Okay, lets start by getting the provisos out of the way. First, I am addressing people like me. People who are morbidly obese with multiple serious health problems that are connected to that obesity and have decided to address the problem with a whole food/plant based diet. Many of us watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and also incorporate juicing into our quest for healthy bodies.
Second, I am NOT addressing people who truly, literally do not have control over their own environment. It's not all that common and you need to really look at whether or not that is true and not just a cop-out. But if you really are not in control of your home environment then stop reading or understand that I'm not really speaking to you. Work environment is much more commonly out of our control but not nearly as critical either.
Another group I really can't address in this post is a large one. In my interactions with people seeking better health and/or weight loss, I see many, many more come and go than those who stay. Most people just aren't ready. They just haven't hit their own, personal, rock bottom yet. When it becomes uncomfortable they make a beeline for the mac and cheese muttering, "I can do it with portion control and working out like Jillian Michaels. I don't need no stinkin' vegetables." Cuz, that has worked out so well for them in the past:/ Heaven knows there is plenty of propaganda out there to feed their desire to choose an "easier" path or to even just continue on the one that is killing them. Everyone likes to hear good news about their bad choices so when the media spouts off crap about how we really have to eat dead animals or how chocolate is a health food, it's easy to grab onto that. Anyway, that's another soapbox entirely.
Right now, I want to address people like me. You're obese and unhealthy and truly committed to changing that. You have come to believe that a WFPB lifestyle is the best medicine out there. You are making changes and seeing progress.... and this is where SO many insert a "but."
But... it's the holidays.
But... my family is visiting.
But... my girlfriend doesn't want to give up chips and ranch dip so it's there in the cabinet taunting me.
But... I still need to fix cookies for my kids or I'm a bad mom.
But... my husband deserves fried chicken because he works so hard.
But... I have to go out to dinner with clients a lot.
But... nobody wants to see a veggie tray at the party.
When people who are just as sick and fat as I am/was say things like this, I want to ask them just how important this is to them. For me, it was literally life or death. If you've read my early blogs you know I don't exaggerate. So many people describe situations just as dire, nearly as dire or even more dire than mine was and then turn around and say, "Oh I have to fry chicken and bake cookies."
I believe we need to look at two things when we find ourselves letting these "buts" interfere with our best intentions. First, how important is this to ME and second, how important am I to the people around me. How much can I reasonably expect from those nearest and dearest to me. Here is where I start to sound harsh but bear with me. I know that I am lucky. Blessed actually. I didn't know how my family would handle it but, to be honest, my family is a matriarchy. My hubby is a truck driver and I'm a bossy, independent type chick so it works for us. In other words, I worried I would meet opposition but I. Didn't. Care. Once I knew that I had finally found the answer, I knew that I would follow through with it whether they liked it or not. I have kids from 17-32 and I wanted to influence them but I can't control them so I figured I would do what I had to do for me, require of them what I needed and leave their own bodies to them. I have been absolutely astounded how readily my family has not only embraced and supported my needs but followed my example. I have not exactly been a shining example to them in the physical/health department so they had every reason to shrug this off as "Mom's latest attempt" but they recognized something in the way I talked about it and in the evidence I presented and they have been on board 100% from day 1. I have NOT, however, been all that surprised that they had no problem with all the junk food and processed foods going bye-bye. If I told them I had developed a deadly allergy to cotton that was leaching away my health and energy, they would be right in there helping me find all the hidden cotton in our house. Because they love me! I would have expected nothing less. If you can't depend on your family to support you in your own fight for your very life, then what is wrong with that picture?!
So what if your family isn't on board? Get tough! It's your health people! In many cases it is how long you will be around for them and it is definitely how you will feel and function during that time. Sit them down and watch Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and, even better, Forks Over Knives. Tell them that you want to look better, feel better and be around to annoy them in your old age! Say flat out, if you love and value ME, you will support me.
I don't want this to be too long for anyone to get through so I'll cut this part short. If you have grownups who don't have the issues you have, look at two things. Do they actually need or benefit from the foods that were making you fat and sick? Does it really make you a bad mom/wife to refuse to prepare foods that contribute to diabetes, obesity, cancer, heart disease? So Susie isn't overweight? Yet? Most of us were thin at some point. The groundwork was laid while we appeared to be healthy. If they are healthy and fit, let's keep them that way! And if the hubby really has to have something like fried chicken or chips and dip, they are adults, they can go through the drive through. Same goes for adult children. They have to decide for themselves. But they should have enough concern and respect for you to support your effort to create a clean, healthy environment.
Here is my bottom line. Yes, I realize it sounds pretty harsh. If your family will not support your need to eliminate junk food and food that trashes your health from your home, then you have some deeper problems than weight.
And my other bottom line (hey, who says there is only one bottom line?) is that no matter how thin or fit your family appears to you, if you have discovered that certain foods are deadly, why would you continue to feed them to your family? If you've come to understand that a high consumption of sugar, animal protien, saturated fats... whatever, creates terrible health problems over time, then tell me again why you are a bad mom if you don't give it to your kids? You don't have to make the change completely overnight but I can't understand why you wouldn't start transitioning them to healthier and healthier foods. That is what my daughter is doing with her boys. I'll let ya'll know how that goes;o) But, trust me, you aren't a "bad mom" if you refuse to feed a diet laden with sugar and salt and animal fat to your growing children. Frankly, if the children are dictating what goes on the dinner table then we have a case of the inmates running the asylum.
Now about all those other "buts," if you have to eat out with clients, is it really going to make them lose respect for you in your professional capacity to eat a salad instead of a steak? To leave the butter and cheese and bacon off of your baked potato? If others at the party don't want a veggie tray... okay! More freggies for you!! And more of the junk they are scarfing for them. If your family is visiting, visit some vegan chef websites and find some really impressive recipes to show them just how tasty your diet can be. Sure, go ahead and fix PopPops favorite casserole but offer a couple of really yummy things they've never tried before with it! It gives you some healthy options and shows them that you aren't starving yourself on rabbit food;o)
I really want to add one last note to those who have somewhat dysfunctional families. You know who you are. You read this and think, "Yeah, try telling my husband that. He would start bringing home Kentucky Fried Chicken and eating it right in front of me while taunting me the entire time." "Try telling my mom that this is healthy. She is just as overweight as me but she would start bringing my favorite fattening treats over every weekend and telling my kids that I don't love her because I won't eat her thoughtful gifts." Yes, some families are dysfunctional. If these things are a problem, you probably know you have other issues besides food to deal with. You, my friends have to advocate for yourself. You have to love you. You have to realize that a healthy you can work on your families dysfunction better if you are in a healthy body. Especially since WFPB diets also make you think better and feel emotionally and mentally stronger.
Okay so THIS is actually my bottom line. (Yes, really! Why do you doubt me? LOL) Do what you need to do to get healthier. You count. YOU matter. Advocate for yourself, even with your own family, employers, clients. Unless you have some pretty extraordinary circumstances, clean up your environment. Your family won't die from lack of deep fat fried food. Require those who love you to show it. Become fierce about your own well-being. I know many people (myself included) who have spent November and December losing an extra 10 or 20 lbs while the average american gains 8 or 10. For the first time in many years, January 1st will be a time to celebrate all I've accomplished and plan for all I will accomplish in 2014. My only regret is that I didn't start way sooner in the year! I don't for one second regret skipping the pumpkin pie or sugar cookies. And I don't regret refusing to contribute to the poor health choices of others either.
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