So with the van broke down, it was late evening before we got any groceries. We usually get our groceries on Thursday afternoon so we were out of just about everything! No greens! No carrots! No oranges or lemons! It was pretty crazy so I didn't have any juice today:'( I did take my water way up. I was a bit constipated for the first time since I started this whole thing and I realized that with the cold weather I was literally, even with herbal tea, only getting about 20oz of water each day. No bueno. I ended up just doing a lot of snacking and water drinking today. We'll see how that plays out on the scale tomorrow and the next day (I don't believe results of what we eat today always show up immediately.) So without further ado...
Weigh-in this morning 280.6
76oz water
Large salad
Grapefruit
3 tangerines
1 banana
Quinoa with red peppers and spinach - 1.5 cups
Small apple
1 oz raisins
1 cup popcorn
I suspect my calories were low today. That definitely might slow me down a bit but maybe with the increased water I'll be okay. Anyway, I feel like my body felt sufficiently nourished. As I said, it was just a lot of snacking. I prefer when I divide my eating into some semblance of meals but I'm not really concerned. I have a lot on my non-food "plate" right now and I'm keeping it healthy, which is the bottom line. But I have to say I really can't wait to get up in the morning and get my juice on:) Speaking of which, JUICE ON!!
Showing posts with label whole foods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label whole foods. Show all posts
Friday, January 10, 2014
Thursday, November 28, 2013
The Real Thanksgiving
So for those of us trying to live a healthier life and lose weight and regain vibrant health, Thanksgiving can represent a challenge. I must have been asked at least 85 times in the past week how I would "handle" it and even asked for advice about how best to handle it for others. That's new. I still haven't gotten used to having other people act as if my opinion on topics of health and weight loss really matters. LOL Everyone really has to decide for themselves. Some people have complicated family situations to consider and I would never presume to get in the middle of that! But, as usual, my real, deep down feeling is that family should value your health and well-being enough to make some concessions or even (gasp) just support what you are trying to do. I can't imagine not having a family that supports me like that. And that is probably what I'm thankful for this year most of all. My husband is one in a million. He supports me through all things. He epitomizes "in sickness and in health" and "for better or for worse." My kids and grandkids bless every day of my life and don't hesitate to do anything in their power to support my efforts. So how did I "handle" the challenge of Thanksgiving?
I have had a great Thanksgiving with my two teenagers. I am so proud of them. I told them that if not having pie or rolls or something was going to make them feel deprived or like this lifestyle was too hard, I would get them some. They both said NO! And Harmoni (17 year old) said, "The main thing I'm most thankful for this year is how happy you are just living every day now." My hubby is on the road but we are used to that. We have a nice meal when he gets home and we don't celebrate Christmas until Epiphany so that he can be home. I told my grown kids that since Thanksgiving meal was going to be turned on it's ear that they should probably just spend it with their inlaws. I hope to be so used to this lifestyle by next year that I will make them a feast to remember that I won't hesitate to eat as well. I'll be spending some time with my oldest daughter and that new baby boy next week and I'm definitely thankful for that! I'm really thankful that all three of my grown kids have found really amazing and wonderful people to share their lives with. Both son-in-laws and my daughter-in-law are really awesome. I honestly couldn't have chosen better for them myself. I have NINE beautiful, healthy, intelligent grandchildren. God has blessed me beyond measure.
Thanksgiving was really my Mom's holiday as she was an amazing cook in the old-school Southern cooking style. I see her in my daughter Cheyenne. I always miss her so much on this day but part of me is glad she isn't here to see what terrible condition I have let myself get into. At least I have felt that way every Thanksgiving until this one. I know that she would be so proud of the changes I've made, the things I've learned and the rest of the family for their unwavering support. A few weeks ago when people first started talking about Thanksgiving, my first thought was, "Oh no! Mom's stuffing and apple pan dowdy and heavenly hash!" Fixing her recipes always made us all feel closer to her. We knew that she was there with us in spirit. Well, the day came and we ate our small serving of roast turkey and roasted veggies and lots of fruit. We even had a special treat that Cameron brought us; gluten free, dairy free cookies! I do NOT feel like I missed a thing. Rather, I feel more thankful and more blessed than I have in many years. And that, my friends, is what Thanksgiving is about, not turkey or pie or cornbread dressing.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Dear Doctor, Why?
I have spoken many times about all the medical issues I faced before starting my journey to self-healing and weight loss. It was pretty grim. Over the last few decades, I (and my insurance companies) have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to make my life bearable. In all those years, I found pretty much zero help or relief. I just got progressively worse and worse. The answer to many if not all the problems I was having was as simple as changing my grocery list. Yes, I spend a little more on groceries now but, recall that "hundreds of thousands" I mentioned? Not hyperbole folks. So there's expensive and then there's expeeensive. And there is more than one sort of "cost." Basically, what's it worth to you? Expensive is a relative term A $50k house is a bargain basement find! But a $50k car is expensive! What's the value of the thing is a a better question that what is the cost. So to me, my new diet is not expensive. For it's value, it is quite cheap. How much do you spend on perscriptions? What if your food was your food and your medicine?
First off, I find it laughable when people say to me that they can't afford all this "expensive" produce but it is actually a serious issue for many so let's talk about that for a moment. I understand tight budgets. No really, I do. We have been on the nothing-but-ramen-noodles-all-week diet more than a few times. I know from broke. But most of the time in recent months, before becoming whole foods/plant based and juicing (WFPB from now on) we spent around $125-175 per month on food for the family. We also ate out at least once, often two or three times every week. It was our payday ritual. We usually got pizza or Sonic or Arby's or Taco Bell. Taco Bell and Little Caesars are cheap for those weeks we had a more limited food budget. But that was an additional $15 to $60 per week or more. And then let's add up all the stops at Quick Trip for soda and a "snack." Am I the only one who would routinely spend $5 on #%$!* every time I filled up the gas tank of my car? I think not. So I was spending $150-200 per week on crap that was killing me. Literally. Literally crap and literally killing me. Not to mention the money I was spending on medications I no longer need. Nowadays, I routinely spend $180 a week on food. I haven't spent a solitary dime on fast food, packaged junk or convenience store snacks in 4 months. Yup, that WFPB diet is just too expensive. Still think it is too expensive? Check out Ellen Jaffe Jones. You can find her on facebook and youtube. I am not sure if her website is working but she also wrote a book called Vegan on $4 a day. And then there is this blog: http://homelessformyhealth.blogspot.com/. Go read it. Seriously. AFTER reading that blog, you come tell me that a healthy diet is too expensive.
Now, on to the things that are really on my mind today. A couple of things I have been hearing lately really have me pissed. Both have to do with doctors. First off, why the holy heck in all the years I've been to doctor after doctor, spent many weeks in hospitals and had dozens of very expensive tests done and been lectured about my weight continuously, has no doctor ever, once suggested that I had a leaky gut or gluten intolerance. Never once has any of them suggested I try eliminating sugar or dairy. Not ONE medical professional has ever suggested that people who eat primarily a plant based diet have little to no heart disease, cancer or diabetes. You know why? Because they know squat about nutrition. Seriously. They can't tell you what they don't know. There is, of course, the problem of the bought and paid for research they are being fed by USDA, FDA and Big Pharma plus there is the absolute absence of any real education. In medical school, our future physicians get a few hours of training in nutrition. Hours. NOT class hours or credit hours. As in your history class counts as 4 credit hours. No. A few actual clock hours of their entire education. Don't believe me? Check this out:
First off, I find it laughable when people say to me that they can't afford all this "expensive" produce but it is actually a serious issue for many so let's talk about that for a moment. I understand tight budgets. No really, I do. We have been on the nothing-but-ramen-noodles-all-week diet more than a few times. I know from broke. But most of the time in recent months, before becoming whole foods/plant based and juicing (WFPB from now on) we spent around $125-175 per month on food for the family. We also ate out at least once, often two or three times every week. It was our payday ritual. We usually got pizza or Sonic or Arby's or Taco Bell. Taco Bell and Little Caesars are cheap for those weeks we had a more limited food budget. But that was an additional $15 to $60 per week or more. And then let's add up all the stops at Quick Trip for soda and a "snack." Am I the only one who would routinely spend $5 on #%$!* every time I filled up the gas tank of my car? I think not. So I was spending $150-200 per week on crap that was killing me. Literally. Literally crap and literally killing me. Not to mention the money I was spending on medications I no longer need. Nowadays, I routinely spend $180 a week on food. I haven't spent a solitary dime on fast food, packaged junk or convenience store snacks in 4 months. Yup, that WFPB diet is just too expensive. Still think it is too expensive? Check out Ellen Jaffe Jones. You can find her on facebook and youtube. I am not sure if her website is working but she also wrote a book called Vegan on $4 a day. And then there is this blog: http://homelessformyhealth.blogspot.com/. Go read it. Seriously. AFTER reading that blog, you come tell me that a healthy diet is too expensive.
Now, on to the things that are really on my mind today. A couple of things I have been hearing lately really have me pissed. Both have to do with doctors. First off, why the holy heck in all the years I've been to doctor after doctor, spent many weeks in hospitals and had dozens of very expensive tests done and been lectured about my weight continuously, has no doctor ever, once suggested that I had a leaky gut or gluten intolerance. Never once has any of them suggested I try eliminating sugar or dairy. Not ONE medical professional has ever suggested that people who eat primarily a plant based diet have little to no heart disease, cancer or diabetes. You know why? Because they know squat about nutrition. Seriously. They can't tell you what they don't know. There is, of course, the problem of the bought and paid for research they are being fed by USDA, FDA and Big Pharma plus there is the absolute absence of any real education. In medical school, our future physicians get a few hours of training in nutrition. Hours. NOT class hours or credit hours. As in your history class counts as 4 credit hours. No. A few actual clock hours of their entire education. Don't believe me? Check this out:
The approximate time devoted to nutrition science over the first two years of my medical education is a measly 6 hours.... James Haddad [http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/12/nutrition-taught-medical-school.html] After the first two years they are in actual medical settings as interns and residents. With live patients.
Your doctor was not taught nutrition unless he went out on his own time and dollar and researched it himself. Since doctors in training have all that.. ya know... spare time. And since becoming a doctor, he is consistently fed the SAD conventional wisdom that is killing us all by degrees. So when people ask me if my doctor is on board with me going WFPB and all the juicing, my response is, "I don't give a rat's tail." My nutrition is up to me.
The other thing that set me off was several instances of hearing that what few doctors actually got the memo that WFPB diets can prevent a host of diseases dropped the ball anyway. Mostly. There are those few voices in the wilderness but your average physician in your average town or city? Well, the prevailing attitude seems to be that they don't bother recommending any radical change in diet because patients will likely find it too challenging and won't follow through. Changing your way of eating is too hard. Why bother when weight loss surgery is so much easier. And heck, many insurance plans are starting to cover it now too! Bonus! (In case you missed it, insert heavy sarcasm there.) So if even one doctor over the years looked at me and thought, "Damn woman! All you need to do is make salad the main dish! Throw out the cheese and the bread and eat some veggie stew instead." he or she then decided that I couldn't possibly have the physical or mental fortitude to deal with such advice so they just scheduled the next MRI or bone scan, filled out another perscription and sent me home. We are being treated like idiots and fools by the people we trust with our lives. Weak idiots and fools. Sure lots of people say, "Oh I couldn't do that!" But the problem is that they don't really believe in it. If our doctors were educated enough and committed enough to our health to really teach it to their patients, a LOT of them would say, "It will actually give me my health and energy back?! I can do that!" Some wouldn't. So for them, doctor, go ahead and schedule that next scan and write that next prescription. Do what you can to prepare them for the fact that their lives will be shorter and more painful and miserable. But at least learn what you need to know to give as many of us as possible a shot at real health. I know the first rule is supposed to be "do no harm" but shouldn't that be closely followed by "do as much good as you possibly can?"
Thursday, October 17, 2013
My Personal Dialogue
I belong to several wonderful and amazing groups who are committed to the same path that I have, more or less. I also follow every committed juice faster and raw foodist that I can find on youtube. Lately I have seen a rash of people hitting "bumps in the road." It always hurts my heart to see/hear someone questioning their own commitment and wondering if they should throw away all they've accomplished because of the slip ups, whether it be the first one or the 101st one. I have a favorite saying: "You never fail until you quit." The problem is that when you really screw the pooch and dive headfirst into a mountain of processed or fast food, all your past failures and all the nasty chemicals start whispering to you that you are a failure; that you "can't do it" and trying to convince yourself to tune those voices out is really hard while you are under that influence. It's like trying to talk to an alcoholic about AA WHILE they are drunk. It just doesn't work.
I consider there to be two kinds of slip-ups. Lets get this straight first. There are slip-ups and then there is screwing the pooch. A slip-up is, for example, eating too much of a food that is actually allowed on your plan. The food is okay but you ate much more of it than planned. Or perhaps you ate a slice of tomato while on a juice fast. It isn't going to really mess with your head in a chemical way but it wasn't "The Plan." Now screwing the pooch is an entirely different thing. For example, going for a value meal at McDonalds, possibly followed up with a box of donuts or a trip to Braum's for a brownie fudge sundae. Of course, there are also all the degrees in between. I have had slip-ups but since I started down this path back in August, I haven't screwed the pooch even once. Not even close. I see these people who seem so committed and so strong and who are even having great results slip and sometimes fall altogether. The ones who just never show back up break my heart. The ones that get up, dust themselves (and the juicer) off, and trot right back down that path again are heroes.
As I said, I've encountered quite a few of both types of slip-ups, fall-downs and crash and burns lately and it's got me asking myself how have I avoided it? I have only experienced the milder version of slip-ups and one week of trying to put bread back into my diet and discovering that was a bad idea. (Previous blog - and for the record, I have taken off the 7 lbs I regained from that little experiment as of today.) Every healthy thing I have attempted in my entire life, I have screwed the pooch within short order and then I've given up entirely. Every time and there have been many. Weight watchers, Nutrisystem, Atkins, South Beach, you name it. I have been the Crowned Queen of excuses and giving up. How have I avoided that?
I know this will sound simplistic but it really, really isn't. I have not screwed any pooches this time for a couple of simple reasons. This plan, this path is awesome. That's reason number one. I don't feel deprived. I have learned the truth about the caca I was eating before and I really, truly, deeply don't have any interest in putting that junk in my body anymore. The other reason is a little harder to articulate so bear with me.
I have changed my personal dialogue. I don't stand in front of a mirror and tell myself I'm thin and healthy and becoming more successful every day. I have literally internalized and come to believe different things about myself. I think of myself as someone who has conquered a huge slavering beast and come out of it with super powers, because I did. I think of myself as someone who loves all those beautiful rainbow treats in the produce section, because I am. I think of myself who has the number of the food industry liars and the FDA and the Dept of Ag liars and doesn't fall for their bs anymore. I'm smarter than that. I think of myself as someone who sets a good example for her family and friends because I AM. And I think of myself as someone who is clearly losing weight and becoming healthier and stronger every day Because. I. Am.
I am human and, let's face it, the holidays are approaching like a locomotive. I was concerned that the first big test would be all the masses of Halloween candy that appeared a couple of weeks ago. But honest to goodness, it just isn't even on my radar. Not even when a friend holds out a big basket of it and says, "have a piece!" I mean it sincerely when I say it isn't even difficult to say, "No thanks." If I ever, finally, face that day, that situation, that I can't say no to and I experience a true Screw-the-pooch moment, I am confident that I will have the strength to turn right back down my chosen path. But I reject the conventional wisdom that says that day is inevitable.
I consider there to be two kinds of slip-ups. Lets get this straight first. There are slip-ups and then there is screwing the pooch. A slip-up is, for example, eating too much of a food that is actually allowed on your plan. The food is okay but you ate much more of it than planned. Or perhaps you ate a slice of tomato while on a juice fast. It isn't going to really mess with your head in a chemical way but it wasn't "The Plan." Now screwing the pooch is an entirely different thing. For example, going for a value meal at McDonalds, possibly followed up with a box of donuts or a trip to Braum's for a brownie fudge sundae. Of course, there are also all the degrees in between. I have had slip-ups but since I started down this path back in August, I haven't screwed the pooch even once. Not even close. I see these people who seem so committed and so strong and who are even having great results slip and sometimes fall altogether. The ones who just never show back up break my heart. The ones that get up, dust themselves (and the juicer) off, and trot right back down that path again are heroes.
As I said, I've encountered quite a few of both types of slip-ups, fall-downs and crash and burns lately and it's got me asking myself how have I avoided it? I have only experienced the milder version of slip-ups and one week of trying to put bread back into my diet and discovering that was a bad idea. (Previous blog - and for the record, I have taken off the 7 lbs I regained from that little experiment as of today.) Every healthy thing I have attempted in my entire life, I have screwed the pooch within short order and then I've given up entirely. Every time and there have been many. Weight watchers, Nutrisystem, Atkins, South Beach, you name it. I have been the Crowned Queen of excuses and giving up. How have I avoided that?
I know this will sound simplistic but it really, really isn't. I have not screwed any pooches this time for a couple of simple reasons. This plan, this path is awesome. That's reason number one. I don't feel deprived. I have learned the truth about the caca I was eating before and I really, truly, deeply don't have any interest in putting that junk in my body anymore. The other reason is a little harder to articulate so bear with me.
I have changed my personal dialogue. I don't stand in front of a mirror and tell myself I'm thin and healthy and becoming more successful every day. I have literally internalized and come to believe different things about myself. I think of myself as someone who has conquered a huge slavering beast and come out of it with super powers, because I did. I think of myself as someone who loves all those beautiful rainbow treats in the produce section, because I am. I think of myself who has the number of the food industry liars and the FDA and the Dept of Ag liars and doesn't fall for their bs anymore. I'm smarter than that. I think of myself as someone who sets a good example for her family and friends because I AM. And I think of myself as someone who is clearly losing weight and becoming healthier and stronger every day Because. I. Am.
I am human and, let's face it, the holidays are approaching like a locomotive. I was concerned that the first big test would be all the masses of Halloween candy that appeared a couple of weeks ago. But honest to goodness, it just isn't even on my radar. Not even when a friend holds out a big basket of it and says, "have a piece!" I mean it sincerely when I say it isn't even difficult to say, "No thanks." If I ever, finally, face that day, that situation, that I can't say no to and I experience a true Screw-the-pooch moment, I am confident that I will have the strength to turn right back down my chosen path. But I reject the conventional wisdom that says that day is inevitable.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
The Gluten Question
Well, for me at least, the question is settled. A few months ago, after some research and reading*, I decided to try eliminating gluten for a couple of weeks to see if it helped with how horrible I felt back then. It did seem to help and I was pretty much convinced that I was one of the unlucky few to have significant problems with modern wheat gluten. I was trying to keep it out of my diet as much as possible.
Fast forward to October. After juice fasting for several weeks and then combining plant-based clean eating with juice, I was completely gluten free. And if you've read any of my blogs, you know I was feeling fantastic. My experiment during the Spring was done when my diet overall was a mess. I noticed a reduction in joint pain and stomach pain and brain-fog but any improvement was just a matter of degree. I had come to think that was all I could ever expect from anything so that was good with me. Well now, I know that I don't have to settle for a few degrees better; I can demand GREAT! So I decided to redo the gluten experiment.
This past week, I reintroduced very healthy, limited portions of sprouted, whole-grain bread back into my diet. For the first time since I began my juice fast, I have had stomach pain, brain-fog and aching joints. Also (coincidence maybe? I kinda doubt it....) the first week I haven't lost a single pound. So that's enough proof for me to make a decision. FOR ME, the gluten question is resolved. No gluten for me. I don't settle for better any more. I want to keep feeling fantastic. I am not saying that everyone should eliminate gluten, but I would recommend that if you have a pretty healthy diet and are still struggling with weight loss and/or digestive issues, joint pain, brain fog, fatigue, etc, it might be worth it to at least try a couple of weeks without it and then put it back into your diet to see if it affects symptoms.
*Wheat Belly by William Davis is a good laymans introduction to the issue but I always advocate looking up the research for yourself if you can. The wheat we are sold today is NOT the same as the wheat our ancestors ate. That much is fact. You can have all the opinions your little heart desires but you can't have your own set of facts. Wheat today barely resembles the wheat from even 100 short years ago. If GMOs aren't remotely disturbing to you then... wake up.
Fast forward to October. After juice fasting for several weeks and then combining plant-based clean eating with juice, I was completely gluten free. And if you've read any of my blogs, you know I was feeling fantastic. My experiment during the Spring was done when my diet overall was a mess. I noticed a reduction in joint pain and stomach pain and brain-fog but any improvement was just a matter of degree. I had come to think that was all I could ever expect from anything so that was good with me. Well now, I know that I don't have to settle for a few degrees better; I can demand GREAT! So I decided to redo the gluten experiment.
This past week, I reintroduced very healthy, limited portions of sprouted, whole-grain bread back into my diet. For the first time since I began my juice fast, I have had stomach pain, brain-fog and aching joints. Also (coincidence maybe? I kinda doubt it....) the first week I haven't lost a single pound. So that's enough proof for me to make a decision. FOR ME, the gluten question is resolved. No gluten for me. I don't settle for better any more. I want to keep feeling fantastic. I am not saying that everyone should eliminate gluten, but I would recommend that if you have a pretty healthy diet and are still struggling with weight loss and/or digestive issues, joint pain, brain fog, fatigue, etc, it might be worth it to at least try a couple of weeks without it and then put it back into your diet to see if it affects symptoms.
*Wheat Belly by William Davis is a good laymans introduction to the issue but I always advocate looking up the research for yourself if you can. The wheat we are sold today is NOT the same as the wheat our ancestors ate. That much is fact. You can have all the opinions your little heart desires but you can't have your own set of facts. Wheat today barely resembles the wheat from even 100 short years ago. If GMOs aren't remotely disturbing to you then... wake up.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Just One Bite?
If you have tried a few (or many) diets like I have, you have at some point encountered a certain school of thought that has been on my mind a lot lately. For example, there is currently a weight watchers commercial where the lovely, thin woman says she WILL sometimes have a cupcake, just not the whole cake. Many diet books/gurus will tell you that you should not eliminate any particular food. "Don't tell yourself you can never again eat cookie cake because then you won't want to stick to it." Right? You follow me? That is a very common belief. If you try to think you can never have this or that special yummy that you love then you'll quit because you can't face life without pizza, or Snickers or whatever.
I understand where this train of thought comes from. I do. And I understand that if we talk in terms that are super rigid and unforgiving, some people won't ever start and others won't last long. Many believe that they are setting themselves up to fail if they don't allow for the occasional indulgence. I'm not saying that we should never indulge in something diet-naughty ever again. I'm not saying I won't ever indulge again. I AM saying that my idea of what is an indulgence has changed. And I think that for long-term success and happiness in this new lifestyle, that is what has to happen. And after talking to many, many juicers and recently converted vegans and raw-foodists, etc, that can and WILL happen if you give yourself half a chance. Pretty much everyone says the same thing, "My taste buds really HAVE changed!" And we all say it with the same tone of wonder and disbelief in our voices and on our faces. Lets face it, for those of us weighing in the 300s and 400s, we didn't get there by having an appetite for loads of raw veggies. Those were the things we didn't mind having a bit of with our meat and butter laden mashed potatos and before our cupcake... or whole cake.
I don't need people telling me that it's okay to have a cupcake. I got to 340 lbs telling myself that. If I eat really healthy food 90% of the time, then a cupcake won't hurt anything, right? Well, of course it won't. But here's the problem: nobody who has gotten to be fat, sick and nearly dead (thank you Joe Cross;o) has the ability to eat "healthy" by conventional wisdom standards and then occasionally treat themselves with a frigging cupcake. Truth. I know I'll take some heat for this view but it's truth and sometimes truth hurts. If we COULD do that, don't you think we would have already? Would you tell someone who is a few months after having their last cigarette that just one cigarette won't hurt. It'll make you feel like you can keep going! Hello Ms Alcoholic who spent a couple years in jail for DUI and got sober 6 months ago, have a drink. Just one won't hurt anyone and it'll make you feel like you can stick it out longer. IT'S THE SAME. IT'S THE SAME. IT'S THE SAME!!!!!!!
If I could have done this the "conventional wisdom" route, I certainly already would have. Certainly tried often enough. I tried with Weight Watchers, I tried with Atkins, I tried with tracking and balancing the key nutrients on Sparkpeople (NOT dissing Sparkpeope - it is a FANTASTIC tool/resource that I use every day) and I tried Nutrisystems where they sent me prepackaged meals... including ittle-bitty "healthy" cupcakes. I tried cabbage soup and some email "pre-surgery" diet that involved lots of tunafish and bananas. I lost weight with every single plan I tried. And then I gained weight. I didn't throw my hands up and just give up and turn around and start going to McDonalds again. (At least usually I didn't... there were times.) Usually, it happened something like this:
Day 12: I think I'm really going to have to have a little treat at the birthday party or I'll feel too deprived and give up. And of course, I can't turn down Aunt Mary's special recipe macaroni and cheese or I'll hurt her feelings.
Day 13: I really shouldn't have had that 3rd piece of cake. I'll be super, extra good the rest of this week.
Day 14: One little piece of pizza isn't so bad. I'll eat just salad for supper.
Day 15: What do you mean I gained a pound?! I have to get down to business and stick to the plan perfectly this week. Right after I pout with this Sonic meal that I really can't avoid because I don't have time to do anything else today because of x, y and z.
Fast forward to Day 21 by which time I have gradually phased myself right back into eating whatever falls into my hands the easiest.
Here's the thing, the one thing, the MAIN thing. We super-fatties don't do Just One Bite. We don't even usually do Just One Piece. We might stick to just one at the party (because we fatties aren't supposed to let anyone else see us eat) but then when we get home, we'll have another and usually another. We "just one piece" ourselves into guilt, shame, rage and yet another 25 or 50 or 80 lbs by that time next year. And it isn't lack of willpower or lack of character or pure-dee old gluttony; it's addiction. Addictive substances are added to almost everything the modern American eats. Yes, even those tasty little weight-watcher's entrees. It is also a big heaping dose of misinformation. The people we should be able to trust to tell us what we need to know to feed our families and ourselves in a healthy manner, you know who I mean, the FDA and the Department of Agriculture etc, they lie. They pander to the money and they lie to us. Straight up.
So is it hopeless then? Do we accept that we can't moderate our own eating. Fall into the shame and blame trap? Fail to even try because life is no fun without sugar and deep-fat fried everything? No because we can CHANGE what we crave. We CAN change what constitutes an indulgence for us. For real. I'm not talking about pasting on a smile and pretending that we are just loving having this salad at Olive Garden while the family all eat lasagna and eggplant parmesan. I'm talking about really, for real finding ourselves loving the taste of clean, fresh, whole, veggies that are not slathered in butter or cheese sauce. Feeling that we have really treated ourselves to a splurge when we have banana/berry sorbet from our blender. There really IS a magic pill. Go cold-turkey on EVERYTHING processed, packaged and made by man for a while. Become a strict whole food junkie for just a while. Or do what I did, watch Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and then watch Forks Over Knives and then do a juice fast. After just a week on nothing but fresh-made veggie/fruit juice, I stopped craving things. After a couple of weeks on juice, I literally found the taste thought of over-processed junk posing as food (like those little frozen weight watchers dinners and cupcakes) repulsive. And after several weeks of an almost exclusively juice diet, as we test the waters of what foods work for us and figuring out what we actually like now, we really truly don't like the taste of the same crap that we used to feed on all the time. When my grandkids were over the other day, their mama brought some food with them since they surely couldn't survive the day on just fruits and veggies. Harmoni (my 17 year old) and I tasted one of the "chicken strips." I looked at her and she said to me, "I can't believe that used to be chicken to me. That's disgusting." And today, she tasted a little taste of the kind of peanut butter we used to buy and said that it didn't taste good... in fact, it didn't taste like peanuts! (We use Smuckers Natural peanut butter now. It's the best stuff! Nothing in there but peanuts.) We have found that salad actually tastes really good with some herbs and a tiny bit of vinaigrette on it. We really don't have to smother it in ranch dressing. (Read the ingredients on that little bundle of joy sometime. Ugh!)
So, the point of this not-so-short rant is that, yes, I am pretty hard line. No I'm not okay with the idea of a bit of birthday cake to show solidarity. No, I'm not going to pretend it's okay if I ever DO slip up and eat something disgusting. It's not okay. I'm not going to beat myself up and dwell on it but I'm not going to say it's okay and I'm certainly not going to plan ahead to do it. People don't regain all the weight they lose on any eating plan by just turning right around and heading back the way they came, they turn around little by little by little. They turn around by taking just one bite. And then a few more. We all have choices in life. Every day I make the choice to ONLY eat things my body truly needs. Think about that for a minute. How much of what you eat does your body truly need? Answer: Very. Damn. Little. Every day I make the choice to find comfort, entertainment and pleasure in other ways. It doesn't have to be through my food. It sounds so trite to say that feeling this healthy is better than how any food out there tastes. What's that saying? Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Well, there sure as heck isn't anything that tastes as good as healthy and energetic and getting thinner every day feels. Nothing. And I refuse to just-one-bite myself back into the trance of processed, poisonous, addictive crap that 99% of people think is food. News flash: McNuggets aren't food. Food is the carrier of the nutrients our body needs into our system. McNuggets and Totinos pizza and Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup carry a few nutrients on the back of literal poison. Addictive poison. I'm over it.
This:
Or this:
So, the point of this not-so-short rant is that, yes, I am pretty hard line. No I'm not okay with the idea of a bit of birthday cake to show solidarity. No, I'm not going to pretend it's okay if I ever DO slip up and eat something disgusting. It's not okay. I'm not going to beat myself up and dwell on it but I'm not going to say it's okay and I'm certainly not going to plan ahead to do it. People don't regain all the weight they lose on any eating plan by just turning right around and heading back the way they came, they turn around little by little by little. They turn around by taking just one bite. And then a few more. We all have choices in life. Every day I make the choice to ONLY eat things my body truly needs. Think about that for a minute. How much of what you eat does your body truly need? Answer: Very. Damn. Little. Every day I make the choice to find comfort, entertainment and pleasure in other ways. It doesn't have to be through my food. It sounds so trite to say that feeling this healthy is better than how any food out there tastes. What's that saying? Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Well, there sure as heck isn't anything that tastes as good as healthy and energetic and getting thinner every day feels. Nothing. And I refuse to just-one-bite myself back into the trance of processed, poisonous, addictive crap that 99% of people think is food. News flash: McNuggets aren't food. Food is the carrier of the nutrients our body needs into our system. McNuggets and Totinos pizza and Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup carry a few nutrients on the back of literal poison. Addictive poison. I'm over it.
This:
Monday, October 7, 2013
My Motivation? It Couldn't Be Simpler.
My 5% Challenge team gave an assignment to write out our motivation for losing weight. Mine is, on the surface, a variation on the same theme as many other people. Health, legacy and looks. In that order. I used to care a lot more about the looks aspect and I still care but not NEARLY as much. I used to say that losing weight for my health was important but inside, I just wanted to look good and not be ashamed to be seen in a pair of shorts. I didn't want to look like a supermodel but I wanted to feel confident in my own skin. Nowadays, I tell people I am motivated by how my girls are learning such healthy habits now and how much more energy I have and (a big one for me) by my desire to be a horsewoman again. Oh man, I can't tell you how much I miss making horses a huge part of my life. But in reality it is much, much simpler.
After facing life as a near recluse and very nearly bedfast, having to have other people take care of my needs, my home, my chores, etc, I have a very different perspective. When I say the number one thing is to regain my health, you can bank that. I had given up on any hope of getting much enjoyment out of life any more. I was hoping I would have a massive coronary so that my family (and I ) wouldn't have to suffer through years of my gradual decline. I felt that I was a very poor example to my teenagers of how to live a life. I wasn't able to be the kind of grandma that I wanted to be so I pretty much avoided spending more than an hour or so at a time with my grandkids. I had accepted that the "fun" portion of the program was over and I didn't particularly want to hang in there for the sad ending. I've never been into sad endings.
When I watched the videos that lit that flame of hope once again in my heart, I didn't hesitate. I KNEW it was my last chance. I knew that this was what God wanted, no expected, from me so I did it. The change has been so dramatic, so fast and so unquestionable that there is just no turning back for me. Eating healthy, whole, clean foods and juicing fresh veggies in order to flood my body with the nutrients it has been longing for is the only option for me.
People ask me how I can avoid my trigger foods or temptation or whatever and they don't understand when I tell them it just isn't an option any more. They think, "Oh sure, easier said than done." But it is easily done now. Yes, I meant what I said; it is EASILY done now. I have faced situations where huge triggers from my old life were offered to me on a platter and I was looked at askance for refusing. Was it hard to say no? Do I deserve a medal for having the courage to look that old favorite straight in the eye and then walk away? NO. Because it was EASY! Would it be hard for me to say no to Meth? Or crack? Or heroin? NO. I don't put poison in my body no matter how much fun someone tells me it is because I value my health, my integrity and my future much more than any momentary pleasure. Yes. It really is like that for me now. I can't say that I will never feel that pull again. Forever is a long time and it is asking for trouble to say never. But for now, by the grace of God, it is easy. I can walk on my own and I can swim and I HAVE NO PAIN. So I can eat a big beautiful salad or a bowl of yummy, homemade veggie soup and keep feeling like I have a future or I can eat a hamburger and fries and a cookie and climb back into my deathbed.
So what is my motivation for sticking to the program? It's pretty simple when you boil it down. I. Want. To. Live.
After facing life as a near recluse and very nearly bedfast, having to have other people take care of my needs, my home, my chores, etc, I have a very different perspective. When I say the number one thing is to regain my health, you can bank that. I had given up on any hope of getting much enjoyment out of life any more. I was hoping I would have a massive coronary so that my family (and I ) wouldn't have to suffer through years of my gradual decline. I felt that I was a very poor example to my teenagers of how to live a life. I wasn't able to be the kind of grandma that I wanted to be so I pretty much avoided spending more than an hour or so at a time with my grandkids. I had accepted that the "fun" portion of the program was over and I didn't particularly want to hang in there for the sad ending. I've never been into sad endings.
When I watched the videos that lit that flame of hope once again in my heart, I didn't hesitate. I KNEW it was my last chance. I knew that this was what God wanted, no expected, from me so I did it. The change has been so dramatic, so fast and so unquestionable that there is just no turning back for me. Eating healthy, whole, clean foods and juicing fresh veggies in order to flood my body with the nutrients it has been longing for is the only option for me.
People ask me how I can avoid my trigger foods or temptation or whatever and they don't understand when I tell them it just isn't an option any more. They think, "Oh sure, easier said than done." But it is easily done now. Yes, I meant what I said; it is EASILY done now. I have faced situations where huge triggers from my old life were offered to me on a platter and I was looked at askance for refusing. Was it hard to say no? Do I deserve a medal for having the courage to look that old favorite straight in the eye and then walk away? NO. Because it was EASY! Would it be hard for me to say no to Meth? Or crack? Or heroin? NO. I don't put poison in my body no matter how much fun someone tells me it is because I value my health, my integrity and my future much more than any momentary pleasure. Yes. It really is like that for me now. I can't say that I will never feel that pull again. Forever is a long time and it is asking for trouble to say never. But for now, by the grace of God, it is easy. I can walk on my own and I can swim and I HAVE NO PAIN. So I can eat a big beautiful salad or a bowl of yummy, homemade veggie soup and keep feeling like I have a future or I can eat a hamburger and fries and a cookie and climb back into my deathbed.
So what is my motivation for sticking to the program? It's pretty simple when you boil it down. I. Want. To. Live.
Monday, September 23, 2013
It's Different This Time - from Sunday, August 18, 2013
I know we've all heard that before. Well, for me, it damn well better be different this time because I seriously doubt there will be another time. My body is failing fast. I am weaker and fatter and sicker than I have ever been; than anyone should ever be. I am not really sure what exactly I weigh. A few months ago I weighed at the doctor's office at 324. I'm pretty sure I've gained a few more since then. [Working scale revealed I was at 340.] I can literally barely get from my bed to the car. I spend my entire day on a loveseat 6 feet from my bed. I am on a bunch of medications that make me feel like crap and now I'm having symptoms of congestive heart failure. I have never put a lot of faith in the traditional medical community but it's amazing what you'll give in to when you are actually afraid for you life. I am 51 years old and I want to do some more LIVING before I die!!
I have tried before, obviously. I tried Atkins and WW and just tracking food and trying to stay in the traditional healthy guidelines here on SP. All my life I've heard, "Make incremental changes. Small changes add up to big changes." I reduced my salt, I quit drinking soda years ago, I quit using added oils and other fats, (Boy do I miss deep fried okra!) I cut waaaay back on "whites" like white bread, potatos, rice, sugar. This has all been over the course of 25 years or so. In those years, I have gone from overweight at 220 lbs in my late 20s to over 335 or so now. I'm sick of people looking at me as if I must hoover cookies into my mouth all day. And most of all I'm sick of sitting in this house and feeling helpless and useless. I'm sick of being a horrible example of how to live a life to my kids, two of whom are still at home. No more small changes. Now, EVERYTHING changes. I'm gonna die or I'm gonna LIVE.
Friday (Thursday is grocery day - my son goes for me) I am starting a juice reboot a la the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Boy doncha know that title caught my attention. I thought they made a documentary about me!! LOL I watched that. I watched Forks Over Knives and I watched Food, Inc. I did my own research. I read more books than I'm going to list here right now. I have chosen my path. I will do a minimum 10 day juice fast, actually planning for a 30 day but we'll play it by ear. After the juice reboot, I will start the 6 week plan in Eat To Live. I am still trying to learn how, in my area, I can avoid GMOs and such but I will just do the best I can to get whole, unmodified foods. As I become more mobile, I can shop at the whole foods stores in Tulsa instead of just the supermarkets here in my small town.
So, how is it "different this time" for me? I don't give a craphat about conventional wisdom any more as it has gotten me to this point of being literally fat, sick and nearly dead. I don't give a tinker's damn about how I look or what other people think of how I look. I am doing this so that I can live. I am doing this so that I can enjoy living again.
I am not the least bit worried I won't stick. I'm not weak (mentally) and I'm not stupid. Show me something that makes sense and that actually works in the important ways and I WILL do it. And I have an advantage in that I very rarely leave my house right now. The food that is brought in is picked up for me by my son and he follows the list I give him to a tee. I also will have an advantage that for the first week at least, everyone in my house will be doing the same thing. We are using this next few days to get rid of ALL perishables in the house and putting all canned goods into storage. There won't be anything in this house that isn't on that eating plan. Do I feel guilty for my poor 17 and 19 year olds having to give up their lunchmeat and hot pockets? Nope. I feel good about doing this FOR them. My 17 year old has high blood pressure and weighs 280 lbs [Once I got a working scale we discovered she was actually up to 303lbs.] (she is 6'3" but still) My 19 year old has high cholesterol and weighs 260 [This one turned out to weigh 288.] or thereabouts. My son and dil are living with me right now but they are both nearing 400 lbs! They are having trouble conceiving a child mostly because of their weight and I fear that my 29 year old son will have a heart attack before I do!! I am showing them that getting your body the nutrients it needs to function correctly and to heal itself as God intended it to all along, you do what you need to do. It's priority one. Period.
So. That's where I'm at today. I've been on diets before but that person is gone. That person tried and tried and failed. This one is succeeding. This one is doing, not trying.
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