say that I will never feel that pull again. Forever is a long time and it is asking for trouble to say never. But for now, by the grace of God, it is easy. I can walk on my own and I can swim and I HAVE NO PAIN. So I can eat a big beautiful salad or a bowl of yummy, homemade veggie soup and keep feeling like I have a future or I can eat a hamburger and fries and a cookie and climb back into my deathbed. 

So what is my motivation for sticking to the program? It's pretty simple when you boil it down. I. Want. To. Live. 

Day 33: ONE WEEK OF JUICE FASTING TO GO

Had a super busy weekend with the grandkids and spent 2 hours working out in the pool again today:) My goal for the next few weeks is to get really regular with my exercise. I bought a 10 class pass for the aquacize class. It's fun and it's a good workout. I do some laps before and after too so I get in a good workout. 

My juice fast is nearing it's end; only one week to go. But I know this will not be the last juice fast I do. I suspect I will juice fast regularly. I haven't decided for sure how often or how long but I'm thinking maybe 5 days a month or maybe even 10 if I get into trouble with food. I have a good plan in place and I don't have ANY desire to eat the way I used to but I do have the holidays looming so I'm not going to underestimate the temptations that will abound. 

Just today, I went to the store and they had one of my favorite seasonal treats right by the checkout. Helloooo Candy Corn. LOL Yes, I used to love Candy Corn. Honestly, now, the thought of it makes me a little sick. In a few weeks, I will have a much bigger hurdle. I plan to have a delicious but super healthy Thanksgiving dinner for my family but there is one thing I haven't decided on yet - my Mom's dressing. It is probably the biggest and most dear tradition for our family Thanksgiving. I can make healthy desserts and I can certainly make some healthy salads and veggie dishes and a healthy version of the turkey. But Mom's dressing is kind of sacred to us. Cameron wants to make a small batch so everyone can have a smallish serving. Part of me thinks that is the best solution. But all that bread and eggs and cornbread and stuff.... That isn't the way I eat now. I know Mom is proud of what I am doing now and would tell me that silly old dressing is meaningless but I can't feel that. 

So, in other news.... I love reading and viewing websites about different views about nutrition and health. I am deeply convicted to the path I have chosen and I know that it will keep leading me to greater and greater health and wellness. That doesn't mean that I know what path is right for anyone else. When I see people getting hateful about Veganism or about Paleo or about Atkins or whatever, it just turns me off to whatever they are advocating. The funniest thing is when someone who has tried to talk me into weight loss surgery or gone out with me for some uber fattening treat on many occasions tries to say that what I'm doing is too drastic. I've said it before but it bears repeating; killing myself with food was drastic. This is sanity and health and joy. I'll stick with that thank you. So here is my thought for the day: 

DAY 29: 4 Week results from Friday, Sep 20, 2013

So this morning we weighed in for our official 4 weeks results and here they are: 
Mom (started 340)  313.6 (-26.4)
Gini (started 288)  261.4  (-26.6)
Harmoni (started 303)  275 (-28)

I continue to feel so good that it seems surreal. Yesterday I went swimming at 8:00 am and swam for an hour. At 9:00 an aquacize class started so I did that too! Then I showered and dressed and went grocery shopping - no electric buggy involved. Today I have my 4 year old grandson and 6 year old granddaughter for the day and overnight. I haven't had one moment of feeling over-fatigued or one moment of pain. I was worried I overdid it yesterday and would be in pain today or at least sore but nope! I'm going swimming again this afternoon:) 

Gini and Harmoni are eating veggies once or twice a day and having juice twice a day and still losing. I fixed them some fish and baked sweet potato slices the other day and they LOVED it. I think that may be my first non-veggie meal next month:) 

I've been looking for motivational images and I found one that is perfect. Well, I enhanced it and added the text to make it the perfect one for me:) 
 

DAY 24 - It can't be this easy? Actually, it CAN. from Sunday, Sep 15, 2013

Two things in the last couple of days have been staying in my mind. First, I read an article from here on Sparkpeople, well linked here anyway, about writing a different story and creating a different persona for ourselves in order to achieve different outcomes. I think it was from Psychology Today. Then, I was reading in Alejandro Junger's book, "Clean," where I got the quote on the following picture. (I made the meme on Picmonkey which I LOVE.) 
 

I've been talking to people about this way of life and people are both impressed and skeptical. Understandable. We are so conditioned by Conventional Wisdom World to believe that it CAN'T BE THIS EASY. We must surely have to combine certain foods or at least macronutrients in just the right balance or at least count calories and so on. After all these years, can it really just be this simple and this easy? And yes, after 3 weeks, this is EASY. 99% of the time at least;o) Of course, I'm not battling other people in the same home who insist on eating differently. God bless those who do! They are warriors!! But since I can create a safe haven here in my home and only have to face the temptations when I go places, I can put on my armor for those encounters and then come home and relax and enjoy it:) 
 
So I am writing a different story for myself. I am taking a different road so that I can come out in a different place. I am the kind of person who eats super healthy stuff and truly enjoys finding cool new recipes for yummy raw, plant-based foods. And as a result I am the kind of person who is getting thinner and healthier and more vigorous by the day! And I will keep doing that because I am constantly seeking out foods that we can enjoy that will keep us healthy instead of waiting for the day when I can go back to McDonalds or Hamburger Helper. I am THAT kind of person. True story.